Ex & school collection

[Crazycatladyx5]

Ex collects DD9 one night a week from school. He often let's her down on the set night for various reasons. Which of course means I have to have her that night. I work at the same school so he assumes I'm just available cos I'm there. Yes, I'm there but it means cancelling what I'd planned to do. I"ve sometimes had meetings I cant camcel & had to pay for childcare when he isnt collecting. Often he wants to collect her the next night instead. She's booked into our ASC that night & I have to pay whether she attends or not. I'm sick of paying for it when she's with him, & money is tight. He does pay maintenance but not a lot as he doesn't work much.. So this week I suggested he pay the fee if he wanted her that night. Apparently his family have had a good laugh at that. AIBU?

He should be responsible for childcare on his night but unfortunately you can't force him to see his dd is he refuses to turn up.

I wouldn't swap days though. If he wants to skip a day then he skips a day. Although that depends on your dd. Would she feel like she was missing out. Would she rather see her dad or go to her club. Could she do both? And he picks her up from that?

How old is dd? It's not fair that you regularly have to rearrange your plans. My first instinct would be no never swap but who would that punish?

You need to make it clear that from now on, that night is the only night dd is available to be collected by him - there will be no more swapping.