Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Driving One...

24 replies

High5totheface · 24/04/2018 10:13

I’ve had 3 failed driving tests. Go me! I have another one in June. I was chatting to a friend over lunch last week about how I was feeling about my 4th bloody test! She says if somebody asked me to get in a car now and drive on my own with no passenger/instructor etc, do I feel that I could do it...of course I could probably do it, I’ve had about a million lessons and 3 tests! Would I feel confident to do it and actually feel ok about it? The answer is definitely NO! I would be an absolute nervous wreck and seriously doubt myself throughout the entire journey.
Is this normal? Even if I did pass, my feelings aren’t going to change overnight are they. Did anybody else feel this way and is it normal to seriously doubt your driving capabilities, or is this a red flag and if I still don’t think I can do it and don’t believe in myself, should I give it up now?

OP posts:

ButterfliesandMoths · 24/04/2018 10:16

I felt nervous when I first passed, but the more you drive the more confidence you'll have in your capabilities. Make sure you drive everyday to build confidence up. There was a time I thought I'd never be able to drive on the motorways, but I forced myself and now, although not a favourite of mine, I do it. You'll be fine. Good luck on your test.

RedHelenB · 24/04/2018 10:18

I had two separate spells of lessons and about 6 tests I think. 15 years later as a single parent I drive anywhere and everywhere. Sat nav is great. I still would prefer to be chauffeur driven but you get more confident as time goes on. It's the overconfident ones that tend to have crashes once they've passed.

Woofygoldberg · 24/04/2018 10:20

I passed 3rd time, I'm not an overly confident driver still.

Even after driving nearly 20 years ago I can remember the first time I drove on my own- I was terrified! Hands trembling, gripping the steering wheel like I was holding on for my life. I only went 3 miles and nearly cried.

With practice you get there, I promise. Experience teaches you many things even after you have passed your test.

Happygummibear · 24/04/2018 10:34

Took me 4 times. The 4th time I got a different instructor and went to a different quieter town to pass my test. I had the same examiner who had failed me twice before so I asked my instructor to come in the car as I wanted an impartial view if I did fail again.

I was nervous so as soon as I got home I ripped the L plates off my car and went for a drive in a quiet area. Best thing I did. Week later i did a 140 mile round trip using motorways on my own.

It is ok to feel nervous. It's a bit like someone has been holding your hand while you learn to walk and they suddenly let go.... just need to take the first step and trust what you have learnt.

For a long time I went through the motions of what i was taught like reverse parking tips and then eventually it just became natural.

Justposting · 24/04/2018 10:34

I’ve passed on my third test over a month ago, I got my car now but still terrified of driving, I still don’t drive on my own yet only if my husband is with me as am a nervous wreck with the kids in the car, I try to go to the local shops daily before husband goes to work, but I am still not confident enough to go on my own, so yes it will get better with time I hope, good luck on your test :)

Justposting · 24/04/2018 10:36

I felt more confident in my instructors car than my own, only because people would know I was a learner and be more patient with me, when I drive now I don’t have that same security I had as a learner knowing my instructor had control of the brakes should anything happen, so I find driving once passed much more stressful, I currently feel like I’ll never be able to drive on my own but who knows

applesisapple5 · 24/04/2018 10:39

Good luck!
When you pass you are in theory the crappest driver on the road, it's very normal and sensible to be cautious wouldn't you think?
Choose quieter times of the day to drive for the first month, get as much practice as you can, if you have 'a bad drive' try and learn from it and move on ASAP, don't dwell on it, that's why you need loads of practice so your 'bad' experiences are not hazardous and are just minor errors that anyone could make.

Confusedbeetle · 24/04/2018 10:41

The more you do the better you will get. Keep it low pressure to start and build up

19lottie82 · 24/04/2018 10:41

I passed on my fourth attempt! And I don’t think anyone who hasn’t passed their test, or even just passed, would feel confident driving solo! That confidence doesn’t usually come for a good bit after you’ve passed

What have you been failing on when you’ve passed? Has it been 1 major / too many minors or have you been failing really badly? If the former I’d say it’s prob just bad luck / nerves, but if the latter and you fail again I’d maybe start again with a different instructor.

19lottie82 · 24/04/2018 10:41

PS has your driving instructor been taking you out for mock tests?

LifeBeginsAtGin · 24/04/2018 10:45

You don't learn to drive properly UNTIL you have passed and gone out on your own.

Your instructor thinks you are capable of passing otherwise s/he wouldn't have put you forward. So there's at least one person who thinks you can do it.

Good luck.

Original poster

High5totheface · 24/04/2018 10:48

Thank you all for your comments. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has felt this way and also reassuring to know that others still feel the same once passed!
Lottie it was 1 major on all 3 tests! First test 1 major and no minors at all. Second test 1 major, 3 minors and 3rd try was 1 major and 4 minors. I feel like the more tests I’ve done I have declined and had more minors but I feel like each test failure has knocked my confidence, so when I go in for the test again, I’m thinking about previous fails and working myself into a wreck.

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 24/04/2018 10:49

Hi OP - Try not to worry about the minors, they’re not a big deal unless you get enough to fail. 1 major is usually just bad luck. Try not to stress (easy to say I know!) you’ll get there!

reddington · 24/04/2018 10:59

And I don’t think anyone who hasn’t passed their test, or even just passed, would feel confident driving solo!

Speak for yourself! Passed my test, drove straight home with instructor. Ripped the L plates off my car, job done. Within an hour I was on the motorway. No stress, no issues.

BlurryFace · 24/04/2018 14:38

I don't drive, but my dad is an ex-driving instructor.

He gave a nephew freebie lessons as a favour, and after he'd passed his test the nephew drove him to the local pub for a "thank you" pint or two. But the nephew drove straight past! "What are you doing, you missed the turning?" "Well Uncle John, I was waiting for you to tell me to indicate and turn left but you didn't!"

applesisapple5 · 24/04/2018 15:38

How wonderful for you reddington, that's such a helpful and relevant comment

LakieLady · 24/04/2018 16:10

I failed my test 4 times, passed on my 5th. It's the only thing that has ever made me feel really nervous, and it made me nervous to the point that my legs shook so much, I couldn't keep my foot on the brake, never mind control the clutch.

I'd kind of lost hope of ever passing by my fifth test, and just sort of assumed I'd fail again. That may be why I didn't get nervous, and passed!

The first time I drove alone after I passed my test, I had to drive from Croydon to Worthing, then to Southampton and back. It poured with rain and was dark by the time I left Southampton, and there was no motorway. And I wasn't sure of the way so was just following my nose (this was 1975, so long before satnav). The following day I had to drive into central London, round Hyde Park Corner (terrifying, this was before it ad traffic lights and it was just the busiest, fastest roundabout), round Marble Arch and all the way up the Edgware Road to somewhere I'd never heard of.

I reckon I really learned to drive in those two days.

StormcloakNord · 24/04/2018 16:35

I sometimes think you're either made to drive or you aren't.

So many of my friends were massively nervous first time drivers and struggled to pass. I struggled to pass too but I was/am always confident. Passed on my second go.

I remember the first time I got into a car and drove when I was 17, I was nervous but after pulling out of the first junction it was great and I was confident after that, was never nervous of driving on my own or with someone etc.

19lottie82 · 24/04/2018 17:26

No Within an hour I was on the motorway.
No stress, no issues

Maybe not a good thing......

reddington · 24/04/2018 17:29

Maybe not a good thing....

If you can drive on a dual carriageway then you can handle a motorway

Wornoutbear · 24/04/2018 17:47

Took me 3 goes to pass, same with my brother. However, a friend who passed first time is a terrible driver - I often wonder hoe she did it!

Original poster

High5totheface · 24/04/2018 17:56

Reddington- it’s people like you who inspired my username! No jokes aside, some people are more confident with driving than others and I admire your ability to be confident and get on with it. Unfortunately I am not one of those people and I am genuinely struggling with it and it is therefore becoming very frustrating for me due to lack of belief in myself. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

OP posts:

reddington · 24/04/2018 18:06

The only way to get confidence is to do it. Start on some low speed dual carriageways with 50 limits and keep driving them till you’re happy. Move up until you’re happy on NSL dual carriageways then see if you can find any stretches of 2 lane mway nearby and just drive 1 junction at a time. Do it at 2am if you like with no traffic just make sure you’re well rested!

Tobringornottobring · 24/04/2018 18:12

OP, I passed fairly recently after several tests. I'm the first to admit I'm not yet that confident behind the wheel, I'm fine on local journeys but not on motorways (yet).

That said, it doesn't matter. You will pass your next test I'm sure. And if you don't just keep going til you do. The fact is it doesn't actually matter if you pass first time or 20th time (apart from the extra cost of course).

Once you've passed you've passed. The number of tests you take to do so has no bearing on your insurance premium, nor does whether or not you feel confident to drive solo now (most people take a bit of time to adjust to the idea of driving alone, it seems so odd at first but you will get there).

Ignore the naysayers. Keep on with It, and look forward to that amazing moment when you get the certificate. Because once you've passed you never have to have another lesson or test. It's done

Flip