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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How old is too old to change your life?

28 replies

Greenyogagirl · 22/04/2018 20:47

I’m a single parent to a disabled child, I get no support at all. He is home educated.
I am so bored to tears with my life, I feel like I have no purpose and I’m wasting my life.
I lack motivation to do much at all, I’m so bloody tired all of the time but I want you to inspire me with tales of retraining to change career or setting up a business or moving abroad, whatever, just a big change that you made Smile

OP posts:
Jessikita · 22/04/2018 20:50

It’s never to late you change anything in your life. What you have to be ready to do is change your mindset. It’s no good finding 10 excuses why you can’t do something, you have to find one reason that you can.

I had a major career change a few years ago. It’s worked out.

HollowTalk · 22/04/2018 20:52

It must be incredibly hard home-educating your child - you must have no time to yourself. Is there no suitable school nearby, or are you a dedicated home-edder?

booksandcoffee · 22/04/2018 20:54

Seconded. I am glad it worked out for you Jessikita.

Battleax · 22/04/2018 20:54

I’m in the middle of a complete career change now at 42. That doesn’t feel too old. I also had several years out for similar reasons.

There probably comes a certain point where some things have limited returns (like commencing a medical degree after 50, for example) but on the whole, I’d say don’t let age be a determining factor in your plans.

Lots of MNers seem to have completed second degrees and apprenticeships at all ages, for example.

What do you have in mind and how many more years are you likely to be tied to HEing?

Battleax · 22/04/2018 20:56

Is there no suitable school nearby, or are you a dedicated home-edder

I’m guessing it’s more to do with how poorly SN are catered to by the system.

clumsyduck · 22/04/2018 20:57

Well I began my degree and had a total career change as a skint single mum ! Never could have imagined I'd have done it in a million years . Never too old !! Flowers

Puffycat · 22/04/2018 20:58

I also did a big change a few years ago, best thing ever!
Make that change!

mytittifersungtheirsong · 22/04/2018 20:58

Mid 40s here, started a PhD, plan a career change once I'm done. Never too late. Also a single parent with crappy finances and little support!!

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 22/04/2018 21:04

It sounds exhausting, GreenYogaGirlFlowers

I too am interested in your reasons for HE. Maybe you feel that you have no choice? Or perhaps you entered into thinking it was the right decision, but no longer want to pursue it?

Have you considered/researched possible support for your child, or what provisions there are for him being educated outside of the home?

I'm sure you're not too old, OP.

Original poster
Greenyogagirl · 22/04/2018 21:04

Forced into home educating after one particular incident broke the camels back so to speak.
He’s too intelligent for special school and too special for mainstream school so I’m currently fighting to get him a place at a private autism school.
@clumsyduck how did you manage that?!
I’m so scared of failing that I don’t try anything Blush
When I was little all I wanted to be was a vet, until I was 15 and the pressure of ‘You have to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life!’ And careers advisors and friends just made me panic completely! This was before the internet so I didn’t know that GCSEs don’t really matter in the great scheme of things!
I’m very creative and like drawing, photography and sewing but I have no business sense or social skills so I couldn’t have my own business Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenyogagirl · 22/04/2018 21:05

@mytittifers can I ask what career you are going for?

OP posts:
sharkirasharkira · 22/04/2018 21:05

Age is just a number!

One of my favourite quotes is (I'm paraphrasing here)

"Don't put off doing something because of the time it will take. The time will pass anyway"

I really believe that, you can either stay where you are and in 5-10 years be in the same place or you could invest 3-4 years in something and end up much better off. Its totally up to you but I completely understand how hard it is Flowers

Original poster
Greenyogagirl · 22/04/2018 21:14

Thank you @sharkira I like that!

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 22/04/2018 21:38

green well my degree is with the open university . You can get full student loan with them now so no money worries you start repaying the student loan when you earn over 21k a year . And it's a very small amount on that salary . If you google "open university open learn " I believe you can do short taster courses totally for free which should give you a taste for if online study is for you and even if not it's something interesting to do maybe on an evening to learn something new and give you some ideas - that's if you at considering study at all it's obviously not the only way to change your life !!

I'm not saying it's not been hard , my ds started school around half way through my degree and so the time when I had a child at home and trying to study was very hard having to juggle it all and mainly study on a night were as latterly being able to study on my days off work while dc in school . Obviously I'm not home educating so our situations are different

Like I say it doesn't have to be education though what about hobbies ?
I also enjoy photography , do you have a camera ? If not could you save little bits of money untill you could afford one ? I really love getting out and about and getting nice pictures ! If you have a pc/laptop you could learn how to edit your pics like with photoshop etc and see what you can do with your photos . That's something you could do on a night ?
Don't sell yourself short , believe in yourself !!

Izzidigne · 23/04/2018 00:11

Change of career at 48 here. I honestly think you should consider getting your son into education again. It's not good for you and I'm not convinced it's good for him to be home educated. I know I don't know your situation but all the special needs education I've come across has been amazing. You could then retrain, online degree course, open university or other vocational course.

Battleax · 23/04/2018 00:24

Wow.

DizzyBeeme · 23/04/2018 00:40

Great thread. I am a SAHM and have 4 children 9 and under. My youngest dc will be in full time school next year so I am looking at what to do. I have a degree in business management but last worked nearly 10 years ago. I don't know whether to retrain as a teacher, so we'll have the same holidays, try and find decent part time job or start my own business. Battleaxe if you don't mind me asking what have you retrained in - you and other posters have inspired me.

Juiceylucy09 · 23/04/2018 00:40

Make a decision for something you love. Would you be interested in a career in social care you already have lots of understanding of SN issues.

Possibly start an online course when you do get some time to yourself.

It's horrible when life feels mundane. Good luck with the new school. I hope things get better for you both.

AhoyDelBoy · 23/04/2018 00:51

This thread gives me hope! I feel too old to start another degree now at 33 or possibly in another years time, I guess I'm not really! OP you sound lacking in confidence, similiar to myself. I guess it's a case of you don't know till you try! With your creative skills you could definately go down the starting your own business route, so many resources online to help with this and would give you the required flexibility as a single parent.

Original poster
Greenyogagirl · 23/04/2018 01:04

Thank you everyone.
It’s ridiculous because I’m not 100% sure on what I want to do I don’t do anything!
I’m going to sit down tomorrow though and write down what I genuinely love to do and what careers interest me.
Even if I dedicate 6months to something and it doesn’t work out, at least I will have done something!
I’m trying @izzidigne he had his first exclusion at 4 years old and spent year 1 excluded so I feel like I didn’t have a choice, I assumed he would get a place at special school but it seems the only appropriate school is a private one, which is obviously difficult to get the local authority to fund.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 23/04/2018 01:39

Major changes to my life just short of 50. It's never too late.

3l3ctricmeter · 23/04/2018 07:14

It's never too late to try something new ! I know several people who have changed career. Is there a charity that can help you or provide you with some respite care ? There are lots of Facebook groups related to hobbies that you can join. Due to redundancy I relocated and started a new job nearly a year ago. Someone I know is doing a course to become a teacher at 50, with the possibility of 20 more years in employment until retirement. Are there any other families in your area that you can meet up with or online ?

3l3ctricmeter · 23/04/2018 07:19

One of my friends volunteered to teach English in a non EU country for several months at 70+. She loved it and stayed with some of the local teachers and was immersed into the local culture. She is my traveling inspiration !

MissusGeneHunt · 23/04/2018 07:21

What a lovely positive thread! Given me some hope too. A PP suggested the OU freebies, they're called Future Learn and are brilliant. Good luck OP, you CAN do this!! Badger your education department at the LA for support, too. Flowers

Izzidigne · 23/04/2018 13:08

Sorry if I sounded trite about special needs education. I've had very positive experiences of it. I'm in awe of you managing to home educate. That is massive. That in itself is a great set of skills you have. However I would definitely not recommend going into education at the moment.