In thinking discipline must be harder as a single parent

[callies]

Without any sort of back up - do single parents get worn down more easily and likely to give into demands?

Been a tough day today and am wondering

Not nearly as difficult as living with a bastard h who sabotaged all of my efforts to achieve anything.

It can be, as there’s nobody to take over when you’ve had enough or feel like you’re losing it. It’s very tiring and I used to get very fed up sometimes.

On the other hand there’s nobody else here to say opposite things to me.

I would really love to have someone to back me up, but similar to ferris, it's easier that having a total unhelpful twat around who never backed me up anyway.

Yes it is if you especially if you have more than one child.

I like that there is nobody to disagree/question!

Nope. If you’re on your own it’s easier to enforce boundaries as they don’t have another adult to play you off of.

My kids always gets comments about how well behaved they are.

I think it would be easier in some ways than living with a partner who had different ideas about acceptable or unacceptable behaviour. My partner and I don't always agree about how to deal with situations and while we try not to disagree in front of the children, they still pick up on dissent in the ranks!

I agree with others there's no one there to sabotage/ disagree with the approach so I find it easier. Tiring but easier!

No. I'm a single parent of 5 and have no problem enforcing and sticking to rules. It's only easier with a oh if they back you up. Plenty of families I know don't back each other's decisions/choices etc and the kids see the weak links and act up a lot.

If you are able to discipline consistently it's better as a single parent as there's no one there to say the exact opposite 😔☹😠

No, it's far easier now that I can parent sensibly instead of having to manage an H whose idea of discipline is stuck firmly in the 1950s.

It’s easier in some respects. Harder in others. No-one to back you up or take over if you’re at the end of your tether but also, no-one for kids to play off against each other and give conflicting messages etc.

I was a single parent for about 4 years, I definitely found it harder alone as there was no one to back you up, plus at times it can feel relentless especially when having a bad days there's no one to take over and support you. Much easier now as my partner backs me up, my son is largely well behaved so no big issues but it's always nice. Also nice to have someone to balance you out, I'm a 'softer' parent and sometimes it's good to have my partner around who is slightly firmer than me.

Yes, it's snowballed to being even harder after a decade. They won't do anything for love nor money. However I have no back up and no time off (maybe one night a year) so I'm mentally and physically exhausted and not in a good place to keep on top of things. It might be easier if I had a break every so often.

However it is nice to not have another parent contradicting me. What I say, goes even though they ignore me.

Sometimes.

Harder because you can't pass the baton when you need respite. Harder because there is no one to reassure you when the going gets tough. Harder because there is no one to back you up when the child needs to push those boundaries and you are tired or doubting yourself.

But not necessarily harder than trying to co-parent with someone who does none of these things and just makes it worse by implying to the children that you are a rubbish mum.

It's harder because there is no break from it , no one is coming to take over ever, you just have to keep going.

On the other hand as pp have said there is no one to sabotage you and make it all worse.

Well, as a LP who's just spent the afternoon with a married couple who believe in unconditional parenting and their demon spawn delightful angels, I would say no, no, no .

Very hard - especially if they are teenagers. I used to go to work for a rest, felt like every day was a battle

Im sure it is easier to have two parents on the same page when it comes to child rearing.

Well no its not really. I mean I'm just speaking as I find, here. However it was only my rules. I disn't have someone else there undermining me.

my DH has very different parenting style to me and when he is around the kids are more challenging and less helpful than when he is on one of his 4 months abroad stints.

But despite that I think it must be harder for a single parent as I have someone to have a moan about it with and although I don't agree with the way DH does things he is essentially on the same side as me, just with a worse technique

Sometimes it is. I've been a single parent for 4 years. I do have a good relationship with exh though and he's very much involved in DS's life so I do have someone to call on and discuss any issues. I am a bit softer on DS than exh who is more of a disciplinarian.

There is also the issue of one parent working away from home.
Stay at home parent does the day to day stuff including rule enforcing.
The other parent returns home completely
oblivious to what's goes on a daily basis.
Seems to have forgotten how the household functions.
just gets the hang of it again and then returns to work.

I’ve never had a problem, firm boundaries, clear instructions and age appropriate explanations worked best for me
I think if exDH had not left me for OW we would have radically disagreed over discipline
As it was he tried to play Disney Dad but it didn’t work
He helped bring up DC of OW who were not particularly well behaved - unbelievably he asked my advice on how to make them more like our DC, he didn’t like the answer!

I think discipline as a single parent is easier as it’s your rules and no one else’s. Often the problem couples is conflicting ideals and the kids spit that a mile off.