to ask was the year after your second DC the worst in your relationship?

[Mustardnowletsnotbesilly]

DH and I have DS2 and DD6months, he just changed jobs so is very busy, i'm on mat leave til Sept and we are both enormous after the breeding years. I've tired SW and WW but the urge to eat sugar is too much at present.
We currently sleep in separate beds as I co sleep with DD. We have no time for each other and haven't had sex for 6 weeks!!! I'm so knackered and so unsexy. I literally barely have time to wipe my arse properly let alone shave my legs. He feels fat and would rather Airfix.
I read somewhere that the year after your second child is the worst in a relationship? Although we have everything we ever wanted we argue a lot about bollocks and constantly play the "I'm not saying you aren't tired, but i'm way more tired than you" game. Sometimes I love him to death, sometimes I loathe him.
He spent the weekend with his elderly parents, me on my own with the kids and he has just come home, cue more fighting about how untidy I am and how anal he is. I'm exhausted and crying like a twat.
My question is does it get easier? Do you find your way back to each other? Give me hope oh wise MN...

Yes OP, it is a really hard time. I had three under four, including two poor sleepers. I’m not sure which exact year was the hardest as it’s all a bit of a blur!

They’re now aged 8, 10 and 12 and things are so much easier. DH and I are still together and still happy. Hang in there!

Yes. Thought it would be bad after 1st one, but that was a doddle compared to the second. Didn't help that dc2 was v clingy and I constantly felt strung out.

It got better btw. Mainly when.they were old enough to go downstairs and put the telly on themselves.

Yes, definitely true for us. 19 month age gap, DD1 didn’t sleep through until she was 3.5 and DD2 woke up every hour at least until she was 6 months old. We could barely even look at each other a lot of the time. It was truly awful.
I think things started to improve dramatically when DD2 was about 15 months (which is also when she started sleeping through!).

Now you come to mention it OP, yes.

Everything's fine again now though.

I have 2 kids one has a lot of additional needs and a toddler plus we both work and it’s exhausting. However please don’t take this a dig but you need to make time for each other even I feel it’s a takeaway on a Friday night once the kids are asleep and a glass of wine. Switch the phones off, don’t pressure yourselves just talk to each other. I know that sounds daunting when life is so busy but it does your marriage wonders. If your worried about your weight decide as a family to cook better meals by using sw recipes for inspiration I know from my own experience it’s quite a lot of planning to follow it totally, take more walks (added bonus is this tires the kids out) during the light evenings let the kids play out a few more minutes in the garden whilst you and hubby watch them. If you have a family member that I should happy to babysit let them. Occasionally it’s okay to prioritise yourself and your hubby over the kids even if it’s just for an hour whilst they are asleep.

Oh yes. The two year age gap! It got much better for us after a year. I am now at the exact stage you are at with DC2 with my DC3. It's difficult but we have a bigger gap this time so it still isn't as hard as that first year with 2. Hang in there!

Definitely. By the time my second child was 18 months old we had deteriorated so much we were barely speaking to each other. I focused everything on the children, getting enough sleep and keeping the house up together. His father died, he never spoke about it, he then had an affair and left.

Tbh I'm not sad about it for myself. My life is better without an emotionally retarded alcoholic but I'm sad for the kids.