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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset over no leaving present?

17 replies

Summer891 · 21/04/2018 13:40

So I was made redundant this week. I (and everyone in the office) knew it was coming, but it has now been made formal.

I was the only one to be made redundant so it’s been really crap and horrible. But in times like this we really learn who our friends are. I have been there for years and didn’t even get a leaving present. When others leave they have received lots of things, but my colleagues didn’t bother.

They also went on a night out on my last day. This upset me as I feel they could have done that another time. AIBU?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/04/2018 13:53

No you're not being unreasonable.
It's completely understandable that you feel agrieved. I think anyone would do.

Also they could have invited you on their night out.

Why are you the only one facing redundancy. Where you the last one.

Original poster
Summer891 · 21/04/2018 13:57

@Awwlookatmybabyspider it’s a weird situation. My boss says I have a different job title to everyone else, even though what we did was pretty much the same in reality. I think the company just see it as an easy dismissal.

OP posts:
HeyDolly · 21/04/2018 14:04

Nobody in my workplace buys colleagues leaving presents if they are made compulsory redundant. They do if they take VR or resign but not for CR. Not sure why, it just seems to be some unspoken and unexplained etiquette.

Hope you find a new job soon. Flowers

Phosphorus · 21/04/2018 14:09

I think it would be a bit odd for them to make a fuss of someone leaving under your circumstances.

No matter how they go about it, there'd always be can air of 'we know you don't want to leave, but thank God it's you and not us'.

As they are not friends of yours, just colleagues, they are probably trying to avoid anything embarrassing/upsetting for you.

ziggiestardust · 21/04/2018 14:13

I would feel awkward buying someone who was leaving under compulsory redundancy a leaving gift actually. Almost like ‘sorry you lost your job... but these flowers make up for it!’
I don’t know.
But if that was me, and we were friends; I would have looked at clubbing together to take you out for a meal instead.

ourkidmolly · 21/04/2018 14:19

I think you're more deserving of a goodbye pressie if it's CV! You haven't been dismissed for unprofessional conduct etc.

Ninjamilo · 21/04/2018 14:22

In my office anyone made redundant gets a card but not a present - the unwritten thinking is that they're getting a payout so can buy their own 🙈

greenlanes · 21/04/2018 14:27

Didnt you already post about this last week and get lots of support?

mirage937 · 21/04/2018 14:32

greenlane i thought there was something similar last week too but wasnt sure if i was imagining things !

purplelila2 · 21/04/2018 14:59

I think YABU to expect a present.
Where I work if it's someone voluntarily leaving then they get a card and gift, they don't for redundancies.

They aren't your friends they were your colleagues

Hope you find another job soon.

purplelila2 · 21/04/2018 15:00

And you've left now and never have to see them again so sod the lot of em, they aren't worth it. And stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Crinkle77 · 21/04/2018 15:04

ninjamilo they may get a pay out but it could be months before they get another job. That pay out had got to pay the bills. It's not like a bonus.

Anyway I'm i don't think yabu. I would be upset too. Have you always got on with them before?

Original poster
Summer891 · 21/04/2018 15:10

Before all this they were not just colleagues, we were what I would count as friends. We went out together, chatted outside work and messaged each other on social media.

And my redundant payout is pitiful, I only Received statutory redundancy and it won’t go far at all.

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 21/04/2018 15:15

They also went on a night out on my last day.

What? Without you?!!!! Bastards. You are well rid of the miserable bleeders.

DianaT1969 · 21/04/2018 15:29

Did you usually go out with them? Were you invited, or they kept it secret?
Were you absent from your job a lot, or do less than them? Although friendly before your redundancy, they might have resented carrying the extra workload. Not saying that's true in your case at all. It happened in my last office. Or perhaps they found it awkward as a previous poster said. When the dust settles maybe you'll feel like they are friends again. But I'd let it go on the leaving gift... life is too short.

ChevalierTialys · 21/04/2018 15:37

I hear ya.

Last year, I left a job of 10 years. Didn't even get a card. Would have considered a good few of them friends until then.

It's hurtful but at least now you know what they are, and you never have to see any of those inconsiderate gits again.

Angrybird345 · 21/04/2018 15:54

Did you get advice from ACAS about the redundancy?

Your colleagues are nasty.

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