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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get this negativity out of my life?

10 replies

Spawnofthedevilapparently1 · 21/04/2018 10:47

In desperate need to vent & get advice please.
I’ve lived with my lovely partner for 11 years. We both come from large families (he only has two sisters one older one younger) his large family is made up of lots of aunts uncles and cousins so always lots going on and in our neighbourhood. Me or my partner are not on Facebook nor are we in any of the cliques that are prevalent. We also don’t have children so not involved at the community centre where all the invites are talked about or dished out. For about the last 8/9 years we are getting totally blanked when it comes to invitations to events and parties that we expected to be invited to and weren’t but we get on great with everyone. When it first started I began to suspect something shitty was going on, so I asked an old friend/neighbour who I’ve been really good to, why we weren’t asked to her wee ones communion and she said of course you were I gave xxxx your invitation as I was handing some out to the other mums at community centre and she xxxx said she’ll be going to her parents later and she’d either pop it through our door as she has to pass to get to parents 2 doors away or she’ll leave it in their house as my partner (her younger brother) is there every day tending to them. When I asked her about it she does this thing whenever anyone pulls her up on anything we’re she pretends she’s so forgetful or 3yrs old and try’s to act all cutesy and giggles whatmylike? She’s 50years old and wasn’t even cute as a baby. There’s loads of rotten things and we’ve literally caught her, as she stood speaking to one of her friends we happened to be there and we started chatting to the friend as we do, when friend says I’ll see yous Saturday then? for daughters 21st? I said we’d no idea about it and she says to partners sister I thought you said you’d given the invite weeks ago? Her face was beetroot but again the whatmylike shit. Anyway one of partners cousins husband)had a 40th about 6/7 weeks ago. We found out only due to a slip up by an auntie 2/3 weeks after the party! Most of partners family are spread over the city and the invite was on Facebook obviously unbeknown to us. This particular cousin is a brilliant lassie and knows we’re not on Facebook we know for a fact now she specifically asked his sisters to let us know. So gutted that even his mother and father who he tends to 7 days a week kept it secret from us as well. I’ve not been back in to his parents house since and I’ve managed to avoid the sisters and nasty(adult)niece so far but it’s making me feel sick enough to want to leave my partner just to take myself out of the picture.

OP posts:
coconuttella · 21/04/2018 13:07

I’m guessing you live in a working class community with life very much centring around the geographical location of where you and your friends, families and extended families have lived for years by the sounds of things.

Either you forge a life outside of that getting involved in clubs, hobbies, volunteering and developing your own social circle, or you make more of an effort to get involved in your local community by going to the community centre that seems to be the local social hub and getting onto Facebook and into the local groups where news is spread. And also if you’re not in these friendship cliques, why would you expect to be invited? You have make the effort here.

Spawnofthedevilapparently1 · 21/04/2018 13:39

Your absolutely spot on coconuttela with regards to my environment, I do have my own social life with my own family to which my partner is always included, the area is also very friendly and most people include everyone when it comes to parties etc. My point is the sisters of my partner have been deliberately taking invites on our behalf and not letting us know about them x

OP posts:
Goandplay · 21/04/2018 13:44

I understand what you’re saying about leaving the otherwise good relationship because you just don’t want to deal with this buzzard behaviour.
That would be cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Do you get on with the sister?

mickeysminnie · 21/04/2018 13:47

Do you not have a phone? Why would you not just ask people to text you if there is an invitation?
How did it take you 8/9 years to figure out if you all live in the same area?

GabriellaMontez · 21/04/2018 13:54

What does your partner think?

Do you have any idea why they're doing it?

Devilishpyjamas · 21/04/2018 13:54

I doubt they’re doing it deliberately. They probably just forget.

Join Facebook. Problem solved.

coconuttella · 21/04/2018 18:24

Join Facebook. Problem solved.

Yes, surely it’s that simple. Also, isn’t it a bit odd to give invitations to big events simply by word of mouth?

Manyfridays · 21/04/2018 18:59

Stop being a passive victim - join facebook it doesnt bite

Eliza9917 · 21/04/2018 19:46

Ask the sil outright whys he's doing this, and join Facebook. Simple.

Eliza9917 · 21/04/2018 19:47

*she's

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