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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can I withdraw information I gave to the police?

16 replies

Policestatement99 · 19/04/2018 14:56

Long term member NC, posting for traffic and hoping someone can help. I reported something to the police that happened to me 20 years ago, I called them and they wanted to send officers round to speak to me, since I did it I have completely lost the bottle to do it and don't want to go ahead with talking to them but they said I have no choice now, does anyone know if this is correct? Do I not have the right to leave it if I don't want to take it further? They are calling me daily leaving me voicemails and I know I can't keep ignoring them, anyone any ideas on how I can stop this going further?

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 19/04/2018 15:26

Speak to them. You can’t be forced to do anything but they will continue to try and contact you. Just tell them you have reconsidered and do not want to provide a statement anymore.

They will give you support and contact numbers if you do decide you want to progress it at a later date.

Coldilox · 19/04/2018 15:30

(Police here) You do have a choice, you do not have to give a statement. Without knowing what you reported, they probably want to at least see you to check on your welfare. Speak to them, explain you don't want to go ahead, allow them to come and see you if they need to and they may ask you to sign something to say you do not wish to pursue this matter at this time but you understand you can change your mind at any time in the future.

The problem we have now is that because of crime recording rules as soon as you reported it a crime would have been reported, and it's very difficult to close crimes of a serious nature without a proper investigation unless we have proof that's what you want. Otherwise we could be accused of just not bothering.

blackteasplease · 19/04/2018 15:33

You can't withdraw what you've told them, but you can indicate that you aren't prepared to take this any further or go to court.

Yes they can witness summons people but they (prosecution lawyers) would have to think long and hard before doing this with a victim, especially for a non recent offence.

Sorry you've been through all this

Original poster

policestatement99 · 19/04/2018 15:41

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply, I do really really appreciate it, it's been bothering me for years but more since I became a mum this year, I just randomly decided to report it then after consideration I just want to draw a line under it as I know my family would get dragged into it all and I have a new baby and don't want the added stress. It was 20 years ago when I was 14 and had a sexual relationship with a man that was 37 who was a lodger at our house, and I do believe I was groomed. I called them saying I didn't wish to take it further but they said it's too late, then I called and said I made a mistake with the time lines and that I was 16 at the time but now they won't stop ringing, I feel sick everytime the phone rings. I will definitely speak to them tomorrow I know I can't keep putting it off and I know they are busy so don't have time to keep chasing me. I just want it all to go away! So do you think unless I sign a statement they won't go and speak to him? I did give his name when I called them

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 19/04/2018 15:45

police I can only speak for my area but if the only information you have provided so far is by phone and aren’t willing to pursue it and provide more information then no, we wouldn’t go speak to him.

If they call you again and you really really don’t want to take it further then be firm and tell them you will contact them if and when you want to provide a statement and to not contact you until then.

SirVixofVixHall · 19/04/2018 15:51

Police - of course you were groomed. You were a child. I am so sorry this happened to you.

GnotherGnu · 19/04/2018 16:09

I assume they may be concerned for the safety of any other child he comes in contact with. You may want to think about that anyway.

PrettyLittIeThing · 19/04/2018 16:32

I suspect they think you are lying about being 16.

Huskylover1 · 19/04/2018 16:37

iirc, in Scotland once you have reported something, the Police can act, even if you say you want to drop it. You cannot just say that you don't want to "press charges" as once the Police know, it is out of your hands.

Nicknacky · 19/04/2018 16:39

husky While that is correct that you don’t “press charges” if the police do not have sufficient information or evidence then it will go no further than her initial report.

We get this situation a lot.

BlueRoses28 · 19/04/2018 16:40

Maybe they're concerned that some-one is forcing you to withdraw your complaint and they want to make sure that it's your own choice.

OnTheRise · 19/04/2018 16:53

I know it's scary, but I don't think you would have reported it in the first place if you didn't want some action taken. It's fine if you've changed your mind: but you could always ask if you could go and speak to them and take a friend with you for support, on the understanding that you will leave if it gets too much.

I reported child sex abuse a few years ago, and although it was difficult the police I dealt with were extremely compassionate and supportive. It was harder thinking about giving my statement than actually doing it.

WellThisIsShit · 19/04/2018 17:48

Don’t panic please, it’s still very much in your control. Basically, you can ‘speak’ to them lots and it doesn’t matter a jot because until you go on record with a proper recorded interview, they can’t involve you further, and you can say no to that.

I decided not to go forwards with a formal interview with something, after lots of informal meetings and discussions, and they respected my decision. Theoretically they could carry on with evidence gathering if they had very strong chance of getting a conviction even if you weren’t cooperating /involved as the victim or star witness. But this would only happen if it was something they felt was such a big thing that it could stand without you AND that pursuing it would be in the public interests ie worth the money and resources they’d have to throw at it, weighed against at the severity of the crime and potential for conviction. Although ultimately it’s the CPS who make the final call, I found that the police had their eyes very firmly on this right from the get to... which I found reassuring as like you, I had my reasons for not wanting it to snowball out from under me before I was ready.

I have to say though, ultimately, I wish I had pursued it, now, with the benefit of hindsight. Ah well.

squishee · 19/04/2018 18:37

As a PP has said, they might want to make sure you haven't been intimidated into withdrawing your statement.

Sorry for what you went through. That's kinds of wrong.

Original poster

Policestatement99 · 21/04/2018 20:47

I just wanted to say Thank you again to everyone that replied especially those working for the police, and I'm so sorry for those that have gone through similar experiences. After reading your posts I very firmly (but nicely) told them I wasn't prepared to discuss anything further and asked them not to contact me again as ringing me 3 times a day and them saying I had no choice but the make a statement was causing me lots of stress and I said I won't be returning any calls and apologised for wasting their time. I do wish I had the balls to continue with it but I haven't and couldn't find the strength to put myself through it with the new baby. Had I not got advice on here I would of likely gone ahead with it as they made out I had no choice, so thanks again.

OP posts:

SirVixofVixHall · 21/04/2018 20:59

It did occur to me that perhaps they have had someone else report him and hence were very keen to add weight with your testimony.
Op you can choose to continue with the report in the future if at some point you feel that you could cope with it.
to you for your bravery in even considering it.

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