AIBU to want him to share stuff??

[Bear2902]

Me and Oh have been together about 16 months. Both have children. He doesn't live with me but spends most of his child free time at mine. Gets on great with my kids and his child fits in well.

The issue is, every other weekend when he has his child he excludes me and will go off and do his own thing then expect to come round Sunday night once he's dropped DC off to their mum.

I know he needs time with his child but he expects to be part of my life and be included in what I do but doesn't offer me the same.

I've spoken to him about it many times and he promises he'll change but never does. His reasons are he has to drive around a lot to entertain his child and he knows I don't like driving miles around the county.

I'm just fed up with being excluded. Surely if its a relationship it should be equal and include sharing stuff?

I'm fed up with making a fuss about it because he clearly doesn't see that its an issue and doesn't understand why it upsets me.

He used to pay me some rent as he was only not there when he had his daughter. Now however he has his own place so doesn’t but he does buy the dinners on the nights he’s here.

He has her Friday night to Sunday teatime, every other week. My boys are at their dads from school pick up Friday til Saturday evening and then I have them every Sunday.

He says he doesn’t want to make me drive 40miles (that’s how far he lives away from me - but he works 8 miles from me so stays with me a lot) and spend the day with his daughter when I’m childfree. What he doesn’t seem to realise is I like spending time with them. I only see him on Saturday a month at the moment as he has her two weekends and works on the third Saturday.

Perhaps ensure that you also spend time with your DC when he's not around... and give it more time. If things don't change a year from now, then decide if you're okay with that or if it's bothering you too much.

Think about it this way...if he's always with you when he doesnt have his DD...if he also spent that time with you ...you'd be together 24/7.

You do need some time apart and not just when you're both working.

I know we need our own time, and we do have it. We aren't in each others pockets. Yes he stays with me a lot but it's really only 3 evenings during the week (for about 2 hours by the time he comes in from the gym - its then bedtime) and then one Saturday a month.

What gets me is that he says he wants to see me all the time and wants to include me but his actions don't match what he says. Its making me doubt everything he says now which is the last thing I want. He promised he'd make more of an effort but the weekend just gone he had his daughter and yet again spent it with his friends and their kids.

God I'm sorry, I sound like a right moaner. But if this can be sorted then things would be pretty good. Its the only thing we argue about, every other weekend.