Body gone to seed. So depressed. AIBU?

[Gonetoseed1]

I know this sounds really shallow, but I'm so depressed about the appearance of my body. AIBU to feel this way? I'm in my mid 50's and always struggled with my weight, though I have managed to lose about a stone and a half over the past few months. However, my BMI is still 36, so still firmly in the obese category. However, it's not even the weight that is depressing me now, but just the general flabbiness and loss of skin tone. I've really noticed it in the past year - previously though I've always been varying degrees of overweight I was also quite firm, and with great legs (though I say it myself). Now the tops of my thighs are wobbly and horrid, and thighs generally are beginning to get that Austrian blind effect, with slight rippling if you know what I mean.

Has anyone transformed their middle-aged body or made big improvements in the way they look What worries me is that it's not just about weight loss anymore, though I'm sure if I lost some more weight and got my BMI into the simply "overweight" category, (which I have calculated would require me to lose a further 2 stone 10lbs) it would improve things. But what else can I do to do to stop the rot? Do i need to take up body building?? If anyone has got any advice or has managed to successfully improve their ageing body I'd love to hear from them.

Lets face it if we had put the same amount of effort and money wed look just as good as A list celebrities.. but we are compating ourselves to people who are a. Paid to look good and b. Can pay their way to looking good.
Good genes and the local gym can only do so much. The result of a great cosmetic surgery is an impossible standard to reach on diet and lifestyle alone when it comes to excess skin and wobble.

And c. have the time to spend on looking good.

@CuteseyUserName

Don't believe the crap about giving up sugar/carbs etc and how wonderful that was for all ills. What that does is restricts calories so you lose weight.

This is really not how low carb diets work. You can eat more calories but still lose weight eating low carb. advantage eating low carb.

OP - what is your diet like? And do you do any exercise at all?

Walking and running are really good ways to tone up, if you like that form of exercise. Weights are also good, but it's important to make sure that you sign up with a trainer (either at the gym or a personal trainer) to make sure that your technique is ok, so you don't risk injury.

I'm 58, and there are lots of bits of me that aren't anything like they were when I was 28 - that's inevitable I think!

Liz Hurley has a body a 20 year old would be blessed to have, never mind a 50 something. However as pp say, God knows how much it cost! Her body is her living, basically.

Definitely have a look at lifting weights.

And I do. I love Elizabeth Hurley. But her Instagram photos are filtered and completely in her control. Looking at her in The Royals shows that a bit of bad lighting makes her skin as dehydrated as the rest of us.

walking is great I try to do at least an hour just around Hampstead heath I should really try running though
I have been eating a lot of kale lately it really fills you up and isn't high in calories it also has great benefits

what a your diet like?

cutesy well my diet's a lot better than it was a few months ago, and as a result I have lost about a stone and a half. I've cut right back on sweets, cakes, biscuits - basically refined crap - Still about two and a half stone to go to reach peak svelteness, but as I alluded to earlier, it's not even being overweight that is as distressing as the lack of muscle tone, mottled moley skin that I hate, and the aforementioned Austrian blind thighs!!!
I used to be a keen runner but that has gone to pot in last few years and I piled on the weight (4 and a half stone). Joined a running club earlier this year but found it really hard and decided I needed to lose weight more before getting back to it. Now I think I need to focus on doing some
Resistance based exercise to combat muscle loss as pp have mentioned. I am on HRT which helps
With that I think. So am not a complete dried up old husk yet!

What do you think is feasible to achieve in 3 months with diet and exercise? And would the change be noticeable? I'd like to think I could lose another stone and a half and with exercise thrown in too hopefully I would see some
Improvement. At the moment I'm not doing any exercise other than walking everywhere (racking up an average of about 12000 steps a day). But think that's just not enough. As I mentioned earlier am thinking of getting a personal trainer again as I hate exercise tbh and know I will just give up and won't push myself if I'm not pushed.

@BIWI

Sorry, but it is how low carb diets work. All diets work, ultimately, through restriction of calories. That's not my opinion, that's science.

Low carb, WW, SW, low-fat, etc., are all just methods for restricting calories. Trust me, I know very well how these things work.

And before anyone weighs in that you'll end up looking like a body builder, no, you won't. You'd have to go a long, long way down an extreme route of diet and exercise for a very long time for that to happen in the case of an older woman.

Yes, I should have made this clear. I forgot how many people think that bodybuilders follow a moderate weights regime of once or twice a week :D You won't end up looking like a beefcake, but you WILL firm and tone in a way that cardio alone, good as it is for your heart, won't do. The more muscle you have, the faster you'll burn calories as well. Plus, loose skin will look much firmer when filled by muscle rather than fat too.

@ GoneToSeed - I recommend you join MyFitnessPal and start to weigh and log your meals to see how many calories you are actually eating. Eating 'clean' healthy meals doesn't necessarily mean low the calories are low enough to give you a decent deficit.

The Community (forum) boards on MFP are a really good source of information and inspiration. Take note of those that have lots of posts and have actually lost significant weight and kept it off (I'm now over 6-stone down).

There is also lots of good info on what sort of exercise to best get into on those boards.

The most important things are to be fully aware of the calories you eat and to ensure a deficit and to find an exercise programme you like and can sustain because you enjoy it. It doesn't have to be hard work or tough. You will see improvements, both physically and as a follow on, mentally, over time.

I would imagine that on an absolute minimum of 1200 calories a day, eating back at least half of your exercise calories, you would lose a stone or more in the time frame you've mentioned.

Not actually quite the case, @CuteseyUserName

Personal trainer is a great idea as is joining a gym where they have friendly classes that you find fun. If you don’t enjoy the exercise you will give up. Pilates May also help with core strength and posture.

I’m a similar age and have some big physical restrictions but haven’t given up the ghost on looking as good as I can. However, Liz Hurley is, for me, aiming a bit high.

Liz Hurley has had her lips done and a breast augmentation/lift according to sources. I’m also pretty sure she’s probably had facial fillers and procedures too. It’s not an attainable look naturally.

She also had the advantage of being born Liz Hurley.

If you look at liz Hurley before any surgery when she was a lot younger and not famous she didn’t look any different to a lot of women you see walking down the street. Having money and being a celebrity helps...

Well she was always very beautiful. Dating Hugh Grant and wearing a safety pin dress will always give you a step up.

Dam that’s where we went wrong... haha

I admit that Liz Hurley has the advantage of having been born beautiful and slim but she does work at it and has been quite open about what she's done, especially after she had Damien.

You can improve your skin though with exercise and some non-surgical treatments including HIFU and laser (and IPL works on brown spots).

I'll admit though that it does take time, effort and money. I feel it's worth it though.

wow ... so many 'thoughs' in that post!

I think anyone any-age, struggles with the whole image thing.

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down about it.

I saw my reflection in a shop window recently and was so upset by my posture and how I looked. So I've started some yoga. I've only done it for a few days and I'm noticing a difference already.

Could you start with some gentle exercise and change your diet?

Hiya has anyone had HIFU on thighs? I just had it done and wondered if anyone has had any experience on it?

Dermaroller / skin needling is excellent for forming up skin, it actually makes your skin regrow collagen! Have a look on the owndoc website and on reddit and get rolling!

I think everyone is different and I certainly lose lots of weight through exercise. More so than diet. You could try keto. It’s worked for everyone I know whose tried it.

Tess Daly is another one who looks literally incredible for 50! And she doesn’t look like she’s had that much work done.

Take up bodybuilding! Well, strength training anyway.

I’m 35 and three years ago I had my first child. I put on about 20-25kg. I’ve now lost it all and am in the best nick I’ve ever been. I run and do strength training, compete in obstacle course races in different countries (last one was 21km), regularly run 10km races at weekends, and am about to take up rock climbing. I feel so much better and am so impressed with myself! My legs look awesome and my whole shape has changed.

However, be prepared for major changes to take longer than a few months. It’s taken me two years of really quite a lot of work and dieting to get to where I am.

Isn’t there something about marathon runners hitting their best times in the fifties? You’re far from past it (very, very far) and your body has potential that you don’t even realise.

I actually started my training because of a Mumsnet poster who said exactly the same thing to me

Liz Hurley is not that beautiful or young looking. Take a closer look at her “snaps”. They are all carefully staged by professional photographers and she is always wearing full body makeup that is contoured to make her look slimmer, toned, and with firm smooth skin. Note the lighting...under trees, late afternoon golden sunlight...it is always where the light is most flattering and softening. Note her body positioning- she is standing or doing things that stretch her out- flattening and hiding any saggy tummy or flappy arm bits.
Elle Macphearson does the same with her bikini “snaps” too.