Saving seats when a venue is full.

[user1485342611]

I went with a friend to an outdoor play last night. There were several rows of chairs, and then some uncomfortable benches with no back. It was all organised on a 'first come, first served' basis.

We arrived a good twenty minutes before the play and there were lots of empty seats scattered around. But every time we approached them someone would say 'oh no, they're saved', or there would be jackets and cardigans thrown across them.

Eventually my friend just said, politely, "I'm sorry but there's no other free seats" and we just sat down on two empty ones. We then had to put up with dirty stares, which were repeated during the interval along with loud comments to their friends "well we tried to save you seats, but as you can see..." followed by eye rolling in our direction.

WWBU?

You should have asked people to move the cardigans or coats before taking seats meant for people tbh.

I’m with you OP. Tough titties, you either arrive early and get a seat or you miss out. You were there before the people that seats were saved for so that’s their loss

Yeah thats annoying alright if you went to the trouble of getting there early

Mightymucks. The cardigans and jackets were being used to 'save' seats for people arriving later.

I got my food in an Asda cafe the other week, all the tables were taken except one which was empty save a coat in the middle of the table.
I asked the next table whose coat it was, they had no idea, so I put the coat on a nearby trolley and sat at the table to eat with my DCs.
A full 15 minutes later, an irate lady asked what right I had to touch her stuff.
Cool as a cucumber, I replied "I asked people nearby, and it seemed to be abandoned. You can't just dump your stuff, you're lucky I put it safely on that trolley, anyone could have taken it."
She humphed off to a different table and shot me evils until we finished up and left.
I'm not even sorry, she wasn't even in the queue when we sat down!

I think 20mins is quite late to turn up to an outdoor play. I would expect to get there much earlier to grab a good location.
But there again all the outdoor things I go to are bring your own chairs and turn up early with a picnic, so maybe your event was different.

I don't do seat saving and I don't respect seat saving.

It's ridiculous you send in one person and they save 10 seats for people that can't be arsed to show up on time.

I think 20 minutes before when seats aren’t allocated you have to take what’s left.

What if those people had just gone to the toilet or bar?

The classic answer in Yorkshire is "It's bums what keeps seats, not coats."

If it was a group of 7 saving an additional seat I'd think that was ok and assume one person had something come up that made them late.
If one or two people saving 2 or more seats do half the group can turn up at the last minute then I'd think they were taking the piss.

I'm in two minds about this one. One person reserving a long row of seats for others is clearly not on. However, in the past when dc were little DH has turned up somewhere early to get good seats where they'd be able to see whilst I've taken the dc to run around a bit outside.

There was the memorable school carol service where a friend and I had saved a single seat between us for her dh who was running late. There were actually lots of seats free just with less good views. Didn't stop one mum insist that she was going to sit in the spare seat. My friend reluctantly moved up to sit in the seat next to me but this mum was so determined to sit in that seat she sat on her lap.....

I would have done exactly the same as you.

I have a bad back and couldn't have sat on the benches in any degree of comfort though so it would have utterly ruined the play.

Seat saving really pisses me off. At school plays at my DCs school some people reserve whole rows of seats for their family/friends/neighbour's dog. It's selfish.

I actually think the venue or outdoor play organizers should do the same as the cinemas and prebook seats that way those left to sit on a bench can decide if its worth paying for, alternatively they should provide enough seating for everyone

i think it's ok to save ONE seat, but anymore is just not on.

I agree that saving a seat for a late arrived who is in your group is ok but saving lots of seats for various friends isn’t. I would have done the same.

Arrival not arrived

I agree: seat saved is acceptable, any more, not acceptable. People are so selfish.

I ended up leaving an event before now because somebody just plonked themselves into a seat I was saving, so I can seethe flip side of this too. We had the pram with us, and there are limited places where you can sit with the pram, so we made sure to turn up in plenty of time to get a space where we could have DS in the pram next to us rather than have to collapse and stow it, and have him in one of our laps (he was due a nap at that time, so would have slept through the majority of it in his pram, but not in our lap). OH went to the toilet before the performance started, leaving his jacket on the chair where he'd put it when we sat down. Two women come along shortly after, remove his coat and sit themselves down. I explained that somebody was sitting there, and received a very rude response to do with the invisible man. There wasn't anywhere else we could have sat together, so we left. We'venever booked anything without allocated seating since!

I went to a sold out Fringe show and a woman saved the entire five seats at the front of a section, then just before the show started she realised her four mates were on the sodding balcony, so some Johnny Come Latelys got really good seats thirty seconds before the show started!
This was three years ago... luckily I've almost let it go now

yeah, dunno. sounds TBH like both of you were being more or less reasonable, this is just a natural thing to happen where there's a grey area in etiquette.

as others have said, the case for reserving seats for others becomes more reasonable: (a) the smaller the number of reserved seats compared to occupied seats by members of that party; (b) the closer it is to kickoff time; (c) the more empty seats there are elsewhere; (d) etc.

I don't have a problem with someone arriving early and trying to keep a couple of seats beside her for friends who haven't arrived yet.

But I think it's a bit like putting your bag on the seat beside you in the bus. Fine if there's loads of empty seats available, but once the bus starts to fill up and people are looking for seats you have to relinquish it.

Reserving seats is crap. I would have done exactly as you did.

At a play where people are going to be arriving soon (in time for the start) it's very common and I think you were unreasonable. If your frined had gone to the bathroom, would you be crying foul if a massive guy had plonked himself down next to you?

I hate seat saving.

Turned up for dd8's concert carrying a sleepy dd2 and walking dn2. Found one seat free and went to sit down and was informed it was saved for someone who wasnt there yet!! Asked them to repeat themselves. They obviously saw the slightly crazy look in my eyes as they smiled and told me not to worry. I obviously didnt and sat down with a toddler on each knee