'No presents please'

[Hauskat]

DD is turning 3 and having a party. We are inviting all the kids at her nursery and their parents and siblings as well. I'm aware it will be a madhouse but we are hiring a venue, the party is only 90 mins of our lives and I honestly can't wait to meet everyone!
Thats right meet because other than her BF's parents I don't know any of the other mums and dads. I'm looking forward to it because very few of my friends (okay one of my friends) have kids so DD doesn't have friends for all that fun sharing stuff she so needs. Also while I used to (arrogantly) feel I didn't want 'mummy friends' I'm really excited at the prospect of finding others out there who may or may not have found fragments of a custard cream INSIDE their trouser leg at some point or suffered from mastitis or squared up to the baffling algorithm that is balancing home and career (read: I don't currently have one).
Irrelevant stuff aside the point is I don't know these people, they don't know me or my daughter, would I BU to write 'No presents please' on the invitation? Although I live in a tiny flat I am not at all tat adverse but I hate the idea of anyone having any extra anxiety that might be a barrier to them coming to the party. DD won't be expecting gifts, her actual birthday is the day before and she will have had her fill of them then and I have no bloody intention of opening any on the day itself, I'm sure one or two people will bring one anyway which is lovely but I don't want anyone to feel any kind of obligation.
What would you think if you saw those words on an invitation? Would you call childlike? Assume I only ate kale? Feel more confused? Or actually be quite relieved?

I think you might be slightly over thinking it Yes as I said I'd probably eye roll but it wouldn't put me off going or bringing my child. The no present request is just not a big thing where I am. You usually bring something to any kind of party or get together . You're not going to please everybody anyway. Kids parties at that age aren't the most relaxing for anyone anyway. I didn't know most of the kids the first time my own were invited to their party, even now 3 kids and too many parties later there's a few I couldn't pick out of a line up - that didn't influence whether or not I bought a present.

Thanks, yes over thinking sounds like me!
Thanks everyone, I'll go ahead, the centre I am holding it is volunteer run so I might see if they have a donations box. My numbers on the invite anyway so I suppose anyone really confused could call and ask.

I'd feel a little sorry for the child if I saw this on an invitation to be honest. It's exciting giving and receiving presents!

‘No presents, please’ means ‘no presents, please’.

Why do some people insist on being so self-centred and difficult about this?

It’s a great idea !

I have never took my child to a no presents party and don’t get them . Refuse gifts for yourself .

I agree with the poster who said I like to take something to the host whether dinner or a child’s party.

One thing I will say , my Ds had gifts at that age I would never considered buying him and things I would never of bought he loved.

We went to a three year old's no presents party recently (when I say we I mean my three year old obviously) and they said in the invitation to donate to charity instead. We made donations to two charities that are important to us and wrote an explanation why in the card. It was really nice.

But I don't think anyone would have anxiety about buying a gift - DUPLO is always a safe bet at that age I think.

What about homemade presents only?

We recently got an invite asking for no presents but saying they’d love it if our child your draw a picture for the birthday girl. They were going to get the pictures made into a book for her. I thought it was a lovely idea.

How about requesting no gifts but for them to bring a game to play and share like twister or bat and ball or something. or do a show and tell feature as a game? Hopefully parents are sensible enough to not bring something pricey or fragile etc? Just an idea :)

That does sound really lovely @MsJaneAusten and is probably something she'd treasure forever.

I just saw @MsJaneAusten idea and I love that! Definitely keep them in a little box. Very sentimental

Some people asked me what kind of thing DCs would like by text when they rsvp'd but honestly you are overthinking it. You will soon be used to parties and might even stock up on standard party presents so that you can just grab and wrap before the party. People don't need to spend much on little ones anyway you can get a nice present for under a fiver. Hope the party goes really well.

I think it's mean to say no presents on behalf of your child! They are only small for such a short time and half the fun is opening presents.
I would not turn up to a party empty handed.
Would your child not wonder why she didn't get any presents when she will be going to other party's with a gift?
My dd loves choosing gifts and helping to wrap.

Part of the fun of the party is for the party child to open their stack of presents when they get home.

The last time I remember a thread like this, the overwhelming response was that it was mean, that it would make the guests feel awkward and you shouldn't say no presents when they're not for you, they're for your DD.

What about homemade presents only?

That would piss most of them off I should think (it would me). Lack of time, imagination and talent in my case. I would be worried to death about what to do.

Similar to TipTopTat but Instead of “no presents please” I would say “no present ^needed^ , just bring yourselves!”

I think this should become a thing. A man I work with has 4 kids and as they don't have much money the kids can't attend any parties. It's at least £10 for present and card and with 4 children that would be a lot of money spent of birthday parties that they can't afford. So also their kids don't have parties as they are then afraid the other Mums and Dads will think they are being cheeky by not going to others but expecting people to attend their children's. He says it's all they can think to do. Sad really, especially as others have mentioned that the presents are usually heavily duplicated and not really used or appreciated.

No presents is absolutely fine. Kids nowadays have a ridiculous amount of stuff, it's just sensible.

Please don't say home made presents only, that'd be like a red rag to a bull for me. Time & mental energy are in short supply.

I completely ignore the 'no presents' rule and always get something and it is always appreciated - be it Boots vouchers for my friend on her 40th birthday, a plant for aunt.
I never turn up to someone's house/ event empty handed. Even its a playdate.

I think these make people MORE anxious not less as usual social rule in UK is child’s party = modest gift

I went to one and it was the talk of the playground - not in a mean way - just people trying to get their heads round it. Everyone was trying to work out if it meant no card as well and really nothing present like at all or should be bring a tiny gesture and card or nothing (no card no gift).

All the children attending commented on it during the party - mummy why aren’t we bringing X a present? Why don’t they want any presents? Where are the presents?

I felt uncomfortable turning up without a gift

Said child then came to our party a few weeks later and of course with a gift which didn’t feel nice (as we hadn’t been able to give her one)

Being completely honest I hated it!

My son has been invited to a couple of 4year old birthday parties recently and the invites said no presents please. But that if we wanted to bring something they were collecting books, new or secondhand for the local hospital/ children charity. I really liked that idea and bagged up outgrown or not used good condition books for them. Some parents still bought presents for the birthday child, but most opted for the books.