AIBU to think that people who post on a thread without reading the OP are arrogant?

[Tankersome]

... as are those who post on a multi-page thread without at least reading the OP's updates.

Not a thread about a thread BUT definitely inspired by my frustration over years of posting on here (under various names) where I've seen this happen.

Sooooooo many posters will not take the time to either read and comprehend an OP but decide to post their opinion anyway (based on what they simply believe the OP to be about). Or they will come on to a ten-page thread and post something in direct response to the initial post, not even bothering to use their common sense and realise that it's quite likely the conversation has moved on a bit.

Fair enough, people don't have the time to read loads and loads of posts. But why the hell would you take the time to respond in the first place when you haven't at least read what the OP has posted???

Absolutely drives me bonkers how arrogant some people can be. They will speak their opinion regardless of whether or not it is relevant.

The OP has posted ten updates since the original post"

Yes this would be helpful, the same way you get the ‘MNHQ have commented’. I always click on that straight away to see if the thread is going to be full of the ‘reported’ brigade before I get invested.

@lidoshuffle And the "don't want to read an run"s.

I always think these are massive virtue signallers. That they are such wonderful people they have to post to point out that they care more quickly than anyone else does.

You will also find them on threads where OP posts an update later on, and they rush in to pretend say how they have been thinking about them all the meanwhile. Although not enough to have posted on the thread until the update, obviously.

Really annoys me,as PP said a post will say ‘we have two dd’s....’ and there will be quite a few posts saying ‘do you have dc?’. Do people just scan posts?

I don't understand all the posters who are saying this is a problem.
You are perfectly allowed to read the OP, scroll down and read 10 or so follow posters, and then post your comment.
So what if many people have already posted the same.
You are perfectly entitled to post your opinion.
Even if it is the same as others.
Is it allowed.

I don't mind the same point being made several times...it gives an idea of how many people might be thinking it. If an OP asks a question and the responses are overwhelmingly in one direction, it doesn't necessarily mean they're right but it's useful information to know it's what most people (on here, at least) appear to think.

If a thread's been going on for a while I might not read it all but I'll scan for the OP's posts. I might miss a detail here and there but I think most of us would.

I really, really hate place marking with nothing but a full stop. I'd rather an anodyne comment.

Other forums (fora?) I use have a "like"/equivalent function. That would be an instant way to show support for a response without having the same thing posted dozens of times.

As for how you get people to stop that idiotic "placemarking" bollocks though, given there are already "watch" and "bookmark" options....

Strange thing Mumsnet. I read a thread. I have an opinion. On the matter, on the subject. And I want to record the fact I have a view.
Nearly every other poster isn't remotely interested in my opinion. But I still choose to post.
Why?
Very odd. When you think about it.

There have been a number of threads about 'like' buttons and I think it's very safe to say that it's been roundly rejected.

And I don't think anyone has a problem with people posting pretty much the same thing. The problem is when the thread has moved on and people haven't checked for key updates.

Sorry to bang on about it, but if you look at the thread I alluded to, is it really fair to think that 'what I have to say about weight matters so much I'll just post it without reading updates or the most recent posts on the thread' Because if they saw that the current conversation was how to tell Dc that Mummy has cancer, perhaps they would not have been moved to post that comment. Especially as the amount removed from Op solved the weight problem anyhow....

Maybe the site should be redesigned like Babycenter so you can just load up OP's posts to read all in one go, instead of having to scroll down everyone elses.

I don't understand all the posters who are saying this is a problem.
You are perfectly allowed to read the OP, scroll down and read 10 or so follow posters, and then post your comment.

But so many people don't even read the op, or don't read it properly - which is what the op said in the op of this thread.

There are times when a thread is fast moving when several people post the same thing more or less at the same time, but you can tell when that's happened by looking at the time on the post.

I hate this. As well as posters who completely miss the point of a thread.
There was a thread a while ago about someone who’d been single a long time and was venting about it. She felt fine normally, but loneliness had kicked in, and was asking if anyone else felt similar.
The very first reply was someone who said “oh no being single has allowed me to blossom I love it” or something like that. How bloody unhelpful is that???

Also v irritating when someone posts about an issue and says they’ve tried x, y, z but they haven’t worked. First reply: “have you tried x?” THE OP SAID SHE HAD AND IT DIDN'T WORK. READ THE POST.
I honestly think these people just read the title, click it and reply without bothering to read the OP. It’s just lazy.

I think it's a bit lazy of you actually, OP, to start a generalised thread about it rather than taking it up on a thread where you see it. (You haven't said that you do so I'm assuming that you don't hence this thread).

I was guilty yesterday of jumping in, posting nonsense to an OP when - if I'd read her posts properly - I would have posted along the same lines as everybody else. I was picked up about it on the thread, posted an apology to the OP there and then messaged her an apology too.

We can all be guilty of mis-posting or some other forum foible at some point. I personally don't like TAATs which this one could easily become as it's lazy/a bit cowardly. I deplore the posters who say shit like 'paragraphs are your friends'; now that's arrogance.

These kind of things don't bother me.
They clearly do to others though.
But I can't see that you are able to control it. So, there's little point getting het up about things you can't control.

Have no idea how these people function in every day conversations

Just fine I imagine, since everyday conversations are not text based, over several pages and days, and involving up to a thousand people at once all talking total shit.

I have no idea how you could compare this to any kind of every day conversations.

"It's actually completely ruining Mumsnet for me. I'd never be so self-absorbed to behave in this way even on an internet forum."

Some people think they know better than others. They see a problem, aren't necessarily fully informed (as they haven't read the thread properly), and think they are the only ones with the answer. They don't care what other posters are saying. It is often about arrogance, but that's life.

Not read the whole thread but have you tried couples counselling OP?

Posters should at least read the OPs posts but sometimes it’s understandable if you end up missing one or two. I’ve done it.

I think a ‘fast forward’ button that takes you to each of the OPs posts would help.

I posted an annotated screen shot of an OPs comment on a thread the other day because Lots off posters weren’t reading the OPs posts and kept hounding the OP to answer a question she had already clearly answered.

I agree that you should be able to select see OP’s posts and updates all together.

Also wish we had a ‘like’ or ‘agree’ button.

I think it's a bit lazy of you actually, OP, to start a generalised thread about it rather than taking it up on a thread where you see it

I've been telling people to RTFT for years - to no avail.

I explicitly told people to read the OP of a recent thread before replying - to no avail.

The people I'm trying to educate are the people who don't see these posts - because they do not RTFT.

I was guilty yesterday of jumping in, posting nonsense to an OP when - if I'd read her posts properly - I would have posted along the same lines as everybody else. I was picked up about it on the thread, posted an apology to the OP there and then messaged her an apology too

Think of the amount of time you wasted when you could have just read the OP of that thread properly in the first place. Can you explain why you didn't? That was the point in this thread - to find out why such people will post on a thread without bothering to understand the OP or read their follow up posts on longer threads.

Well, I think farting anywhere is bad manners........Sorry, wrong thread, I didn't read it.😬

@Oblomov18 it’s not so much posting the same opinions, it’s the posters who don’t read the OP and then ask questions which are already answered in the OP. It’s so unhelpful. And those who don’t read the OPs updates, and on page 10 are still posting answering the AIBU in the title.

Then when the OP gets sick of repeating themselves they get called out for being rude.

Things like cross posts are inevitable, but when you see ‘I have one dc’ ‘do you have any dc’, it’s ridiculous.

Just fine I imagine, since everyday conversations are not text based, over several pages and days, and involving up to a thousand people at once all talking total shit. I have no idea how you could compare this to any kind of every day conversations

I'd assume these types of people also frequently misunderstand someone's spoken words if they struggle so much with written words. They just pick out key words/phrases and base their response on what they think the topic is about.

I'd assume these types of people think they can come into work on a Thursday and expect to pick up a conversation from the exact same spot they left it on Monday.

I'd assume these types of people actually don't engage much in real life, face-to-face conversation as no sane person could put up with that everyday.

Tankersome - how ridiculous.

"These types of people" - we all make errors when typing fast, when interrupted mid post, when on the phone on the bus - whatever. Easy to scroll down to post and not realise that the thread is in fact many pages long - but the "Add you message here" box is at the bottom of the first. And all these peole are arrogant and unable to handle a conversation in the office.???

Just because the thread has moved one way doesn't mean that someone isn't allowed to post another completely different opinion on the subject. (And in the time it has taken me to type this and speak to my son and swig some coffee my own post may be irrelevant! )

(But I am not going to go back to check.)

I'd assume these types of people also frequently misunderstand someone's spoken words if they struggle so much with written words.

I wouldn't assume that. A lot of people skim read on here.