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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like I’m crap at my job and will get sacked soon?

33 replies

AprilMayJuneJuly · 19/04/2018 18:43

I’ve name-changed for this.

I started a new job recently, and I’m already nervous that I’m going to get sacked soon.

I know that sounds like quite an irrational thing to say, but it’s because I’m getting nervous about my performance and I’m not sure how I can be effective in the job.

I know it’s early days (I started at the end of last week week) but, at the same time, I know that every day counts.

I’m still getting used to the systems and policies at my new workplace, so have been taking time to write down everything I’m finding out and organising it in a notebook so that I can refer back to it whenever I need to. I feel like this is helping, but I’m worried that I’m taking too long to understand everything and that there’s something wrong with me.

I’m worried that I’ll just get passed over and never given any responsibility as I’m a bit crap Blush

It’s a huge workplace with a lot of rules and regulations, and although my job is very junior, I’m finding it hard to remember everything and to try and prove myself at the same time, as everyone is so busy.

I’m in a really small team, and the newest member. Everyone else in the team is really nice, and I really like the culture of the workplace, but everyone’s so busy and I think I’m starting to annoy my team members with the amount of questions I’m asking them.

I’m never sure when to ask a question when I’m unsure about something, as everyone has such a huge and constant workload. I try to ask questions in batches, but I’m never sure when is a convenient time.

For example, I’ll ask my manager when I could go through X, Y and Z with them, and they’ll suggest a time, but then when the time comes, they’ll apologise and say they're really busy and then ask if we can catch up the next day so they can answer my questions.

Also, a big part of the job involves clear and concise communication, but I get so nervous that I either speak way too quickly and jumble up my words and then have to repeat myself, or I don’t express myself very clearly Blush

Please could you all help? It would be so useful to have a bit of reassurance and guidance please.

This is my dream job and I really don’t want to mess it up Blush

Thanks so much.

OP posts:
BrownTurkey · 19/04/2018 18:50

You’re new, no one expects too much of you yet. Do what you know how to do, watch others, ask to shadow or speak to others about their role as part of your induction. Prioritise your questions - don’t get caught up in unnecessary detail. Ask people favours. Fake confidence, it is much more attractive than anxiety. Promise yourself if you still feel this way after six months then thats a problem, but right now you are doing OK. It will get better. Stay cool.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 19/04/2018 18:52

You've only been there a week!

Maybe take other team members out for a coffee and for ask their advice based on their own experience on how to get fully up to speed. People love to talk about themselves and give advice.

Calic0 · 19/04/2018 18:53

It’s honestly really hard to answer based on what you’ve said! But you’ve been there less than a week - of COURSE you’re still finding it overwhelming. Do the company not do some sort of basic induction package? I know for people starting at our place (Gov department, VERY strict protocols in place for certain things) it’s death by e-learning for the first week or so!

Could you look into the possibility of a mentor or buddy to support you? Not necessarily your line manager but someone who knows the role?

I’m sure it will all start to click - better to ask questions now than still not know what you’re doing three months down the line.

Yarnswift · 19/04/2018 18:54

Open google
Type in ‘imposter syndrome’
Read what comes up.

Then take a deep breath, keep asking the questions, and keep learning. Always, always ask. You sound like a responsible and conscientious person - just keep learning, keep asking.

snozzlemaid · 19/04/2018 19:01

Be kinder to yourself. You're new at the job. No one would expect you to know it all by now. It's perfectly normal to have lots of questions and anyone decent would be only too happy to answer them to help you learn. It might take up a bit of their time now but in the long run once you're an established member of the team you'll help them by lessening their workload.
Sounds like you're doing great by making notes to refer back to.
I would much rather someone ask questions than try to work it out themselves and potentially get it wrong.
Remember they've all been new at the job at some point.
It'll all slot into place sometime. I hope it goes well for you.

GrannyGrissle · 19/04/2018 19:18

Slow down. I used to rabbit on and get jumbled with words (social anxiety) but not just pause for thought/breath and slow right down. Also practice! Sad i know, but helps! Congratulations on the new job Flowers

FilthyforFirth · 19/04/2018 19:26

Remember that they gave YOU the job, vert recently, over others. It is hard to get a job, so remember, a huge well done for getti g there.

No one is expected to know how to do their job immediately. If it would make you feel better, ask your manager during your next 1-1 what her expectations are around you in the role. I am sure her answer will help put your mind at ease.

You wont get fired! Best of luck.

SadTrombone · 19/04/2018 19:33

Definite 'Impostor Syndrome'. The worst of it will pass with time!

ilovesooty · 19/04/2018 19:47

You've hardly been there five minutes. They will tell you if they have concerns about your performance

DieSchottin93 · 19/04/2018 20:31

It takes a while to settle into any new job, I always think the first 6 weeks or so are a bit daunting. I'm currently working as a barista and I felt a bit stupid for the first few weeks and all I was doing was making food! Blush After a couple of months my boss was happy to leave me and another colleague in charge of the cafe Smile

In a few months you'll look back and wonder why you were getting so worked up about it. Other posters have given good suggestions and writing everything down is also very good. Don't worry, you've got this Smile

SerenDippitty · 19/04/2018 20:36

I was going to say Impostor Syndrome but see I’ve been beaten to it!

CheshireDing · 19/04/2018 20:40

Sounds like my place ! It's not legal is it ? :)

Honestly we are all crazy busy but would never be annoyed by new people asking for help. We were all new once.

Better to ask than make a mistake.

Give yourself time. I always think it takes at least 3 months to settle in to a new job. I have been doing not YEARS and still feel a bit shit sometimes Hmm

hannah1992 · 19/04/2018 20:40

Don’t be hard on yourself! Everyone starts somewhere and everyone else will have been the one asking loads of questions at one point.

I am a referral point on my team and I always say ask me anything. Doesn’t matter how silly it may seem I’d rather you pester me and get it right than try to do it alone and get it wrong. In many cases if you do the latter and get it wrong it makes more work for everyone else as they have to rectify it iyswim.

You’ve only been there a week give yourself some time. You’d be surprised at how things click into place very quickly. One day you’ll go in and just know exactly what you’re doing and it will be like you’ve been there for years!

Dljlr · 19/04/2018 20:45

I've been in a new role for 3 months and I'm still saving up questions and spewing them in a bunch to my very kind and extremely busy colleagues, and feeling like an arse while I do it. But I'll get there, then I'll do the same for the next new person. Don't worry op. It's only week 2, no one will be expecting you to know it all, and they were all new once too.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 19/04/2018 20:52

For example, I’ll ask my manager when I could go through X, Y and Z with them, and they’ll suggest a time, but then when the time comes, they’ll apologise and say they're really busy and then ask if we can catch up the next day so they can answer my questions.

Ugh, that must be incredibly frustrating. I can see why you're feeling like you are!

It'll be ok. New jobs get better in threes - three weeks, three months, three years. You've only just learned where the loos are! It'll get better.

Make sure you get the help you need. Maybe there's a better time to go through stuff than during the day; could they sit with you every morning for 10 minutes? Or before they go home?

DropZoneOne · 19/04/2018 20:56

What everyone else said plus thank you for batching up questions! I don't mind getting asked questions, I do mind constant interruptions. Although actually I accept in the first month of a new starter, I will need to spend up to half my day helping and supporting them and either write off getting my own work done or stay late to keep on top of the most urgent tasks.

The only other thing would be to suggest the answer you think, probably not possible in your first week, but if you can say I have problem xyz and I could do abc or def, which would you recommend? You're showing you've considered what you could do but you'd like the benefit of their experience.

SusannahD · 19/04/2018 21:09

You have only been there a week, don’t be hard on yourself. I would ask if you could spend some time shadowing and ask your manager how they would like you to refer, making notes like you are doing will help.

mumonashoestring · 19/04/2018 21:15

This is totally normal. We get bored in / outgrow a job, so we apply for something more challenging and better paid. We get into that job and, because we've gone for something that will challenge us, we have a period of what's known as contraction, where you almost feel like you're going backwards because you're used to knowing how to do everything and all of a sudden you've got a shedload of stuff to learn. We stick at it, we learn, and we plateau again until we're ready to look for another challenge (either within our existing job or by moving on again). Stick at it, you'll be back on track in no time.

FannyFaceAche · 19/04/2018 21:19

Big hugs OP, I've been in my new job for a month and feel the same as you. I keep trying to have faith in my abilities and work hard. Not sure what else there is to do until I feel more settled and comfortable in the role. We have to give our selves time to settle in. And ask questions! You're doing great!

Nakedavenger74 · 19/04/2018 21:24

OP if it helps. I've been in my job for 10 years. I have been promoted 3 times. I get big performance bonuses. I have been shipped around the world to speak on my specialist area. I am on track to get a very senior position.

I still feel the same way you do....

I know it is impostor syndrome and knowing this helps me manage my anxiety and feelings of worthlessness.

NarNooNarNoo · 19/04/2018 21:27

I’ve been in my current office team 8 years and the best new starters are those that ask questions and not suffer in silence. Is there anyone else other than your manager who can help, it’s a good way to get to know people and what they do as well.

As long as you’re not asking exactly the same question all the time, it’ll start to sink in. One week is nothing, honestly.

When I started my role I remember being told it’d take me 3 months to understand the very specific computer system (about right!) so I always tell people that so they don’t feel overwhelmed!

kabanner · 19/04/2018 21:29

As others have said they employed you so must have confidence in your abilities to do the job.

I agree with going to them with a solution to what your asking, looking for confirmation it's the right thing to do, with your rationale and if its not quite right you will hopefully getting coaching/feedback.

The team I work with and what we do, even my boss with 30 yrs experience we are all always learning from things we do.

bigsighall · 19/04/2018 21:34

Oh gosh pls don’t worry. I contract so have a lot of jobs. I feel like this every single time. Quite often I won’t get time with the manager either and sit there doing nothing for days on end.
I’m a few weeks into a new contract now and I couldn’t even tell you what I’m meant to be doing! I think it’s quite normal. Spend the time getting to know people is my advice

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 19/04/2018 21:41

Congratulations on the new job OP! I'm sure after a few months you'll be using all the company's acronyms and feel like you've been there forever! It sounds like you like your industry and company and colleagues, and you work hard and care about doing a good job so that's lots of boxes ticked to make a success of things. No one ever got sacked for not picking up everything instantly or asking too many questions (unless the same ones over and over again!) - that's why probation periods areally generally 6 months not a few weeks! Good luck

StillMedusa · 19/04/2018 21:44

I'm 4 weeks into my new (and completely different to previous) job... and I feel a right numpty 90% of the time!

But that's an improvement on 99% a week ago ...

Every night I have a panic because I think 'what if I never get to grips with this and can't do X,Y,Z properly' But then I remind myself that if I put my new, efficient colleagues in MY old job..they would feel exactly the same! New is scary, but I'm sure it will pass for you (and me!)