Home education

[Chortlesauraus]

Inspired by another thread but......AIBU to think that home schooling is a bit weird and the people that go down that route can sometimes be a little strange themselves?

I can't even really put my finger on why I find it all so odd....but maybe I'm missing something that home schoolers can enlighten me about

I always get the sense that people who home school are cut from the same cloth as Steiner School enthusiasts.....but that's just me casting wild aspersions 😆

You think that people who home school are 'struggling' then?

The ones who are forced into HE because their child's school failed them? Quite possibly. I was specifically referring to families with SEN children who weren't getting support from the school which then forced their hand into choosing home ed.

In terms of safeguarding, it is worth noting that an awful lot of abused children go to school every day and slip through various nets.

I'm half expecting to be HE at some point for my HF ASD child. I'm not the things you describe as 'strange'. I suspect I will be driven slightly mad by HE though.

I have to home educate because my child has significant additional needs and was assaulted by a teacher in Year 3 of primary school. I know many similar stories in our home ed circle. I know others who didn't get a school place at all and had to home ed in the meantime and ended up just carrying on as it worked for them. I know another woman whose husband is stuntman - yes really - and so the family travel around a lot while the Dad is working on movies all over the world and the mum home educates, I know two well known celebrities that you most likely would all have heard of who home educate because they truly believe it's the best option for their child, I know a famous musician who home educates his son because his son just couldn't cope in school.

"People who home educate are a bit weird aren't they?" posts like this just sound a bit dim and ignorant tbh.

I’ve so many reasons. Could be here a while!

Class sizes too big - 33 kids to one teacher.
Kids weren’t enjoying school
I believe I can do a better job than the teachers
They are young for such a short amount of time and I don’t want to miss out on it
Fits better with my DH work
We can travel whenever we want
My kids can learn what they want to learn about and learn in a way that suits them

We’ve had issues at school for instance where my DD was told by some kids (aged 8) that she couldn’t sit with them at lunch because she wasn’t catholic. Or my 4 year old was blocked from the toilet by kids 3 and 4 years older than him when he just started and they attacked him and he peed himself. Those kids missed on playtime as a punishment.

I also know the things I got up to at high school and my friends too, drugs, smoking, sex, etc. All on school grounds! I only partook in the smoking but still not the best I know!

I want so much better for my kids, so much.

My friends daughter is at uni now, she left high school at 13 as the school told her they wouldn’t be able to get her into medicine, for those kinds of results she would need to pay for tutors or go private. My friend took her out and they did it all at home, including getting the results she needed to get into uni. She’s a smart girl (obviously) but the local schools just weren’t enough.

Just because someone does something not so mainstream, doesn’t mean they are strange.

Yes I think perhaps my use of the word 'weird' is more representative of a worry that the lack observation of home educated children could represent a risk

It's outrageous that anybody with a non NT child should be pushed into making that choice based on a lack of local authority provision, however I am aware that happens and it must be really difficult

As a previous poster said, there's something about home ed and extreme religious or alternative beliefs that just does not sit comfortably with me

My only experience of people who have done HE has been that they are odd, yes. That doesn’t mean I think everyone who does it is though and I can see why when you look at the state of school funding etc. I am however staggered at how unregulated it all seems. My uncle pulled my cousin out of school, he’s not ever been formally diagnosed with anything but certainly displays traits of Aspergers. He struggled with school but they followed no ‘proper’ education plan at home, he basically did what the hell he liked all day. Same for another family I know, child played video games all day. How can they justify it? Didn’t seem to be any vigorous inspection.

What's "normal" then, op? School for 15 years, uni, office job, two weeks abroad every year, going out at the weekend, work work work, get married, have 2 DC, retire, etc etc?

Not to sound flippant but come on! There's as many ways to live life as there are people. What is normal?

It strikes me that you would need A LOT of energy to do it. I admire people who manage it.
I was considering it for my son but our local primary is literally just outside my house and is very relaxed and friendly. Only has 60 pupils and no uniform. Got a good ofstead report. Seems a very chilled place.

So I thought hed probably get more out of going there socially than I could provide him at home.

I worry about secondary but there is a flexi school near us which might be a good idea if my DS wants that come that age.

I had a terrible time in mainstream school so am hoping to avoid that for DS. Would take him out the second I start to see any of the anxiety I experienced because it severely negatively effected the whole of the rest of my life really.

Of course he may be completely fine and love mainstream school!

perfectly the three that you know wouldn’t make very good television :)

There are loads of different people who home school their children and loads of different styles of doing it. I think it's a nice idea but I would definitely struggle. I have dc who have sn and the only break I get is when they are at school. In the holidays they are full on from 7am until 10pm and i just couldn't do that all the time.

Grandma school and the LA couldn't wait to see the back of my son, the glee when I finally removed him was almost palpable. Interestingly, I accept the visits and sent work to the LA and meet with them in my home annually like a good cooperative little home edder. One year we didn't hear from them at all. I emailed them a couple of times and heard nothing. We didn't hear from them for a further three years and when finally they rediscovered him - down the back of a filing cabinet probably - they sent me a letter getting his age wrong, three years younger and making threats about further action that could be taken if I didn't engage with the LA. It was most satisfactory to send copies of the emails I had sent them over the preceding years.

I agree with the comment about going again social norms. My DD will be 5 in August, she 'should' be in reception at the moment but I applied for her to start reception at 5, if I hadn't got an agreement & had to start her in year 1 I would of home educated. I'm the least weird person ever, this is the first time I've ever gone against the norm in my life & it feels quite good!!

@Babyplaymat well quite, so if the 'seen' children slip through then what of those who aren't even on the school radar in the first place? There is potential for an unregulated system to be exploited to the detriment of children's welfare is there not?

We home ed and we're totally normal.

We often keep it to ourselves though, as people have this attitude that we're all weird or hiding abuse or something

Heismyopendoor

Exactly. They are all pretty 'normal' people, if there is such a thing. I always feel uncomfortable watching tv programmes like that. It's like they are exploiting the people on it, which is even worse when it is children. But I suppose it makes people watch and comment....and then threads like this are made. I personally think most people are a bit 'weird' in their own way. 😂

My best friend at school was home educated till GCSEs , DS's best friend home educated till near secondary school.Nothing "weird" about them e.g. no strong religious views/ amber beads / non vaccination views.

Tellertuesday I agree children start school way too young. Have a few friends and relatives who are experienced primary teachers and they all agree. Would love my dd to have a less formal start to education but I do worry about being ‘non conformist’ and certainly the parents I know who are doing ot now definitely fit that description. I never thoguht I’d be the sort of person who would consider HE but the thought has flashed through my mind about delaying school start. I think it hugely depends on the parents dedication to doing it properly thoguh.

Msgameandwatching so you think if a child is ‘troublesome’ at school they are simply happy to let you go and leave you to it? Quite possible!

We home ed. I don't think we are weird. But then I'm not sure what you mean by weird!

Something that I have noticed since we started 2 and a half years ago, is that lots and lots of people who home ed do so because schools have failed to provide a suitable or safe education for their children either because of SEN or bullying. It is the last resort for lots of families.

Lots of kids who are home ed would be considered 'weird' if they were at school too. It is one of the reasons why school hasn't worked. It's not that the home ed has made them weird!

We are unusual in that sense, I suppose. We do it because I wanted to make the most of their childhood. We loved the school holidays and began to wonder what it would be like if we could feel like that all the time. We like spending lots of time together. The kids are happier without the pressure of school, homework and tests. They enjoy learning at home and it is no longer a battle. Their confidence has grown and grown. Everyone is more relaxed. We are all so much happier. Life has slowed down and it is wonderful to not have that Sunday evening sinking feeling.

I refuse to get into the whole socialisation thing except to say that forced association is not socialisation. Forcing kids to spend time with the same kids and adults every day is not a superior way of parenting or educating. My children mix with all sorts of people. They are confident, curious and caring.

I will admit to having some concerns about how little we are checked on. All I have to do is submit a report by email once a year. No one comes to our home or calls us. No one offers any support at all. I do worry about how some children might be overlooked. But then, lots of children are overlooked in schools too!

They certainly were with us. Four years of attempting to force my square autistic child into the round hole of school took a toll on everyone involved I think. Mostly him In his last year he was routinely signed off school by our GP, pretty much no questions asked, every three weeks for months on end. No one was coping with that situation and I was just so glad we had a no nonsense GP who was happy to do what he needed. There was no route left to take, we had tried everything. I think they were grateful I finally said enough is enough.

My two were home educated and the accusation most commonly thrown at my eldest now she's a grown up (early 20s) is "but you're so NORMAL!" 😆

Younger daughter is more quirky, I guess, but is enjoying 6th form college and off to do a Physics degree in the autumn, so home ed hasn't held her back. In fact, probably quite the opposite.

As a parent who home educated, am I normal? I always thought I was pretty mainstream, but my friends did comment that if anyone in our friendship group was going to do something like that, it was going to be me. I guess I've never really cared if I'm not following the crowd, and I wanted my children to grow up thinking for themselves. One thing I really notice with my DDs home educated friends us that they are all very independent thinkers, so the idea of children being brainwashed by their parents has very little foundation in reality in my experience.

Both girls say it was the best thing I ever did for them. This is good to hear as, of course, we all only do what we think best for our children at the time.

I understand HE, I did it briefly with our eldest (6 months), however having trained within Steiner education I’m always shocked about the amount of parents that pick Steiner education without really knowing or understanding the full Steiner ethos or anthroposophy. I’m speaking as someone who has a lot of background and frankly a lot of it is very disturbing. Yet so many don’t know.

I know a lot if people who were home schooled. All fairly normal. I would choose to home school over send my children to a state school. We all want our children to have a good education. In many areas patents can provide a better education than schools.

I haven't got any personal
Experience but our neighbours home schooled their son until he was 11 then sent him to secondary school.

The result - disaster as he'd never experienced a structured school day he found it really really hard to adjust and was used to basically a load of lovely recreational activities. He's a bright boy and academically didn't struggle but did socially but my neighbours said as he was coming up to GCSEs they felt it was time to change.

This made them change their mind about his 7 year old sister they sent her to school at 8 and she adjusted much better as she had the opportunity to develop friendship groups with school friends before secondary.

I get on really well with my neighbour and she said to be honest, it's not an easy option - she hasn't been able to work and earn and all the activities cost money whereas state education is free and she said if as they get older it is more challenging.

My neighbours aren't weird at all - they're lovely parents and just made that choice. It's important not to judge people and different educational methods suit different kids.