To dislike the fact my child is assumed to be failing

[sandsandthesea]

Because she’s on free school meals?

Bettie she’s achieving fine thanks.

Is she achieving her full potential? How will you know if you don't take advantage of extra resources when they are offered to you?

If you don't want the help and they keep pushing it, write to the Head and say you would rather the help went to a child who had missed a lot of school through illness, or a student speaking English as a foreign language?

I understand that you see it as a judgment; but you don’t have to participate. As others have said- the assumption is if requiring FSD, then there will be less availability if money in the household to provide extra curricular activities. It’s a fairly safe assumption for most in this position. This is to ensure that children are not left behind from extracurricular activities because of a lack of funding but can still participate. I only see it as a positive.

"A massive difference I've noticed (professionally) between students and parents in Indy and State education is that children in independent schools are not embarrassed to accept extra help and happlily take advantage of every opportunity to get ahead."

Yep. There's a difference between a reasonably well off person shopping in charity shops because it's "such fun-fabulous bargains and you never know what you're going to find!" and having to shop in charity shops and take what you can get because you don't have the money for anything else.

In our school children on FSM get reduced cost trips and free textbooks for revision.

i like that it is targeted directly where finances will be a barrier, rather than "You've got to have extra education because we suspect you're thick because your mother's poor" lessons, which would send me into the sort of rage that would lead to me home educating and then regretting it because my children are better dealt with by professionals.

Maybe she is in a booster group of children who might be able to achieve extra depth. In most schools PPG money will be spent to help fund various booster groups at different levels, but not all the children in all the groups will be children in receipt of PPG and not all PPG children will go to the groups. Children who are eligible for PPG may instead be offered free uniform, free after school clubs, free music lessons, free places in breakfast club or holiday camps, free trips etc. They might also be offered drama therapy or one-to-one conferencing with an adult who is not their class teacher. These interventions are targeted though, not just randomly allocated.

I do understand how, if you already feel (wrongly but understandably) slightly ashamed for needing FSM, you could feel singled out by this. But you could encourage your daughter to try it and see how it goes, and maybe tell her it's because she can achieve something really good rather than because her family is not well off.

If the school have even mentioned to her that it's because of the FSM then they are well out of order, but if it's you who has told her this then you need to talk to her again and explain that the money for it is available because of FSM, but she has been chosen for this extra tutoring because she is a bright pupil and can do amazing things in her future. Make it into a positive for her.

In our school higher achieving pupils who are entitled to pupil premium get enrichment in English and Maths, so this tuition really doesn't mean she is behind at all.

If your child has been offered extra free tuition, I don't know why you wouldn't accept it. Unless she's already getting maximum marks in everything, there's always room for improvement.

If her school's culture is such that the children on FSM are embarrassed or ridiculed, then I think that's what you need to raise with the school next time they push the tuition point.

Make the most of it!

I think you are behaving really selfishly op. With extra tuition your dd’s grades can only improve. Many people pay a fortune for extra tuitio, and you are turning your nose up at it.

Wow. They can't win, can they.

My son - not on FSM is failing at maths and English

We have been fighting for years to get him the help he needs to pass the GCSEs in 3 years time

I am not embarrassed that he needs extra help.

I find it insulting that you are turning it down due to snobbery

Who here has children on free school meals who ALSO don't understand why the OP is pissed off? HAnds up!

Not me. I absolutely get it.

I don't have children on FSM and I get it. But I think the school must be handling it really, really badly.

Bettie she’s achieving fine thanks. She doesn’t need foreign holidays that I can’t sddord.

I'll be honest OP I think you are letting your own feelings get in the way here, maybe dented pride? You can't afford the holiday so therefore your child shouldn't have one, even if it was being offered as a way to help your child. This isn't a slight on your ability to afford things for your child. It's not about you, it's about her and her reaching her potential.

My kids are not FSM, but my DS was offered extra tuition for maths at primary and I was happy with that as it pushed him to achieve well above the average.

"Your child isn't musical, she doesn't need languages?"

My dgd is taking music classes and I haven't the first clue whether she is musical. How do you test that?

What a shame, OP, that you have internalised some idea of inferiority connected with poverty. I'm Irish so don't get that idea, most of Ireland's heroes lived and died in poverty.

Statistically children who are in receipt of PP do worse than those who aren't. To level the playing field each of these children get an additional amount of money to support them. Whether that's in the form of tutors, free school trips or help buying uniform. It's not a personal attack on you, it happens every day across the country.

I get why the OP feels insulted by the implication that ALL children on FSM need extra help. But the assumption is based on statistics and the initiative will have been designed to make sure tuition is targeted at the children likely to gain the most benefit from it.

The fact it's based on statistics and not on an assessment of the OP's child personally should be enough to satisfy the OP that no-one is implying anything specific about her own child's academic ability.

The school appears to be in a situation whereby the funding can't be used for anyone else and this child doesn't want it. So it's a waste of tuition that a child (including the OP's) could otherwise benefit from.

OP, I would take the tuition and if you feel it's not improving your daughter's grades after a while, question it at that point with the school.

How do the school run these sessions? e.g. do they get all the FSM kids in a room during school time and teach them the basics? Do they take kids out of lessons for individual time with a learning support worker? If it's either of those, I totally see your point- it's stigmatizing and, if a group session, unlikely to be helpful.

If it's one-on-one sessions outside of school hours, that would be an amazing opportunity though.

It’s after school Tuesdays with a supply teacher she doesn’t really like and she would just rather go home with her friends.

Schools have to provide provision for pupil premium children. It's a legal requirement.

Children on FSM generally end up behind where they may otherwise be. Socioecomomic factors play a role in student achievement so you might have a (hypothetical) student who is bobbing along ok and doing well but actually with some extra could do much better.

We've used some of our PP money to fund stretch and challenge tuition for able FSM students who've got lower targets than what they are capable of.

We've also used it for extra curricular costs too.

Its a bonus for her.

As stated above, this is called Pupil Premium and the school has to demonstrate that it uses the extra funds to support these students. Where I work we normally provide text books, revision guides, free trips and targeted interventions. Please take advantage of extra provision, OP.