SATs

[SATsStress]

Ds1 is preparing for his SATs in May and has always been a good student however we have recently moved and his new School are being awful towards him (in my opinion of course) he's never excelled in maths or English, always been average no matter how hard I push him. His strengths are easily seen in science and sports, he can pick up a rock and talk for hours about its features and that's what he loves.

His new School are telling him he's not a good enough reflection of the school and he needs to try harder. They've just received an outstanding ofsted rating and are keen for this year group to do exceptionally well.

I refuse to put pressure on him at home, he does reading and spellings most nights and that's enough for me.

I've just learned that he will be taking tests in July, CATs I believe. They want to do them soon after SATs so they don't have "summer headed" children placed in the wrong ability groups.

On to the question of AIBU, he came home crying Friday saying he couldn't cope anymore, he's fed up of trying his hardest and it never being good enough for them. Would I BU to tell him to sit at his desk and simply write his name on his SATs papers in some hope of showing the school that they have acted stupidly. Then he can do his CATs without the pressure a month later for his new School.

I probably am BU. I can't stand to see him like this.

I wouldn't teach him to sit at a desk, write his name on an exam paper and then do nothing. That will bite you (and more importantly, him) in the arse at GCSE time.

You can keep him off and boycott them?

I would have words with the school about the amount of pressure they are placing on him and explain that it is counter-productive. if they want him to do the best he can then they need to lay off.

I would keep up a strong counter-message at home. Say you know he tries hard and that is all you expect and you will be proud of him.

If they are sending home silly amounts of homework then only do what is reasonable.

FWIW your approach is the best approach in my opinion.

I think you should go into school and speak to the head. It’s not acceptable that they are causing upset. This isn’t encouragement.

If you boycott that will affect their results, so they wouldn’t want that either.

SATS are important because it’s important to support your school. Show them that you are taking the tests seriously, but this is not acceptable.

Believe me I am pushing the message into his head that he is good enough no matter what a piece of paper, or pushy teacher, says. He isn't an exam child. I was an exam child and whizzed through my exams with top marks and no thought about it. For his GCSEs he will pick coursework based subjects and work hard on those to make up for his exam work.

His homework projects are outstanding, his tests aren't. I don't feel like I should be teaching him that exams mean more. We've been warned that if we boycott them he will have to redo them once back, I've been called in many times and had many, many heated meeting about my "underachieving" child.

This is more about me than him, I don't feel like I should let my son have people treat him like this with no consequences.

I've always been a work hard and respect your elders kind of parent but I'm finding it very hard to think of any reason he should respect those who tell him he's not good enough.

For his GCSEs he will pick coursework based subjects and work hard on those to make up for his exam work

Might not be an option, OP.

Hopefully someone more familiar with the topic will come along but I'm sure you can opt your child out of sats. However rest of school day will be focused round them it could give him time off after school to focus on sports and things he enjoys learning about

@Pengggwn I know, it's just hope. I hope the system fixes itself soon so those who suffer with exam stress and anxiety aren't penalised.

The only reason I'm good at exams is because I have an excellent memory. Seems unfair really.

SATsStress

Of course it is. But you want to be careful that, in trying to teach your DS that it only matters that he does his personal best, you're not teaching him that exams don't matter, because they do.

I'm a teacher and I well understand the pressure schools are under regarding SATs. But this is unacceptable.

Complain.

@Pengggwn before he moved to this school he knew the importance of exams, he was almost even excited for them. This school has beat it out of him, it's so hard to watch

He is now petrified of failing, he actually cries. Why should I let them do that to him when it's only for the benefit of their school?

GCSEs are beneficial to his life, as are his CATs. These are meaningless exams for him and I'll make no secret of that

Its only a few more weeks, just keep him going and they will be over soon. Personally I think he would feel better prepared at school if he did more work at home. Surly its the disconnect between the the push to do the best you can do at school and the laid back dont worry no need to try that hard at home. Parents need to support schools.

Life is hard and the pressure at GCSEs will be even greater. You want to get on top of this now, not kick the can down the road when it will be to late.

Don't teach him that he can't do exams. Tell him it is a skill he is still developing and he will get better over the next few years.

A lot of the coursework/controlled assessments has gone from GCSEs under the new structure. Maths English, Science are all exam based. I think that might well be true of the humanities and languages too. Even 'practical' subjects have got more technical and include written exams e.g. Food preparation & nutrition.

In secondary there will be regular tests and you will need to help him learn how to produce the best he can there.

@Rockandrollwithit

I've complained and complained and have even started an official complaint.

I can't respect these people, they should be helping my child right? They are not doing this. They are ruining his confidence and undermining his many excellent qualities. They've threatened to pull him out of his cross country team unless he improves. How can any teacher, who I believe should not enter a profession like teaching if they genuinely care, do things like this?

If I was a parent doing this I would think people would say I was almost abusive

Best of luck, OP.

I do teach him, without being too outing, I'm a professor myself so I understand the importance of school.

We are a very academic family however I will not force him to do more than his spellings and readings each night when he absolutely hates it. He spends hours with his science books, and experiments. History is another subject he loves and spends his free time on. As well as drama, music, dance and sport.

He can play piano and saxophone, he's not a held back child at home in any sense.

This is about a school acting selfishly and ruining a child in the process. I can't tell him SATs are important when they aren't. They are for the school, not him and he School are making that very obvious

I have told DS these exams don't matter and that no one is going to ask what he got when applying for jobs etc. This is because his teacher has told him on many occasions he is 'going to fail the SATs'. I have told him though he will take exams when he is older that do matter and so he should treat the SATs as an experience in doing exams i.e not being able to talk, move around, making sure he doesn't spend ages on a question he can't do and not get time to do the questions he can do etc.

@ineedamoreadultieradult that's along the lines of what I've told him, glad to see another parent giving the same message.

Maybe I'm also trying to teach him a sense of justice, and I don't want his school to be able to do this to my child without consequence. I know that's unreasonable, we just both feel so overwhelmed and wronged by this school.

How will he feel when the SATs are over, if he doesn't try his best, they get their results, all his friends are overjoyed with their 5's and he is depressed with his 3's (or whatever). Or he is forced to try his hardest is overjoyed at getting 5's and says thank you to his teacher for pushing him to do his best even though he didn't like it at the time?

I disagree, SATs are important. All exams are important and if you dont treat them as such and do your best every time them when you get to Y11 it will be to late. I hear parents in Y11 telling their children the GCSEs aren't important its the A-Levels that really matter, all you need is the bare minimum to get onto a course at 6th form.

I completely agree with you and I'm glad you've gone down the official complaint route.

The stress on year 6 teachers and leadership teams can be almost unbearable but that's no excuse to pass it on to the children in your care.

@Walkingdeadfangirl

He's been told that his CATs will decide his secondary school future. And that the SATs are only a reflection of the school. I'm not going to lie to him. He's actually researched the importance of SATs online and then told me he doesn't see the point in them. He cares about school and used to enjoy it. The SATs are not a reflection of my sons attitude to learning, he puts his all into everything he does. However SATs have broken him. He says he is trying to use the SATs revision for his CATs so he does understand, we both just can't see the justification for the schools behaviour when these results are not for his benefit

He will never thank these group of teachers for anything. They are hideous and emotionally manipulative.

The only day he will be thankful is when he's able to walk away from them.

"If you fail your SATs you'll be in the lowest sets for your GCSEs and not ever stand a chance of being a scientist"

"Pass this spelling test 100% or no more cross country" - (this is what prompted the complaint)

"Your child can't just play with dirt for the rest of his life" (speaking about his passion for rocks and earth)

"As a fellow teacher you (as in me) should teach him that what's best for us is best for him"

There are so many more examples but how anyone can say he would thank them if he did well is truly laughable

'Playing with dirt' 😲

However the situation with SATs is complicated. Arguably they only benefit the school, not the individual children.

But all of the children in the school suffer if the school gets 'bad' results and triggers an OFSTED, and then moves down a category. I've worked somewhere where this has happened and the quality of education was disrupted by teachers leaving and the huge pressure applied to all teachers - observations etc.

I'm not excusing the behaviour of the teachers in this case at all. No matter what pressure you are under, you should try your best to protect your class from it.

SATsStress we have had similar:

"If he can't learn things the way I teach them I don't know what else I can do?"

"He is just going to have to get some SATs books and learn things at home I haven't got time to teach him anything more"

"If he hadn't wasted the last 7 years at school on playing sports he would be able to pass his SATs" This from a teacher at a school that is keen to excel in sports and as DS is talented in this area he has been taken out of school by the school approximately once a week for years to represent them at various things. When I asked them if they felt this would be a problem academically they said no.

DS absolutely loved the school until year 6 he was their golden boy, helping them win many trophies and national recognition in sports. All of a sudden he can't do anything right and the teacher has given up on him.

Maybe forget about the SATS themselves and look at which bit of their contents he can do, and where he struggles. Many parts of SATS are useful in and of themselves - punctuation, times tables (actually most of the maths), the basics of grammer. Decide bw you which bits you care about and focus on improving those, working from the level he is at now. And please don't write him off now from being able at maths and English. He'll need skills in both to be able to progress in science/history/whatever. Regardless of SATS.