A stranger telling DP our baby can't be his?!

[teddybaer]

That basically. We were at a shopping centre DS was in the pram two young boys around early 20's walked passed saw DS in pram, laughed and said "definitely not yours mate". I'm white, DP is black and DS is fairly pale in the face but the spit of DP. We have always had jokey comments from close family/friends and DP seems to think this is just the same and it's hilarious. AIBU to be a bit offended? And to wonder who the hell does that to a stranger in public?!

It’s really weird because people have absolutely no idea. As you and I had no idea either before. It’s such a strange experience.

You don’t need to ‘get used to it’ in a ‘accept it’ way but you learn how to deal with it. My dh sounds a bit like yours. Calm. That’s the best way to be.

@SavoyCabbage - yes you are right! I didn't use to think racism was really a problem.. because I was white and lived in an 99.99% white community. But then I felt like an outsider for not having a Cumbrian accent. God knows what it must've been like for the 0.01%.
The local window cleaner (who is not the sharpest knife in the drawer) said to me once when I was at the shop with the baby, "He's not entirely white, is he?" DH and I are both white. I didn't know how to reply. Too much outrage and I'd sound like a racist. Not enough and I'd sound like there was some doubt in the matter!

It's 2 twenty year old kids thinking they're funny- treat it as such.
Unsure why this is deemed as racist!

They are ignorant arseholes.

I get this with my son, I'm mixed race brown and he came out blonde, blue eyed and basically white. Its a challenge.

Our mixed race DGCs have markedly different skin tones. DS's XP was accosted by a lady who looked at them in their push chair and said "What beautiful children, do they have the same father?"

It's rude, but not racist.

My nephew got some looks when he was younger because his parents are both dark haired with dark eyes but he's blonde with blue eyes. His paternal grandmother and Aunts are all blonde with blue eyes and our Mom has lighter brown hair and blue eyes.

congratulations on new baby🙂
Honestly,some folk are just daft or stirrers
My dc are the image of their dad.despite this dp has a rellie who constantly says. I don’t know who dem nippers loook like In a conspiratorial manner

On a serious note,sadly yes racism still abounds both overt and covert
Love your child,keep him safe and he’ll figure who’s his friends and who isn’t

As for racism no longer being around, I have been guilty of assuming it is less prevalent. I am white though in a predominantly white area.

Or it could be because I am not racist, I like to think the best of people, so assume everyone thinks as I do!

Offensive and unpleasant for you dp and you, but I would let it go as it just sounds like a couple of dickheads being rude.

A guy in the pub said to DH that one of our b/g twins couldn’t be his.

If they meant to imply the baby takes after the mother because the mother is better looking, surely they would say "Good job he takes after his mum, ha ha ha" - still staggeringly rude from someone not close enough to make that joke, but not quite as bad as implying that the woman has cheated!

I think it's ignorant racism. Genetics are weird and people don't really understand how they work, as well.

My neighbour is Italian and her two boys have big blue eyes and white blonde hair, her husband has red hair.

What a pair of racist, misogynistic dicks they sound.

I’m so sorry you had that, I’m even sorrier that your husband has had it all his life. I am white and I hate that this is still his/your reality. I would have and do call people out on racist comments in real life with depressing regularity.

I honestly just cannot for one second ever imagine passing comment on a strangers child or a stranger for that matter . I mean I wouldn't make racist comments anyway to someone I know obviously that goes without saying but I mean more generally just commenting on someone's child's looks for example . Why ? Just why ????

They sound like a couple of idiots. Your DH on the other hand sounds like a cool, self confident kind of guy. Don't give this nonsense more headspace than it deserves.

My uncle (by marriage, who is white) always told my aunt that she was always imagining the racist slights she regularly received.

Until they went on holiday in the UK and a delightful man shouted at him that he was a ‘traitor’ and that he should take his ‘n**r and their mongrels’ back to where they came from. Then he realised the shit that’s in some people’s minds.

I’ve just had my second child who is completely white looking in spite of me being mixed race - very fair skin, reddish hair and blue eyes. Genes do what they do. I’m preparing myself for the ‘is he your son?’ questions as he gets older.

Also hate that a lot of people (and a lot of mumsnetters) seem to think that racism no longer exists and we're all just causing a ruckus over nothing

I agree. I'm black so I've experienced it throughout my life to some degree. You just grow a thick skin because you have no choice.

I've a friend who is white and has a mixed race baby. She was very unaware of racism before, but now lots of her FB posts are about racial issues. She lives in the U.S. where it's even worse.

My parents are both black...but DM is fair skinned...when Dsis was born she was very fair and people/strangers said she was DMs.... thought DM was the nanny.

Although that was in the 60s when racism was much much worse.

Its so strange that people are still surprised by mixed race babies and couples to the point they feel they need to comment about it. Baffles me.