to ask how you deal with your children’s terrifying hobbies?

[Springersrock]

DD2 is mad on horse riding, has been for years, and last year we were able to find her her first pony.

DD is having an absolute blast and is completely fearless, I trust her riding instructor, pony is pretty bombproof but I am fucking terrified.

I avoid watching, but DD gets upset that I’m not there to see her ride.

I think the issue is that I don’t ride, so don’t really understand wtf if going on. I just see this big-ass animal with my little girl on the back.

If I’m honest, horses frighten me a bit (DH and DD are the horse fans). I’ll happily muck out, cart barrows of shit, fill haynets and haul water buckets, but not so keen on the actual horse bit.

DD has a jumping lesson his afternoon and she’s begged me to watch her and I just want to cry thinking about it

Thanks!

Mine's into scooting. If I catch sight of him on the fucking terrifying very tall ramps at an indoor skate park, mid air with the scooter being spun round I feel quite giddy and sick.
Fortunately he wears a shit load of safety gear, even a gum shield. Doesn't stop me being a very precious mother though

There’s a couple of things that might help a teeny bit.
First, buy a very good helmet, not just a helmet. Check out how deep it is and how much head it covers. You can research online for optimum details. Friend’s daughter just walked away from a very bad fall and this was due to the quality of her helmet.
Secondly, safety stirrups are not all alike. There are many different designs. Again, may be worth some research.
You can insure your child. Doesn’t stop the accident but makes recovery more comfortable.
Try some mindfulness exercises. These will really help to ease your anxiety. Again, loook online.
Good luck!

I know exactly what you mean. My DD is the same. She has been jumping on riding school
Ponies a lot at her lessons and I went along to see her recently and felt really anxious as to me the jumps seem huge. One of the girls fell off a few weeks ago and bruised her ribs and she was back on that day jumping in one of those body protectors. They have no fear at all and just love the excitement of it but it's hard not to project our worry onto them. My son is also a goalkeeper and realistically he could just as easily get a bad injury same with sports like rugby, skiing etc. I think we just have to go along be supportive and hope for the best but I do know exactly what you mean xxx

Thanks all!

So, I managed it! Yay!

I had a bit of a moment when it looked to me like pony was going to fast round a corner and looked like she was going to fall. Huge panic but it was fine, DD didn’t even blink.

I kind of zoned out a bit. It looked like I was watching but wasn’t really if you see what I mean.

I know I’ve got to let DD do it, and I was fine in the early days. It’s all the cross country/bloodhounds/jumping/beach rides stuff that panics me. I’m just so scared.

Every time I start to relax around it all, something happens and I’m on edge again - DD falls or something and I’m back to square one

Sorry, posted to soon, meant to add we did lots of research on the safety gear and went with her instructor’s recommendations, plus DD and pony are insured to the hilt so I feel a reassured we’ve mitigated the risks as far as we can.

I just see this big, powerful animal with my little girl on her back - or not so little, she’s nearly 13

Just a tip I wouldn't fall for the advertisement for free jump stirrups bring the best safety stirrups, if you ever hear of them or your daughter wants them. I've seen far too many of them snap and considering how expensive they are, that's ridiculous. My friend got a pair and they snapped the first day she used them. Not worth the £150.

One of the other kids at the yard had those stirrups for Christmas. Raved about them for 2 weeks before one snapped.

We looked at them, but DD’s riding instructor recommended a pair with the elastic bands - DD is small and light enough for them and they work perfectly well.

She’s had several falls from in all different directions and they worked exactly as they should

In very glad that my dc hobbies are mostly not at all ‘dangerous’ (e.g. dance/football) although playing the violin and trombone could be potentially dangerous for the hearing of those around them...(NB they’re really not that bad to be fair!).
I have, however, always had a massive fear of horses, so I’m pretty glad they don’t ride.

My DD does karate at quite a high level but it is non contact. It has been suggested she step up and start competing outside of the club in bigger events. They are contact! She is 12, it won't be happened not for another year at least!

Have you thought of an air jacket? My DS events and he’s only allow to do dressage without the air jacket on.

Ds used to cycle and play rugby (he's now given up the cycling as he couldn't give both sports the necessary commitment). The cycling parents used to tease me about the dangers of rugby and the risk of concussion. I was a bit mean and said, "Oh you mean like the concussion my mum got from a cycling accident that ultimately killed her"

To be fair, the point was that there is risk in all sorts of different activities. The accident that my mum had was bad luck - but I saw plenty of high speed accidents at cycling road and track races that involved broken bones and even occasionally kids being knocked out (and cycling again the following day which did upset me as a 2nd concussion before the first one has healed can be really dangerous ).

I started to understand why Sir Chris Hoy's mum hated watching him race .

In contrast, I never watch ds' rugby games with my heart in my mouth. This is both because of his skill - but also because safety is taken very seriously. If a player gets concussion, they can't play full contact for a minimum of 23 days.

Ds gets such pleasure from his rugby and works hard at it. I'd rather he was doing something like that, which involves self-discipline and commitment than not be inspired to be active.

Watching your dd over time, you will get to understand and appreciate the skill she is learning - and control the apprehension. Keep talking to her riding instructor and get advice from them as to how to maximise her safety (which it sounds like you are doing already ).

(BTW: despite what happened to my mum, I still enjoy cycling and encouraged ds to pursue both sports for as long as he was able)