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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think this is cringy?!

47 replies

Timeforachange2018 · 21/04/2018 22:03

Feeling embarrassed about an incident this morning with a school parent Blush
Good friends husband was in a cafe this morning that I was in. He was sitting with his back to cafe so as I was ordering I touched him on the shoulder and said hi. He literally reacted like I had behaved in the most over familiar way ever and it was all really embarrassing but I was just being friendly and have known the family 6 years and been to loads of social events at their house.
I feel really embarrassed but aibu? I was just being sociable but his reaction was of total WTF!
Aibu? I feel really embarrassed now but was honestly just saying hello Confused

OP posts:
mydietstartsmonday · 21/04/2018 22:37

Yep I agree you caught him doing something he shouldn’t. I would text the wife and sAy bumped into x the other day at the cafe.

Ivymaud · 21/04/2018 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerwidow · 21/04/2018 22:42

Maybe rather than him being up to no good you just startled him then he felt silly and acted awkwardly.

shanefolan29 · 21/04/2018 22:42

op, i think you just startled him, he was probably zoned out or tired. Plenty of ppl are like that in the morning, you did nothing wrong and he is the one that should feel embarrassed.

aaarrrggghhhh · 21/04/2018 22:43

Was he looking at porn on his phone?

2andcountingtodate · 21/04/2018 22:46

In the morning? He was probably tired and in his own world and couldnt remember your name.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 21/04/2018 22:47

In fairness you encroached on his personal space,he was startled.thats all

Fruitcorner123 · 21/04/2018 22:51

I agree with others he was doinf something he didnt want you to know about. Maybe meeting someome in secret. It may be something small like fibbing to his partner about being at the gym but he clearly didn't want to see you.

biscuitmillionaire · 21/04/2018 22:52

Who was he with?

Spiggle123 · 21/04/2018 22:57

I don't think you have any reason to feel embarrassed.

In fairness you encroached on his personal space

He was in a café. There is no real personal space in a café.

You made him jump, as they say. If anybody was behaving in an odd way it's him, not you.

DangerEgg · 21/04/2018 22:57

I think he was very rude to make his feelings so apparent.

You did nothing wrong.

Kocerhan3 · 21/04/2018 23:03

@aaarrrggghhhh hahahahahahaaaa

And

Laugh it off, I agree with all the other comments - he's the one who made it awkward, not you. What a loser Wink

NobodysChild · 21/04/2018 23:03

If I were sat minding my own business and 'my good friend's ' husband touched my shoulder, I'd be a bit creeped out. Why couldn't you just say hello, without touching him? Maybe you were being over familiar, as you are his wife's friend and not his.

questionsandquestions · 21/04/2018 23:11

biscuitmillionaire Sat 21-Apr-18 22:52:20
Who was he with?

+1

MNDataBreach · 21/04/2018 23:13

Why touch him?
Why not in the Q, sort of wave in his direction and say Hi John(other names available on request).

wakemeupbefore · 21/04/2018 23:15

I would loathe being grabbed by my shoulder when not expecting anyone. Most daft thing to do, really. He was clearly startled and most annoyed. Don't worry about it though, he's over it, given he's a friend.

GrumbleBumble · 21/04/2018 23:17

Ummmm he probably didn't recognize you and was freaked out by some random touching him in public. I'm totally rubbish at placing people out of context of he is the same he just wouldn't know who the hell you were.

trueblueari · 21/04/2018 23:21

Due to things that have happened in the past I can be very jumpy if someone touches me when I'm not with anyone or expecting it.
A close friend grabbed me from behind jokingly after spotting me walking and I jumped away from them and snapped at them. It wasn't personal, it just scared the absolute shit out of me. So that's a possibility.
However even if that's the case you didn't know and did nothing wrong.
Don't worry about it, and if you're worried he was meeting someone else just text your friend saying something like "bumped into X at the cafe yesterday, I think I startled him, tell him I said sorry!" or something like that.

DrowningEveryDay · 21/04/2018 23:22

Maybe he was in deep thoughts and you startled him.

NoodlesLivesHere · 21/04/2018 23:46

Not everyone likes physical contact. If your friendship as a family extends to hugs when you greet/say farewell I can sort of see why you might be tactile without warning but I do think it's inappropriate just to touch someone uninvited and by surprise.

Even if my closest friend's DH did this to me I'd be very awkward for the rest of the conversation because it would have unsettled me so much. Being a man doesn't make him immune to being startled.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/04/2018 00:01

Being in cafe doesn’t make him public Property.op unwittingly startled him
Op encroached on his space and he reacted. No malice in it from op
And she couldn’t predicted how he’d react

Walkingdeadfangirl · 22/04/2018 00:25

Why touch him up, why not just say hello? I can see why he would be upset, its not ok for men to touch women anymore so likewise its not ok for a woman to touch a man without permission.

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