To not want another child?

[Motherofpooch]

So after I had a baby I was pretty sure I wanted another. Having sisters myself I loved the idea of my little one having siblings.
But the more time I spend with my baby, though enjoyable and lovely, the more I worry about having another. I worry about not loving the next the same way or bonding, the pregnancy or birth would be worse (had an awful experience firstly too!) Among many many other worries... it's caused me to not want another. My husband doesn't mind either way but I feel so so guilty about it. I don't even know why.... And I talked to a friend about it and they said I was being very selfish not giving my child a sibling because i was a little scared...
Am I being unreasonable to be so worried?? X

[schmoozypoo]

I had a horrific experience with my first baby, 16 hours if awful labour, Emergency c-section, long recovery. I thought I never wanted to do it again. My son got to 5 or 6 and I started to think I could do it again. My boys have a 7 year age gap and my labour was totally different- short, natural and a world apart from my first. Give yourself time to enjoy your little one and you will make the right decision for yourself and your family. You are not selfish either way- not every child needs a sibling

[Ivebeenaroundtheblock]

Nothing wrong with being an only child, no guarantees they will like each other. Do you come from a big family, lots of cousins for your child?

[gamerwidow]

Ive only got one. We did plan two but dd was such a challenging baby I couldn't have another. She's nearly 8 and I wouldn't change a thing I love having only one.

[Aquamarine1029]

Your friend is an asshole. I am an only child and I had a wonderful childhood. I have two children myself, and the only thing I think you're unnecessarily worried about is loving another child as much as your first. Trust me, you would! However, if you want to stop with one child, then that is what you should do.

[WhiteVixen]

We've been trying to give our now-6 year old daughter a sibling for four years. One miscarriage and a few chemical pregnancies later, I'm now 37 and thinking it's never going to happen. I do hope no one ever tries to accuse me of being selfish for not giving her a sibling.

Having one child has its advantages. Do what works best for you as a family, don't mind what others say you 'should' do.

[PumpkinPie2016]

We only have one. I had an ok pregnancy but a horrific birth experience and DS wasn't an easy baby. So, we decided no more.

He's 4.5 now and going to school this year and I can honestly say I am totally happy with the decision. He's great and things are easier now that he is older and a bit more independent.

I do ensure I make an effort to ensure he does things with other kids e.g. swimming lessons, messy church, meeting up with his cousins etc. He has lots of friends at preschool and seems to get a lot of party invites so I don't think he's lonely.

Nothing wrong with only having one!

[InThisTogether]

As an only child myself, before he was born I was adamant that DS would not be an 'only' (both mine and DH's parents are dead and I didn't want him to have such a small family as me). but I'm starting to feel less and less like I'd want another, for a fair few reasons. You're not on your own feeling this way OP. And there's nothing wrong with being content with your lot! 😊

[Fruitcorner123]

You're not being selfish and your friend was totally out of order to say that. I would only say that you should make sure you are making the decision for the right reasons and not only out of fear. Second labours are usually easier than first labours and you will love a second baby as much, honest. The chance of your fears on these two things being realised is very slim.

However if you don't want a second baby that is fine. Plenty of children are only children and are fine.

[Catsrawesome]

I’m an only child and loved it! Not all siblings get along, just read some of the sibling threads on MN.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

It's not selfish to just have one child. BUT every woman experiences the "how can I love this baby like my first". I didn't enjoy my second pregnancy purely because of this worry. However, you'd be surprised how easily it comes!