Cheeky message from cleaner

[EllJ]

I recently hired a cleaner to do a good clean of the bathrooms and a general hoover and dust round. She seemed nice enough and I thought she seemed trustworthy so we agreed to start her.
We had nothing but problems from the get go... she couldn't work the hoover, couldn't work the steam mop (despite being shown both more than once), didn't move things out of the way to hoover or dust around and just seemed to find a new problem each week. One week, the bathrooms were ignored completely as she "forgot her gloves", despite being told they were our absolute number 1 priority and that she just had to ask for any cleaning materials she wanted/needed.
Anyway, after giving it three weeks in the hope she'd settle in and then receiving a particularly cheeky note after the last clean, we decided not to continue with her. My DH sent a polite and to the point message explaining that we won't need her anymore and can she please return our key.
She has just sent back an incredibly rude message insulting the cleanliness of our home! I'm absolutely fuming and having to really hold back sending a rude message in return, which i know is the wrong thing to do.
Aibu to ask if anyone can help with a well worded message to send in return explaining that the specific items she has complained about being dirty were actually things we were paying her to clean!

Sorry for long post

'Go fuck yourself you useless, dim-witted skank'.

After you get your key.

I hope the agency don’t give her any more work!

I’m a cleaner and don’t actually wear gloves unless someone has been ill or it’s very grotty (more trouble than they’re worth and I’m very careful with hand washing and hygiene) but, if I got to a job and had forgotten something, I’d go home and get it and add the time I’d wasted onto the end of the clean. Isn’t that what most people would do?

As for operating a vacuum cleaner - not rocket science is it!!!

We aren’t all like that thankfully! Good luck with the hunt for a better cleaner.

Just get the key back, change the barrel and don't engage. Someone as numpty and nasty as this could take a brick to your window.

I'm so disappointed in this thread.
I skip read and thought it said you got a cheeky mAssage from cleaner

Get the key back before you send any message.

This

I sympathize op. Good cleaners are like gold dust. I've got rid of 3 in a row, as they were all incapable of doing a decent job (cleaning a house to a reasonable standard, and not causing damage)

I think you are doing the right thing by not engaging with her, and getting the agency to manage her. That is what you are paying them for after all!

@HisBetterHalf brilliant. Now you mention it my shoulders are a little tense

@He11y I really wanted to give her a chance to do well, I hoped we'd find a good egg straight away. I could have cried when I got home and realised we'd paid for her NOT to do the bathrooms, especially since we'd been so clear that she should just let us know what she needed.

I don't wear gloves either unless as He11 says its really manky. I wash my hands very well.

I hired a cleaner when I was pregnant as I was so ill with morning sickness I wasn't getting any cleaning done. She delighted in telling me how dirty my house was and actually showing me the cloth she used and all the dust on it! Rude. I got rid of her after this. I knew my house needed a good clean hence hiring her in the first place!

Definitely get the key back first. In these kind of situations, I like to go with something that can be interpreted in two ways e.g. "Good luck finding a new job" - which I know I mean sarcastically, but if anyone challenged me I can say that I meant it in a really positive and kind way.

"Yes, we're unhappy with the cleanliness level of our home, too. Our cleaner has failed miserably at doing her job. Can you recommend someone good?"

I'm pissing myself at the thought of cleaners being arsey about dirty houses. After all, if you had a clean house, you wouldn't need the bloody cleaner, would you?

the agency are aware, have spoken to her, and will facilitate the return of the key and any communication going forward

If the agency really have spoken to her - which IME is by no means a given - you're now the "dirty rotten sneak" who ratted on her to her boss (not that you are of course, but that's how she'll probably see it)

In which case, while I agree about not engaging, I agree even more about changing the locks

Some people just aren’t cut out for that job (which is fine and no reflection on them) but to be rude about the cleanliness of your house which she is supposed to be cleaning strikes me as rude, stupid and biting the hand that feeds!

We once had to rent a short let flat and it was filthy. I am talking solid brown loo under the water line etc. I set to and cleaned like a maniac (heavily pregnant and I hate cleaning!) and the agency sent back the cleaner they had used. She looked entirely non-plussed at what I was saying eg when you spray oven cleaner into the oven, you are supposed to wipe it up again and not just leave white spray sitting everywhere!!

Anyway, serious complaint to the agency and change the locks. She sounds awful!

If I were you, I would kick up a HUGE fuss with the agency. Not only did they send you a cleaner who DID NOT DO THE WORK REQUIRED - not doing the bathrooms!?!?! For real? Hello - REFUND!!!! But they also employ someone who has been downright rude to you. I would insist on knowing what disciplinary actions have been taken, and on a refund for the two weeks she didn't do the job. Honestly - they will hopefully take it out of her wages and that's the best revenge. I know it sounds petty but I hate people who behave like this.

I don't wear gloves either unless as He11 says its really manky. I wash my hands very well.

But if you did insist on using gloves, you’d make sure you had some with you. Because that’s the basics of the job.

I once tried an English tutor for DS1 (who was utterly abysmal, a bit of a bully and didn’t know how to use a semi-colon properly). She got annoyed at me because DS1 didn’t have a dedicated notebook for English tuition. He did have an A4 pad and a folder, but apparently this was unacceptable. She also brought no materials to tutor him with. It would have been slightly less annoying if she’d said these were requirements beforehand but she got here and then complained that she couldn’t do anything with him because she hadn’t brought anything with her for the session and had no real plan of action. I wondered what on Earth she thought that I was paying her for. Like your cleaner, I have no idea how the woman retained any clients.

My mum has tutored children with ASN for 20-odd years; she always provides the materials she wants to use to assess where they are and to tutor them (it’s part of her fee), so I was very surprised to have a tutor turn up with nothing at all. Eventually my mum decided to tutor DS1 online because it was absolutely impossible to find a tutor here, particularly one that could work with a newly diagnosed dyslexic student resitting a GCSE.

The point of having a cleaner is that they actually put their back into it and do some actual cleaning. If you're a decent cleaner you expect a bit of dirt and mess. Otherwise what is there to do?

If I just want someone to waft about with a cloth and do half a job, I'd get my kids to do it for free.

My cleaner also was hopeless and told me the vacuum was broken. It wasn't. It has one off and on switch. Not rocket science. She also never had time to dust. It took her 3 hours to vacuum and wash floors!

VelvetSpoon - Exactly! I’ve recently done a one off cover clean at a house which was very clean and I have to say it drove me potty - there was no job satisfaction at all. Those of us who enjoy cleaning prefer to have something to do!

UnimaginativeUsername - I feel your pain - we’ve had the same issue with our daughter but I have finally found a tutor who can think outside the box and really understands different educational needs - it’s been a long time coming though!

If it’s an agency leave google feedback of agency sent Alice to clean for us and we found her to be highly unprofessional rude and unable to fulfil basic tasks.

Agencies hate that kind of negative feedback and it warns others of her too.

Thanks He11y, I can completely understand that.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't leave a weeks worth of manky washing up for my cleaner, or smear shit over the floor, or expect her to clean vomit or blood, for example.

However, some crumbs and mess, a bit of dust and dirt, toothpaste on the taps etc, is all fair enough no?

You could reply that if she doesn't return the key you will be forced to recoup the cost of changing locks through the small claims court, not that you might necessarily do that but it might make her return the key rather than get drawn into a dispute.

VelvetSpoon - we don’t clean human body fluids (although I have cleaned dried vomit from a bathroom) and it’s our choice whether we will clean animal farces or vomit - I will if it’s on the odd occasion but I’d have a word if I was going into cat vomit, for example, every week. Personally, I’ll clear a blocked or very messy toilet if it’s an oversight too but, again, I would have a word if it was a regular occurance. I’ll also clear out gunk from a plug hole but I know cleaners who won’t.

The one thing I don’t like to see is dirty tissues lying around as I have no way of knowing what’s in them. I don’t mind the odd one but I have been to houses where they’ve had a cold and just dropped used tissues around the bed or sofa and left them for me - I do object to that!

Crumbs, dried food spills, toothpaste, dust, animal hair, human hair etc is part of the job. Many of my customers don’t even wipe their cooker in between cleans so I’m very used to them being plastered with dried food splashes but it makes for a satisfying job so I don’t mind that at all - I love it in fact - I should probably get out more!

Some cleaners are just plain lazy I think!

I remember my neighbour and friend got a job with a cleaning company. She didn’t last long. She moaned to me about the “lazy bitches’” houses she cleaned. She particularly hated lazy bitches who didn’t do their own ironing.

She’s working very happily in a shop now ... maybe your cleaner can do the same?

The one thing I don’t like to see is dirty tissues lying around as I have no way of knowing what’s in them. I don’t mind the odd one but I have been to houses where they’ve had a cold and just dropped used tissues around the bed or sofa and left them for me - I do object to that!

My ex does this. Oh how I don’t miss a pile of tissues under the bed because he doesn’t clear up after himself. I never wanted to know what was in them either. Eurgh.

@VelvetSpoon It sounds like the same woman! Everything was "broken". Nothing to do with her being unable to use things of course...

@He11y you sound like the ideal cleaner! Please come and clean for me. I'll provide a working hoover, gloves, the lot!

@Lucked that's exactly what I'll say if she arses around with getting the key back