AIBU to wonder why people are so rude to shop workers?

[Hofty]

I work in a shop. For context it isn't a supermarket, it sells quite expensive gifts. This is relevant only because it's not a busy and stressful place to shop.

Yesterday morning a woman came in, it was very quiet and I was quite bored so I left her for five minutes and then went over and said 'hi, how are you?' she then preceded to lean into my face and barked at me 'I don't want to talk to YOU. I want to shop' whilst looking down at me like I'm a piece of shit. I walked away. I cried out the back though.

At a different retail job I had a customer actually scream in my face once because I didn't hear what they said because it was loud in the shop.

I also seem to get quite a lot of tutting and eye rolling for absolutely no reason from the general public, I could maybe understand that if I was making mistakes, but I'm not. I'm just serving them on the till.

So, AIBU to wonder why on earth customers are so rude to staff in retail?

I don't work in retail but I work in care and I can tell you for sure, people are rude to us as well because they see us as servants and if they are paying for private care, oh my their attitude to you is disgraceful!

You can tell a lot about people by the way they treat those they consider 'beneath' them. The sort of people who are rude to shop assistants are the same ones who click their fingers at waiters, never say thank you to serving staff, and march past door staff as if they weren't there. They're also the ones who strangely aren't noticed when they do need assistance or get their food spat on or - in the case of the door staff at my old work - aren't let in if they forget their door pass, no matter how well the staff know them, and have to go through the full visitors procedure which included having to fill out a form, have their picture taken and wait for someone from their company to come down and collect them. And it serves them right.

(Those of us who said hello to the door staff and stopped for the occasional chat but who forgot our door passes were waved in with a cheery "No problem, just make sure you remember it for next time, love!"!)

These type of people are usually rude to anyone they think they are ‘above’ so shop staff, hotel, waiters, bin men etc.
They will be rude to these ‘minions’ then complain about the poor service they receive, which makes them rude to the next person.

Normal, nice folk who treat people all as their own equals and smile will get better service which will enrage the likes of Mrs Grumpy, which in turn will make her behaviour even ruder next time she is interacting with shop staff/waiter etc. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I think they have some issue with their own security and probably deserve our pity that they feel so insecure.
I had 20 years working in pharmacy and saw patients actually stamp their feet like a frustrated toddler, did they get the “out of stock” items any sooner? Well obviously, no they didn’t. Did they get nicer service in the future? Again a resounding no!
Lesson is, be nice to everyone because when ever we (pharmacy staff) went out of our way to give exceptional service it was to the lovely customers, never the rude one.

While I am openly rude to staff who are openly rude first this isn't that. Sounds like you just get a lot if nut jobs.

I've been there retail is horrible. Especially when the customer is telling at you for something you both know is a problem but head office don't give a shit about.
I always used to tell customers to ring head office as they would get a better response

How dare anyone think they are above a shop assistant, bank clerk, NHS worker, public servant etc or feel they can be rude to them. YANBU, OP.

My eldest son has just been made redundant from one of the big 4 Supermarket chains after they have reduced their workforce by 70% and he is determined not to go back into a customer face to face job,
Last week he was summoned down to Customer Care as he was duty manager on rota and asked by a very bombastic customer who knew it all why a certain brand of drinks has been repriced more than the 8% sugar tax increase he had all the facts on his print out and the government web site showing the increase,what he didn't understand that with a six pack it meant 6 x 8% hence the price.My boy tried to explaine that it wasn't him who was in charge of price rises and if he was he probably wouldn't have been made redundant would he.

I think rude people treat shop staff with such disrespect because they consider themselves to be above them.

I work in a different industry where people have a lot of 'staff' and 'assistants' - A lot of people treat the assistants very rudely. I have on more than one occasion had my arse saved by these assistants because I treat them like the humans they are. Worthy of due respect and compassion.

It's amazing what kindness can do. I once missed my flight and forgot my presentation notes - an assistant in another office put herself out to rebook my flight and send me my presentation in 3 different formats to make sure they would work. When her review was coming up I took her manager out for lunch and waxed lyrical about her impressive and efficient skills. She was promoted and has been saving my arse ever since!

I used to get shouted at by clients when I was a legal secretary, just because I told them they couldn't speak to their solicitor because he or she was in a meeting. Because of course their case was the most urgent case we were dealing with.

I coped with it by reminding myself that they were shooting the messenger. It wasn't a personal attack on me, because obviously they didn't know me.

I think this behaviour stems from the belief that 'the customer is always right.'

I couldn't believe how badly I was treated by customers when I worked in retail. It was unbelievable. I was spoken to as though I were an idiot as standard, I was shouted at, I was clearly a third class citizen.
I also worked for the NHS and that was even worse. That got very personally abusive, in person was worse than the telephone. Even my personal appearance was subjected to abuse (I don't have straight teeth)
I have a much more stressful job now on paper but I love it because people aren't rude to me, it's the opposite.
I will never never give a customer service worker a hard time because in am having a bad day or just because I can.
Never. I used to go home and cry.

Because customers are human too and sometimes when you've gone into ten shops in a row trying to buy something and in every single one you've had to make polite fake conversation with people trying to sell you stuff you just snap.

I don't think I'm above shop staff at all. That doesn't mean I want to make conversation while I'm browsing. And I'm not sure why my preferences are the ones that have to be sidelined when I'm not the one being paid to be there...

rutnoast And as a fellow human I could never be rude and disgusting to another human being. I cannot comprehend how a polite "hello, how are you?" Can set someone off on one.

marie

Exactly

I say hello...thats it

One of my friends walked past a customer and said hello on her way...and the customer yelled NO and put her hand in my friends face

(the look on my friends face was funny though )

And we have had customers complaining because no one acknowledged them when they walk in the store

They are happy with a 'hello'

I am usually very polite but even I lost my shit when we were actively, obviously followed round a furniture store by the salesman. He'd already approached us and we'd said we'd find him if any questions, but that wasn't good enough for him.

I eventually stopped in my tracks, turned round and told him to stop bloody tailing us because I was about to walk out. About 60 seconds later, when he was "hiding" behind a wardrobe, we did.

@rutnoast - Part of the job is that you HAVE to speak to customers - and trust me, we don't usually want to. The staff get pulled up on it when they don't approach customers. I hate being spoken to in shops but I understand that the staff have to speak to the customers and it's probably as awkward/tedious for them, a simple ' Hi/I'm fine thanks, just browsing' is more than ample.

I agree with those who are saying that there are some people who seem to think that shop workers and others in similar roles are not worthy of any respect so they can be rude to them, which I think is appalling behavior.

That said, a friendly "hello" type acknowledgement that I'm now in a small shop from a member of staff I'd say I'd welcome that and be friendly in response :-) ....

retail staff who come up to me in a shop or a department store when I'm browsing quite happily on my own, is different though. I'd always be polite but that "approach and fake conversation" really, really annoys me.

I do remain polite in this situation but I'm internally screaming "if I want your help, I will attract your attention, and then I'll ask for it." How on earth the people who train shop workers cannot grasp this simple concept is beyond me.

Louise

etail staff who come up to me in a shop or a department store when I'm browsing quite happily on my own, is different though. I'd always be polite but that "approach and fake conversation" really, really annoys me

Yeah that can be irritating

I agree that customer was rude, but there are other ways to address this
Occasionally I work in a shop, which happens from time to time as I do other work for the shop owner, and he might pop out and leave me to my job but also look after the shop - it's a specialist shop so again can be a fairly quiet place.
If I get a customer in, I don't say 'Hi, how are you?' which demands a non yes or no reply ie involvment of conversation which might not be appreciated - and nor is it about the stuff the customer might buy.
I prefer the less invasive 'Do let me know if there is anything you need help with?' This can be answered with a simple 'ok' or even a nod if no help is needed and allows the customer to browse on after acknowledging you are there to help, or might engage the customer to ask eg 'does this widget come in any colours other than the green or blue you have here?' Of course in my case it is always something awfully technical that I'm way out of my depth with till the shop owner comes back! But asking in this way also means it is far less easy for a customer such as the awful one you encountered to find an excuse to be rude to you.

I was in Superdrug yesterday couldn't find a product. Approached a staff member on shop floor and the moment I said 'excuse me...' she said 'Im busy'.

So it's a 2 way street. I find customer service standards so bad here.

Don't wind up customers by not taking a minute to listen to an enquiry, or expecting them to be all sweetness and light when they've been standing in a queue for ages, during normal working hours, and yet there's only 1 till open.

Only for closed till to be miraculously opened if/when a customer kicks off.

I don't bother to be rude to shop staff I just won't spend my money where staff are rude. I've worked in retail in the past, would never do it again. Of course there are rude customers. Some people come out to take their bad mood out on strangers. Best to remain calm and unflustered, don't give them the satisfaction of the angry or upset reaction they're hoping for

But I know very well that there are staff who continue to chat to each other when customers are waiting. Staff who skulk round the back as they don't want to deal with queries/till. & customers know it. Which doesn't help.

.

Not for a moment defending the rudeness. But 'hello, how are you?' isn't a great opening gambit. I don't want to make conversation when I'm shopping. 'Hello, can I help you?' would be better/more appropriate. Then the customer can say 'Yes please, I'm looking for X' or 'No thank you, I'd just like to browse'.

As to why people do this - two main reasons, I suspect. First, as some have already mentioned, they think they can - think they are 'above' the staff member in question. Second, also they think they can, but more to do with thinking the interaction, rather than the person, has no value or consequence - 'I'll never see this person again so I'll let my bad mood out' (not thought consciously, of course, at least not in most cases). Neither is acceptable, although the second is arguably more forgivable.

I work serving the public but i dont take any shit from anyone....if someone snaps at me i snap back...as do most of my team...we are not paid enough to take abuse from customers...
My son had a weekend job is a discount type shop...he had a customer at his till saying the coffee was priced up wrong....my son apologised but the man kept on and on....eventually my son snapped and said "does it make you feel good to try and humiliate a 16 year old lad".....the customer scuttled off looking sheepish.

@bowl rest assured we don't want really want to speak to you anymore than you want to speak to us.

I know, which is why I’m always polite... :) I’ve done my time in retail as a student and met some utter arseholes.

If only there was a way of feeding back to shops that a smile and then back to tidying etc is all people need...

Its all down to this ridiculous mantra that the customer is always right. The customer is not always right unfortunately but they know that the retail employee cant argue so stand their and smile/nod instead. If more employers sided with their employees this problem would disappear because most nasty people who do this would realise its unacceptable. The worker here has no protection against these vile people. I'll admit I'm an ex retail worker and in every job since I look for roles which dont deal with the general public. I always do the classic mutter "Rude" under my breath when I see this and hope they hear me but not challenge me

I literally just say hello

Usually belted out from the other side of the store