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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Work trip

60 replies

brieislife · 20/04/2018 11:12

So, for context, I work in admin. Not the very lowest rung of the ladder but not high up. Nobody reports to me. I earn less than the average wage. When I accepted the job I asked about working from home and was told it would be ok as an occasional thing. I have a laptop so can do this and have done a handful of times.

I work near Leeds. We have an office near Heathrow (about a 4 hour drive, if traffic's ok) and there's a conference there that I have to go to in May. It's on a Thursday and is expected to run from 9-5.30. Work are putting those of us coming from Leeds up in a hotel the night before. We would be leaving work at 2-ish on the preceding day to drive down, getting to the hotel at about 6, all being well. My normal working hours are 9-5.30.

I asked my (fairly new) manager if I could work from home the following day as I would likely not be getting home until 10ish & it would be nice to not have to be up early the following day to commute. This was refused with my manager basically saying he had worked most of the previous Sunday and there was a need to work a few additional hours occasionally for the sake of the business. Regardless of the fact I wasn't asking for time off, just to work my normal hours from home. Or that he is significantly senior to me (director level) and as such both his responsibilities and salary are much higher than mine. The tone of his email was disapproving & seemed to suggest I was cheeky for asking.

Then today he sends me a meeting invite for a (fairly unimportant) conference call with him, me and a customer. Just a catch up kind of call. To take place on the day before the meeting between 2.30 and 3.30. Meaning I won't get to leave the office until nearer 4, and won't get to the hotel til around 8.

Would I be unreasonable to ask him if there's any chance of rescheduling? I get the feeling it won't go down too well, but it seems that he's expecting me to work the kind of hours and be as flexible as someone much more senior and more highly paid than I am.

As a one off I wouldn't mind too much but with him being fairly new to the company, and clearly keen to make his mark, I'd rather not just accept this without protest as it could become the norm.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Tartyflette · 20/04/2018 18:03

Ah yes, flexibility and 'going the extra mile' -- funny how that seems to be just a one-way street these days.
Not much sign of that in the OP's new boss. And nor, I suspect from Senior who it seems thinks that they own their workforce in return for a not-terribly-great salary.
(I earned quite a bit more than that over 10 years ago, just for context. I am now retired , thank God, having made my pile, despite my general unwillingness to go the extra mile. . But then I worked for a decent company who believed in providing a fulfilling work/life balance)

pimteringly · 20/04/2018 18:06

Hmmm.

There seems to be a risk that you and your managers relationship could be straying into the “tense and formal”?

Of course every situation is different but I know when I’ve been in workplaces where I’ve (initially) been a bit friendlier than my natural (introvert) personality to senior staff, it’s REALLY paid off as they then give me a lot of leeway later on? I don’t mean flirtatious, but kind of “us together” kind of thing.

Whereas when I’ve been more “these are my hours, I have a private life outside work and you are not part of it” it’s been more negative.

Maybe you could try killing him with kindness and put some energy into “bonding”- could you travel down together?

I appreciate maybe you value your home time over presenteeism at work, but I think maybe as a strategy “bonding” first THEN going for the requests might work better?

Foslady · 20/04/2018 18:08

It’s only worth going the extra mile if you have management who appreciate it speaks from bitter multiple experiences

Itscurtainsforyou · 20/04/2018 18:09

I work for a small/medium company where about 80% earn over £40k. We are all entitled to TOIL (or overtime/travel time) if we work for more than an hour over our agreed hours.

We are also encouraged to work from home, especially after a long day like the OP's as we recognise that tiredness can cause problems with attention, safety etc if driving. It's actually a responsible attitude to take.

OP I'm with you completely.

ReanimatedSGB · 20/04/2018 18:16

It is not reasonable to expect unlimited 'flexibility' from staff paid less than £30 a year. OP has every right to set limits on how much inconvenience and unpaid overtime she will do - it doesn't sound like her job is anything special anyway (in terms of millions dying if she doesn't allow her new manager to fuck her about and waste her time).

Babyplaymat · 20/04/2018 18:17

Two separate issues tbh. Wfh to avoid getting up at normal time is a bit wishy washy, I can understand them being at that as 10 isn't late. But the meeting is annoying, do you have any autonomy? Cause if you do I would just decline, saying that you will be out of the office travelling.

However I don't think the occasional travel out of working hours is that unreasonable, so expecting to do all travel in the working day is.

halfwitpicker · 20/04/2018 18:19

YANBU OP.

You're not a fucking minion.

pineappleplant · 20/04/2018 18:22

Are you the only one going on the trip? I think if I just had one person in my team getting back late from a work thing then it would be fine for them to work from home the next day, but if there are lots of people going and they're all going to get back late and have to be in work the next day then it wouldn't be fair for just one of them to work from home when the rest still have to make it in.

Original poster

brieislife · 20/04/2018 18:29

There's just me and my manager from my team travelling down. The rest are already based in the London office. Plus a couple from another team who have already confirmed they'll be working from home on the Friday.

OP posts:

Original poster

brieislife · 20/04/2018 18:31

Oh, and we can't car share as he's not travelling back up as far as me. He lives in Lincoln so won't have as far to drive back home.

OP posts:

Byllis · 20/04/2018 18:42

I don't think the wfh request was cheeky at all. Leaving aside the pay grade point entirely (and I do think it's very significant) I agree with a pp that it's actually sensible after a long drive. Getting home at 10pm after a long, but otherwise normal, day in the office is completely different from arriving home at 10 after a normal work day followed by a four hour drive. Especially when you aren't used to it. It won't be four hours either when you add in a stop at services (again, the safe and responsible thing to do!) and the inevitable delays.

I have a professional non-managerial role that involves occasional travel of this type, but I'm happy to do it as my company is flexible when I need it. When I've put in a lot of travelling time it's recognised too.

Ginorchoc · 20/04/2018 18:43

Does it happen often or is it a one off. I frequently do extra hours but in my job it can’t be avoided, I also did it when I was earning a lot less than I am now, which is probably why I’m earning more now, same company. Do you want to move up within the company?

Original poster

brieislife · 20/04/2018 18:52

Quite honestly there isn't really anywhere for me to move within the company. Or certainly not more than one further step up. So I don't feel that's a consideration in this.

OP posts:

UserInfinityplus1 · 20/04/2018 19:27

What's the betting that Seniorcitizen1 actually works on the till at Asda

Seniorcitizen1 · 20/04/2018 21:56

user I don’t

I am an economic consultant charging £1k per day

MabelFurball · 20/04/2018 22:17

Standard rate for cuntsultants.

ReanimatedSGB · 20/04/2018 23:09

Ah, consultants. Wasting companies' time and resources by demonstrating fancy new ways to treat their employees like shit.

pigeondujour · 21/04/2018 08:54

if there are lots of people going and they're all going to get back late and have to be in work the next day then it wouldn't be fair for just one of them to work from home when the rest still have to make it in.

My work environment is totally flexible and if we had a long staff day thing on a Thursday, people would only be expected in by exception on a Friday (if they didn't have events or external meetings to go to). We all work really, really hard. To be honest anyone who's calling a request to work from home 'cheeky' doesn't really understand flexible working or how to get the most from technology. Why hire people whose motives you assume the worst of? Workplaces with that attitude are really going to suffer.

harshbuttrue1980 · 21/04/2018 09:12

I think its a bit lazy to ask to work from home just so you can have a lie in. I work in a secondary school, and it was the school play this week. It finished at 9.30pm, and all teachers had to go, including newly qualified ones who earn much less than you (around £20,000). Everyone turned up for work on time the next day, and no one thought it was terrible to have to do it. We all have to just get on with things and not be jobsworthy.

Queenio24 · 21/04/2018 09:22

My work environment is totally flexible and if we had a long staff day thing on a Thursday, people would only be expected in by exception on a Friday

So there's a different culture at your place of work than at the OP's. Not all places are this flexible.

pigeondujour · 21/04/2018 09:31

Yeah thanks Einstein, that's what I was saying.

Original poster

brieislife · 21/04/2018 09:58

@harshbuttrue1980 There's quite a difference between working a full day then attending a play which means you're home late to working a full day then driving for 4+ hours which means you're home late. Can you not see how one of those would make you a lot more tired than the other?

And to be fair, the nature of teaching means you and your colleagues don't have the option of working from home so of course everyone showed up! I can complete my work just the same from my sofa as I can from my desk in the office.

I'm really not understanding people who think working from home is cheeky, I'm afraid. Why does wanting to avoid a commute after a long drive the night before make me lazy? I'd still be working a full day.

OP posts:

Flockoftreegulls · 21/04/2018 11:08

I don't think you are cheeky but I think on this occasion you have to put it down to experience and move on.
In future book travel into your calendar so you are not available then decline meeting requests if they fall into that time. If he asks why you have declined tell him it is accepted practise in the company.
I think you need to tackle the working from home but you need to let the dust settle first. If it was agreed by a previous manager but he isn't aware I know its annoying for you but I think you risk looking petty now. I don't think you are but he will see it that way. So I would suck it up for now and then in a couple of months ask to have a quick meeting with him and explain that maybe he was unaware but it's part of your contract and see what he says.

Babyplaymat · 21/04/2018 11:12

I just don't think it sounds that bad, and have done similar many times. It's only one day until the weekend.

harshbuttrue1980 · 21/04/2018 11:37

Brie, teachers are still on duty when attending plays, and they still have to drive home afterwards. I doubt any of them would choose to do that with their evening. My point is that people have to sometimes bend at work, and this isn't just people who are highly paid. You asked whether you were BU, and some have said yes and some have said no.

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