To think this is emotional abuse of four children and want to report?

[pecannutbutter]

I am going to keep this as brief as possible. My neighbour has a child. I have three. I am a single parent. My neighbour is not and hasn't been in all the time I have known her, because she rapidly moves new boyfriends in, they are invariably abusive towards her, they split, then on to the next.

Over a period of four years I have heard these incidents and altercations and have regularly called the police. Nothing changes. The latest paramour screams and bellows abuse at her and I think her child but cannot be sure, every time he is there. Awful, frightening anger and aggression.

My children have now reached an age where they hear and understand it too and are frightened by it. Apparently though I can do nothing about this because the DV is within that household, it is NOT a safe guarding issue for MY children as they are not part of that household despite the fact that we live in the same block, in close proximity and can hear every word.

This man stalks the communal hall way as he enters and exits and is too aggressive to approach. I'm not afraid of him, dealt with worse than that little shit but cannot tackle him as it would scare my kids. Surely there must be something that can be done about this? The flats are HA if that helps to give a reply. I'm feeling pretty desperate here. I try very hard to keep my children secure, happy and stable but this woman's choices and the subsequent abuse from the men she moves in is undermining that. Is there anything, legally I can do? Is this something SS would get involved in?

Thank you.

Yes, SS would get involved based on her child. Which would benefit her child and your 3.

Every time it happens call the police, each and every time. SS will see the volume of call outs and keep a record. It’s definitely worth calling them.

Sounds awful. I would keep a very detailed diary of every single incident of anything that's even remotely "antisocial" and take it to the housing officer and asked to be moved.

Even if he's just shouting? They will know for a fact it's me as well as there has been friction in the past with her over her previous boyfriends. I'm not that fussed about that but I know he would verbally try to engage me and I don't want that near my children. Thanks for replying.

I could take that to my housing officer. try them first, there are usually clauses in your contract about visitors harassing or intimidating the neighbours.

Surely this would be an issue to approach the HA with in the first instance, rather than SS (with reference to your kids welfare)? They can decide whether he’s creating a noise nuisance.

You could report any concerns you have about her kid’s welfare to SS.

Shouting (as part of a pattern of abuse) is enough to call the police I’d say. Because you know there’s more to it, rather than just a row between a usually calm and happy couple.

I have reported to my HO. He tries to arrange meetings with her but she dodged them and rearranges. This is why I started thinking about other avenues.

Every single incident. Honestly, even if there's a muddy footprint I would be adding that in too. I would also be recording any comments verbatim my own children said about the incidents.

I think what butchyrestingface may be saying is get the HA to put in really effective sound proofing, pronto, walls adjacent to her flat plus adjacent to corridor and the door itself, as well as separately reporting the neighbour's child's welfaire to SS? Good thinking, if so.

Report to the police via 101 every time you hear/see anything abusive or antisocial - obviously 999 if anyone is in direct danger.

You can also access the local social services contact real via your council. It would be helpful if you had the child’s full name and date of birth if possible. They will ‘triage’ the information and decide if they need to do anything about it.

I think what butchyrestingface may be saying is get the HA to put in really effective sound proofing, pronto, walls adjacent to her flat plus adjacent to corridor and the door itself, as well as separately reporting the neighbour's child's welfaire to SS?

Lol, yes, that would be good, if unlikely.

Initially though, I was thinking more along the lines of a shut the fuck up noise abatement order. Which he will doubtless ignore.

Ultimately, eviction.

Oh I see - I am not sure how whether the HA would do it, but I would most certainly push for it (I used to work in a vaguely related area and I know HAs often have or had partnering agreements with companies who would be able to do it without a problem) or it may be an option for you OP if it is feasible in terms of cost and if you needed and got the HA's permission.

Environmental Health would write to her about noise nuisance. If it continued the. They would install noise detection equipment and then they would have proof to pursue her themselves and refer to relevant departments ie SS etc

Keep reporting it. It needs to be on record as much as possible and often needs a certain amount of proof of concern raised before anyone will step in and check. So that's important. Personally I would contact a helping such as NSPCC who'll be able to advise you best as they know what's appropriate, what the next steps are etc

Sorry had issues with last post - helpline I meant, and on consideration NSPCC is more of a charity. Perhaps childline or the like?

Maybe just report to LA that she has a partner living there- I’ll place money on the fact that he isn’t on the tenancy. And then complain to environmental health about noise as well.

All that nspcc do is record the report and copy it to social services. We get about 4 a week at work. We always wish they would ring direct so we can ask questions in context (often the family is known to us).

I write in cp plans often 'must not be exposed to aggression including verbal' it is absolutely a safeguarding concern for the neighbours child

He's definitely not on the tenancy and she is on benefits too and I am sure will not have declared it. I think they'd get round it by saying he's not there full time though. I have already logged one incident with 101 for this bloke and around four/five incidents with her previous man, which were actually 999 calls. THAT particular specimen broke in through the communal doors after she locked him out, more than once. So there is a police record.