To be scared of armed burglars

[SaucyJane]

The police where we live have been warning residents after a spate of armed burglaries - it's quite a naice area so people have been targeted for fancy cars, jewellery etc. One of my dad's friends was one of the victims. A burglar threw bricks through his back door, smashed his way in, and smacked the poor man in the face repeatedly, demanding to know where his safe was. They don't have a safe, but burglar wouldn't believe this and kept hitting him. He's in his late 70's :(

Then of course there was the recent Osborn-Brooks burglary, and there's been a doctor and his wife in court today who were burgled by a man with a knife who drove them to a cash point in their own car to withdraw cash. Seeing it all over the media makes it worse.

I'm breastfeeding a newborn so have a lot of time to sit up at night worrying about every unexplained bang! Someone on the Henry Vincent thread referred to a case where the burglars snatched the baby and threatened to pour boiling water over him/her unless the householders gave them valuables; that's the stuff of nightmares. I worry about my toddler at the other end of the house when that thought pops into my head at 3am.

DF is in his late 70's and lives alone at the end of a private driveway, so I also worry that he's a target for someone following home a white haired man. He's stubborn as hell, so I worry that he'd end up being beaten up or worse.

AIBU to be this worried about it? I'd love to be told I'm being irrational. Is there anything more you can do, except have decent doors/locks and an alarm? How does everyone else cope with worries that are outside their control like this?

Ok yanbu to worry.
But realise that the chance of it happening to you is very unlikely.
To help though it's all about making yourself a harder target, so be well put outside, have alarms (ones that link to a security service are good).
If someone did get in, have a fully charged phone, and a lock on your door. Get your kid, barricade the door, call the police and stay on the line.

I say again it is unlikely it will happen to you, so please don't let it overwhelm you.

How far away is your toddler? I wouldn’t feel comfortable having them sleep too far away but then I also don’t understand parents who convert the loft and sleep up there with children on the lower floor. I grew up in a pretty large house & my parents used to lock all the downstairs rooms so that if someone broke in through a window they would then still need to break through a heavy wooden door.

But realise that the chance of it happening to you is very unlikely

Bet that's what the victims thought.

This did happen to my parents. I have a panic button in every room and locks on all my downstairs internal doors , so if someone broke in via the kitchen for example they would then have to smash through the kitchen door to get into the rest of the house.

We have outside security lights and a panic button (that was here when we bought the house, I'm not quite that bad yet!). DF has CCTV as well.

Toddler is just at the other end of the hall, so not far away at all, but far enough to feel like a mile away if there were armed men in the way - the stairs are between our room and hers.

I agree, I also wouldn't sleep in the attic and have the children on the floor below, even though I have several friends who do that very happily.

Perhaps dummy cctv as a deterrent

@FloralMist. Wow helpful. As you can see I offered suggestions on how to feel more secure but what is the point in worrying yourself to death.

Ok you have got lots of things to help if it does happen, and a lot to deter a criminal anyway. Don't do dummy cctv, can be spotted miles off. All I can suggest again is alarm, proper locks, proper cctv, outside lighting, bedroom lock and a charged phone

Get a big fuck off dog? I sleep well, albeit not particularly comfortably, with 7 stone of German shepherd on my feet 😁

Bet that's what the victims thought.

People are terrible at risk assessment. Worry about antibiotic resistance or global warming, two things that might actually affect you.

Are you generally anxious?

Thanks OP I’m home alone and shitting myself now!

Can you get one of those alarms that are fitted where you press a button and a voice comes over a speaker asking if you need police, fire , ambulance or if you want them to call someone on your list...at least if someone tried to break in and you pressed the button you wouldn't need to be near a phone as the call centre would hear and be able to send help to you...

Also get a big dog...that would be a good deterrent too

If you have all security measures in place, you shouldn't worry.

Do you have a ground floor alarm during the night?

What about a sign that says ‘Beware of the Dog’

To save getting an actual dog

I was burgled (non armed and happened whilst we were asleep thank god) as a child and have had issues with being alone in a house ever since so completely relate to your fears. What I find helps me is having a plan of action as to what I would do in the situation, and then prepare for all eventualities. We also have a police response alarm system which gives me peace of mind.

As deterrents we have (annoying as hell) motion activitated floodlights, dummy cctv cameras and two very barkey dogs. I know the risk of being burgled is slim but it's peace of mind for me so more than worth it.

A plan of action is a good idea. Sadly I am allergic to most animals, so much as I would genuinely love a dog for many reasons, I don't see it ever happening :(

I am not usually anxious at all - but am totally batshit when it comes to worrying about the kids or my dad or anything health related. I think it goes back to losing my mum v suddenly and unexpectedly some years ago. Now I panic about losing dad too, and struggle to think of medical procedures having a good outcome after mum :(

Other posters are right - this is very unlikely to happen and you can relax.

However if you want to make yourself more secure, knock yourself out. Suggestions given above are good, but there are plenty more:-

A “Beware of the Dog” sign
An actual dog - doesn’t need to be big
A sign saying “You Are On CCTV”
CCTV or dummy CCTV
A burglar alarm or a dummy burglar alarm
External lights - bright ones with motion detector so they come on if there is a prowler
A personal alarm
A lock on your garden gate / drive gate
A really old banger of a car parked outside (you needn’t use it) to make you look hard-up
A pet bear 🐻

I honestly don't know if I'm allergic to bears

I read that the number one deterrent for burglars is a dog. Even putting up a sign would put most off I think.

I can understand your fear, I have been broken into twice and it is scary. Mostly when they see you, they run away, there are very few that are brazen enough to smack you about or anything.

Take all the security measures suggested above and your risk should be minimal.

It really annoys me when people say it’s reallt unlikely or mock people for not opening their doors to strangers. It’s terribly naive. It may be unlikely in some areas but some places it’s all too bloody likely.

My father in law had burgalars try to pretend to be police and asked him to open his door at 2am. When he said no they got our weapons and started kicking the door down. Luckily, the dog went mental and they left but they smashed into 2 other houses that night. Thankfully they were caught in a stolen car and are now doing time.

In March this year I had a ring on my bell when I was home alone with kids at 7pm. We recently got a door bell with a camera on and screen inside. I could see a man in his 20’s pacing up and down my drive, looking at my car, checking the side of the house, looking through the windows. I said ‘can I help you?’ over the intercom and he said ‘can you come to the door I need to speak to Dave?’ As he said that he pulled a mask over his face. I said ‘go away there is no Dave here’ and he pretended not to hear and asked me to come to the door so I could speak to him. So I said ‘you’re on camera and you’ve been filmed without your mask’ I was gonna say ‘I’m calling the police’ but he spotted the camera on the doorbell when I said that I could see him and he turned and fled. I took the footage to the police. Best £200 I ever spent.

If I listened to the ‘people who don’t answer their doors are weird’ crew on here I reckon my car would be gone and I’d have been attacked in front of my kids.

You don’t have to worry about it or be anxious if you take precautions. Make sure you know who is at the front door. Don’t leave high value cars on the drive if you can help it. Make sure you have non smashable windows downstairs and they will move on to an easier target. These people are chancers and will pick on the easiest prey.

“Out their weapons” not ours!

Cross post with ‘thisisthefirst’ absolutely get a sign saying beware, attack dogs or similar, get one of those camera door bells and record a vicious sounding dog on your phone. Play it in the background when answering the bell via intercom and the chances they will brazen to continue are pretty low. All the burglar needed to know in our case was he was on camera and he legged it!