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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this normal for a cleaner

44 replies

APushoverForNow · 23/04/2018 21:56

Hello, I've name changed for this but have posted a few times before.
I've had a tough year - one of my parents died last month, and the other is expected to pass away any time - could be days or possibly months. I work 25 hours a week, have twin DCs aged 10, and I visit my Mum 5 times a week in the hospice.
I'm giving this background to explain, and I'm willing to admit my judgement is well off at the mo, so if IABU I'll accept your better judgement.
We are comfortable financially in that ends meet with some treats, but far from well off (car 10+ years old and holidays are usually camping). We decided to employ a cleaner although it's a luxury borne out of necessity. Until last month when he died I was heavily involved in my Dad's day to day life to support him. We had one cleaner and she was amazing - in 2 hours she did vacuuming, cleaned kitchen (moving everything) and bathroom. 4 bed house. No dusting or anything else but that was fine. But she left for a career change.
I asked for recommendations to replace her on Facebook and a friend of a friend offered to clean - she already had another cleaning job. She does 2.5 hours a week for me, plus 2 hours once a fortnight at my parents (which doesn't need much as it's empty awaiting sale). We pay her £12 an hour and round here average is £10-£12 an hour, so is fair I think. Each week she writes down her hours and I leave money out - more than will cover it and we just carry forward a credit. We did it this way because I said if she needed to do less or more any week it was up to her, and I'd pay per hour. The following are the issues I've got:

  1. We recently invested in a video doorbell. As a result I've discovered by chance that although she always writes down 2 hours 30 minutes, in fact she usually does 2 hours 10 or 15 mins. Not much but each week I'm paying for 15-20 mins she's not doing. I assume the same applies at my parents because the one time I was in and out while she cleaned, she left after 1 hour 40 but I just assumed she made it up other weeks (though in six weeks I've kept an eye on timings it's always short). She doesn't seem to try to hide it - if I'm about she still does it. I just hadn't realised until I saw the timings on the doorbell app.
  2. This would all be ok if we'd agreed a per job rate but we didn't - it was always hourly and she writes it down. It would also be ok if my house was as clean as when the last cleaner did it, but it's a fair way off that. This lady moves nothing, so when I moved the knife block recently I found weeks worth of crumbs etc behind it. Ditto food mixer, bread bin, etc. She dusts a little but it's just a flick with a feather duster - no polish or damp wiping, so that accounts for the extra half hour compared to previous cleaner though the rest of the cleaning she does less than the previous lady.
  3. She brings down 2 bins from upstairs bedroom and bathroom, and flings it all in to a large recycling box I have, along with various used jeyes cloths, paper towels and wipes she's used. I've pointed out that most this stuff isn't recyclable and she just says she knows that and that she puts it in there for me to sort. Which means it's mixed in with all the stuff already in the recycling bin and I end up rooting through taking out wipes etc that she's cleaned the loo with, and sorting the contents of 2 bins. I try to do this before she comes now to avoid the big sort, but she still flings the wipes, cloths, paper towels among the recycling.
  4. When I popped in at my parents with the DC to give her a new key, she made a big point of telling the 3 of us that someone had left an unflushable poo in the toilet and it had taken her 4 goes to get rid. It was one of my DC I'm sure (who were horrified) but none of us realised it was there. We flush with lid down and I guess they didn't check. My cousin stayed at the house after my dad's funeral and the cleaning lady asked me afterwards to tell her next time to rinse her pubes down the plug hole. Mortifying and not nice but I didn't know they were there. I then found myself rinsing a few hairs away when the cousin stayed one night a week later.
Right now I'm not up for conflict, so I'll keep her for now as I simply don't have time or headspace to deal with this or with finding a trustworthy replacement. But my intention is when life eases off a little, I'll give her notice but I doubt I'll say why. I don't know - AIBU and this is normal par for the course and I'm being petty? or is this unsatisfactory? She is a nice lady, even came to Dad's funeral and she seems caring, I firmly believe she wouldn't steal items or cash, and she's nice to talk to. So there are pluses. As I say, if it's me and I'm being harsh I'll accept that as my head is all over the place.
OP posts:
APushoverForNow · 23/04/2018 23:14

Thanks WatchOut - we have an alarm too - I could probably have checked the times a year ago but until I was admiring the app for my doorbell and seeing who'd been near my door I had no clue that she was doing less hours. Yours is a huge time loss though! I had thought maybe this bit wasn't uncommon.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 23/04/2018 23:20

YANBU. I can’t believe she’s so sloppy with the recycling. Not helpful for you. Also very cheeky to always bill for extra time.

IsItThatTimeAlready131 · 23/04/2018 23:26

No, I wouldn't be happy with that if I were you, OP.

I have never employed a cleaner, but was a cleaner for a while. I had 2.5 hours to clean a whole school on my own every night (yes, I am Wonder Woman!) If I was told to do xyz and not to do abc then that is what I would\would not do. You have every right to tell your cleaner what she should and shouldn't do, within reason of course.

I had 8 children's toilets to clean plus urinals and wouldn't dream of complaining about poo being left in them, unless there was excessive mess, and I can guarantee there were blocked toilets sometimes. (Every so often the boys toilet was put out of order until I tackled it - always back in working order for the next morning.) The plunger got quite a bit of use.

She is short changing you on her hours, if I left work early every week I wouldn't have lasted the 3 years I did.

I would recommend putting feelers out for a new cleaner or see if there is an agency that can provide a cleaner for you.

Jux · 23/04/2018 23:35

You'd probably find it less stressful to do the cleaning yourself rather than having to pretend you're happy with her service.

MountainSkies · 23/04/2018 23:42

@LoveYouTimMinchin really not nice!
OP - get a new cleaner

Lacucuracha · 24/04/2018 05:51

She is adding to your stress! Can you ask for another recommendation from someone else? Or hire an agency?

Friends and business rarely mix.

Lacucuracha · 24/04/2018 05:53

I'm amazed you have time to post about all of this given your circumstances op.

What a spectacularly unhelpful reply. Why even bother posting?

drinkingwinefeelingfine · 24/04/2018 06:10

@LoveYouTimMinchin is the cleaner Grin

Shoxfordian · 24/04/2018 06:20

Yeah you're not unreasonable. Your cleaner is supposed to make life easier not cause you even more stress.

I'd recommend using an agency, the standard is usually higher and they check the cleaners work for you. Also if you're not happy then you just tell them and they change cleaners.

summerinthecountry · 24/04/2018 06:23

You need a new cleaner, and I would replace her quickly and get it done.

If it was just one of those things you could probably discuss it with her, but maybe it is beyond that now.

Her cleaning isn't up to scratch, she is shaving off time each week at your parents house which is dishonest and breaches your trust why would you keep her?

You will feel much better with a new cleaner, be more assertive with this one tell what your expectations are from day one (moving things, bins etc) You don't need this with everything you have going on.

RoadToRivendell · 24/04/2018 06:38

I wouldn't care about the 15 or 20 odd minutes (my cleaner has become more efficient as she gets to know my house - I view it more as a managed service than a payment for hours).

The other parts are not great, particularly not moving around things on the worktop - this is something that should be done as part of even a less than intensive clean.

I have no idea why you'd hire a friend of a friend. Bad idea!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 24/04/2018 06:53

Time for a new cleaner, she is clearly slacking.
I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time, be kind to yourself OP. 💐

Monkeypuzzle32 · 24/04/2018 06:59

shes a slacker, you are going through a hard time atm, if you want an easy way to let go of her just tell her you can no longer afford a cleaner. Is not her place to criticise the 'state' of the bathroom, if she cant handle that as a cleaner then shes in the wrong job!

APushoverForNow · 24/04/2018 09:28

Have to say drinkingwine's comment made me laugh out loud but also quickly consider whether it could be her Shock
I do appreciate all the replies - I'm trying to sweat the big stuff at the moment, but this has been getting right up my nose lately, so I'm grateful to hear that all issues combined confirms it's time to move on.
I do know I've got bigger things to focus on but everyone needs a little time out of those.
I think an agency is the way to go - although she's a friend of a friend I'd never actually met her before she cleaned for me, but now it's not worked out it adds that awkward layer.

OP posts:
Fanciedachange1 · 24/04/2018 17:08

I have never had a cleaner so I may be way off the mark, but have you discussed with her what you expect her to do?

Maybe make a list of essential tasks that she should do, and try to work out roughly how long that should take.

I definintely agree that you are in the right in regards to moving things in the kitchen, but maybe she has always cleaned like this for others with no complaints so assumes it is ok?

goldenlilliesdaffodillies · 25/04/2018 14:29

I think your cleaner is taking advantage- particularly as she knows the stress you must be under. However I appreciate it is really hard to get rid of a cleaner when they are coming into your home.

I really need to get new cleaners. Mine are friendly and reliable but not very good. They only seem to clean when I am in the house! It's hard to say anything without causing offensive.

allthingsred · 25/04/2018 14:41

The leaving 15 minutes early wouldn't bother me (tbf I'm crap at maths so trying to pay by minutes?... I couldn't deal with the headache)
The sloppiness I would have to address.
If she's cleaning your kitchen then moving things about to clean underneath/ behind them is basic.
£12hr is a good wage. She should be doing a good job for you.

APushoverForNow · 25/04/2018 21:23

Thank you - yes I feel irritated that this has come at such a difficult time. I'd rather not deal with it, but I will.
She does know what was expected - on her first visit we went round and I told her in detail what the last lady did. Even if she didn't know, I feel annoyed that she directed her comments about the unflushable poo at the DC. They were mortified and I'm sure the turd do'er had no idea it hadn't flushed.

OP posts:
Palace2 · 27/04/2018 00:25

The 20 minutes she is trimming off her work hours is costing you £4. Not bad if you can get away with it! Why don't you tell her you've noticed it is taking just over 2 hours for her to clean so you're going to drop it down to 2 hours a week? If she asks how you know you can then tell her she's clocked in and out by the doorbell.

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