Children in restaurants, behaviour AIBU

[Ridiculouslyso]

Regularly go out for dinner with friend and their children (7, 9 yo) along with mine. Friend's children enjoy making "potions" with leftover food, coke, salt/pepper/sauces, whatever is available on table in discarded bowls, making a horrendous mess for the waiting staff. I think this is very disrespectful to the restaurant and tell them off and tell my DC not to get involved, however, it is awkward as their mother doesn't seem to mind and I don't like telling other children off. But I can't help myself!

I used to do this, but at home, in the bathroom, and always had to tidy up. Not in PUBLIC

Like the PP, I used to make a George's Marvellous Magic Medicine in the bathroom sink. I also used to stir my ice cream into a soup.

But both at home. Never in public. I completely agree - anything that makes a massive mess for the staff is not on.

YABU for telling them off when their parent is there. If she doesn't mind it then that's her choice. If you mind it don't go out for dinner with her. Don't get me wrong I think it is rude of the children, I just would not enjoy going out with a friend who thinks they have the right to tell my children off for things I am aware of and have chosen not to discipline them for.

Having said that she still continues to eat out with you.

I'm sorry Fruitcorner but I am eating with them and any mess on the table is associated with me too, it is embarrassing and horrible for the staff. I don't have a habit of telling other people's children off.

My dc do this at home, the word experiment fills me with dread. They don't do it during meal times though or when out. It isn't fair to leave more mess than you have to.

Sounds disgusting. I'd try to find reasons not to go out with them.

I'd say something to the mum rather than the DC, like: 'Could you possibly ask Johnny and Suzie not to do that with their food, as it's a bit off-putting after a meal?'

Sounds gross. I wouldn’t let my kids do that.

I would not put up with that nonsense. And I disagree with the idea that you would be unreasonable to say something......I would.

YADNBU. I was expecting you to say that they were toddlers but I wouldn’t even let my 3yo do that.

I would ask your friend how she thinks the staff feel.

If she doesn't change her view, stop going out with them.

I'd stop meeting up with her and the kids for meals. If she asks why, tell her the truth.

No, you are not being unreasonable! That would make me feel quite mortified!

Would the children stop if you just put your hand over the potion to stop them add any more to it and just ever so nicely say “let’s not make a nasty mess, it’s not nice for the people who clean up”

The mum can’t possibly take offence at that, then just say to her “it’s not nice for the poor staff”

It's just not good manners at the end of the day. Making a mess for others to clear up is not ok.

You can either talk to the friend about it and how it makes you feel, but the friend may get the hump over you judging her parenting, or you can just refuse to go out for meals with them. If you do still want to eat out with them I would talk to your kids before you go out and explain why you don't want them joining in. It may look fun, but it's just rude.

Kids shouldnt eat out until they know how to behave. This is gross and your friend is pure lazy.

rude and unfair she should tell them off

Grim. I've let my kids mix cola and ice cream before at home, after DS spilled his in his pudding and I told them it would taste nice like a Coke float.
Never in a restaurant.

I used to work for a very popular chain that was big with families. I would be bothered by huge piles of unused ketchup (the waste!) but this didn't bother me at all. I wouldn't really care if a friends kids were doing this. The food is usually hosed off before going in the dishwasher so not a huge inconvienance. No more unsightly then spat out bones and snotty tissues. My main gripe- used tissues shoved into glasses, which have to be fished out boak always adults.

I think YANBU, but this is Mumsnet, where you'll no doubt be told you're taking away a human right if you protest children being annoying their spirited little selves in restaurants

Ridiculouslyso

I get that but think you should speak to the adult in charge of them not the children themselves. I just wouldn't eat out with her.

Ex waitress here. So long as it's reasonably contained, I wouldn't care.

I used to be a waitress as well and I wouldn't be bothered by this- so long as it was in bowls etc and not all over the floor. It's all going in the dishwasher anyway so it makes precious little difference what's actually on the plate.