Not happy

[Olivia93]

I moved from london to sheffield 4 years ago , with husband and kids away from all our family and im still not happy here. My husband has a very good job and i also work part time and the kids are at school /nursery all happy but i feel miserable , i have no friends and nowhere to go all i do is drop the kids at school , come back home clean and cooks . We go park and soft play at weekends too and everytime i visit my family in london i feel so happy but when its time to go back im sad and the kids also feel the same and also asks if we can get a home in london and move to new school but when we back in derby they happy and forgot about london but im miserable here.. all i want is to move back there and be near family and go back to my old job as a hairdresser but that will be impossible and not fair on my hubby because here rent is cheap and we manage fine better than london and stress free. Its anyone else in the same or was in the situation as me and how did you move on and be happy ?

I am in exactly the same position but a bit vice versa, in that I moved south from the north.i have acquaintances but no real friends. I can’t see a way out and I’m stuck here because of DH’s job and DS’s school. Nothing else to add really, it’s just survival mode TBH.

Thanks dottyblue and how long you been there?

I hear you. I'm at the other end of the country and since having my DS, I feel even more isolated. I'm doing my best to make friends but it's not quite the same as being at home. DottyBlue2 is right, it's just survival mode. Are you able to find something for you? Just something you can do, like a book club ( I know this sounds cheesy but it does work!) X

I’ve been here three and a half years. I tried everything and I’ve given up now. We’re moving house for a fresh start and I have agreed with DH that we have nothing to do with the new neighbours. Nothing.

Before I moved down here we were a very popular family with lovely neighbours and friends - we had street parties and we had the Royal wedding party in our garden shortly followed by the queens jubilee party also in my garden. This May we will be packing up and saying good riddance to the weird people round here. I spent two years thinking it was all my fault and that I was somehow strange. I finally realised in the last 12 months that,no, I’m not the strange one. The people here are bigoted, narrow minded, mean-spirited and entitled. I’m glad I don’t fit in. They are not pleasant people.

I’m sad to hear that Sheffield isn’t good for you. There are some run down parts and some good parts. Try going to the university areas and see if it’s any more vibrant there.

Sorry but I can’t get past London/Sheffield
On the other hand isn’t it more to do with friends and interests?

Derby or Sheffield?

I'm with you OP. Moved from Londin where I knew my neighbours, my postman, knew the family who owned the corner shop. Moved to rural Sweden which has to be the most soulless, unfriendly place in the world. I am desperate to move back to London.

Sheffield

Thanks kc225 happy to see that im not the only one , in my area all the people are the same unfriendly look away when walking past them even at school , some mothers are mean and wont even talk to me ... i have like 3 that we only greets each other thats it . I wish i can move back too

Sounds horrible. Do you have a hobby and could you make friends doing that?

Dont know Why there are some school mums like the ones you describe but I have learnt from mumsnet that some people really are cruel.to one another. I know sheffiedl and have found people friendly so sounds like you've been a bit unlucky wuth the parents you have met.

Could you invite the ones who greet you round for coffee? Could you invite some neighbours round?

I think you’ve just been unlucky, especially with the school mums. Some of my best friends are women I’ve met at the school gate and some of those only recently moved into the area. We’re obviously a bit more friendly over here in Suffolk.

You need to find friends(easier said than done).
Part time job.
Being a bit braver at the kids school,talk to the mums who acknowledge you,ask about any groups that could help you make friends as you are still trying to settle.Maybe join the pta.
See if there are any local MeetUp groups that interest you in the area.
Try not to pass your negative feelings to your kids,they will make friends and settle in sooner than you.
It will soon be summer and Sheffield has a lotto offer and some beautiful countryside and people are friendly on the whole so fake a smile , you'll get further anywhere that way,people will smile back and it starts getting easier.
Good luck, it's hard at first but doable.

Thank you