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AIBU?

to want to keep family baptism gown for a little while.

14 replies

Carameli · 13/05/2007 22:22

arrrggg. is all I can say right now.
Basically my SiL had a lovely gown which both her children(now 21 and 19) were baptised in so I used it for my dd(now 3 1/2) and had intended to use it for my son in a couple of weeks.
But today found out after ahe called dh that she wants it back after the baptism.

This has really upset me as I had always thought I'd be able to show it to dd and ds when they were older. Now not sure sure what to do.

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emkana · 13/05/2007 22:23

But you say it is her gown... so why did you expect to keep it?

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Carameli · 13/05/2007 22:24

thought it was going to be passed around the family.

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Saturn74 · 13/05/2007 22:24

But surely they'll be able to see it if they want to - they could just ask their aunt?

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shonaspurtle · 13/05/2007 22:24

Maybe she's thinking that she will want it for grandchildren at some point and wants to make sure it doesn't go missing.

You'll still be able to show it to your dcs when they're older at your sil's won't you?

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fireflyfairy2 · 13/05/2007 22:25

It is her gown. She may want to show it to her children.

If they are 19 & 21 then there is a distinct possibility that they may want their children to wear it

My sister bought a gown 15 years ago. We have all used it. And we have all passed it back to her after we've been done

common courtesy if you ask me

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emkana · 13/05/2007 22:26

In my family there is a christening gown which all my cousins and myself and my brother have been christened in, and now all our children.

After use it always goes back to my aunt, she keeps it.

I don't have a problem with that, as the others said, if my children want to see it they can do so at my aunt's.

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MrsBadger · 13/05/2007 22:26

why not pass it back and let SIL (who I presume actually bought it ) hang on to it and pass it on to the next baby?

DD and DS can see it when visiting SIL. If she ever wants to get rid of it you could suggest you look after it for the next generation.

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hairymclary · 13/05/2007 22:26

I think it's reasonable for her to want it back. I can understand your reasons for wanting to keep it too though.
Did she buy it or was it passed down?

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PinkTulips · 13/05/2007 22:28

her gown.

i had my dd at 20 so entirely possible her own children could need it soon enough. it'll still be there if your kids want to see it but it's simply not your gown

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Carameli · 13/05/2007 22:28

ok perhaps you are right. must get some sleep now. will certainly listen o what has ben said here.

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Debbiethemum · 13/05/2007 22:32

Carameli - whose side of the family, yours or DH's.
Unfortunately our family christening gown, ended its life after my cousins christenings so I had to buy one for dd (brought a simple outfit for ds). I really want my dd's christening gown to be a family one, but I want to control it long enough to be used for my ds's & dd's children. So I would lend it to any family member on either side who would like to borrow it, but I would like it to 'live' in my house.

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chocolattegirl · 13/05/2007 22:48

Well it is her gown and I'm sure she'll lend it to you whenever you have a baby you want christened. It doesn't give you ownership rights over it though so she is entitled to ask for it back.

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kslatts · 14/05/2007 21:17

If I used a family member's gown for my dd's christening I would expect to give it straight back after, my niece made her 1st communion at the weekend, dd1 is due to make her's next year and BIL has said she can borrow niece's, but I wouldn't expect to keep it afterwards.

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agnesnitt · 14/05/2007 23:33

Family gowns usually have a custodian. Looks like your sister in law is the one in your family. Cherish the photos you have and know that when the time comes, pretty much every baby in your family for quite a time will enjoy the use of that gown

Agnes

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