Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Smelly bins aibu

43 replies

Blackbinsack · 17/04/2018 18:47

Recently my boyfriends been extra stressed it’s no excuse for him at all. The stress has all been taken out on me and tonight I’ve just had enough and not sure if I was bu. In our kitchen we had 3 bins one compost heap one for recycling and one for waste. I said I would clean them and did jet washed them and used some zoflora on them. He claimed they still smell but I was just ignoring it saying they smell fine they do. Last night he asked me to empty the bin as I’m off work for 3 days pointed at the bin to. Now he’s just come home fuming asking have a done the bins when I said yes he said DONT LIE THERE NOT ALL DONE AND STILL SMELL. I said yes I emptied the compost bin like you asked. NO I ASKED YOU TO DO THE BINS AND CLEAN THEM. Me again saying no you didn’t pluss they don’t smell recycling smells strongly of beer but will go once emptied pluss I always spray with cleaner after emptying. He’s now huffed off in his car. Sorry for the rant just fed up of him at the moment things where so good between us and this new promotion at work he’s a changed man. He won’t do anything at home with out a reason why he can’t do it. Last night he wouldn’t wash up I till I removed two bits of my sweet corn from the sink. I don’t no what to do we’ve just brought a house together it’s like he’s changed over night

OP posts:

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/04/2018 10:12

Run for the hills, he's a controlling shit head. He can fucking wash them if they arent up to his standard.

abigailsnan · 18/04/2018 10:14

Blackbinsack Wow what an absolute idiot you have got there,an out and out bully who will not change only get worse trust me my DD had one of these and he never stopped once they moved in together she ended up a nervous wreck worrying what he was going to pick up on next so get rid of him now before you get to that stage.

Magicstar1 · 18/04/2018 10:14

Yeah, you need to get out before he gets any worse. In the meantime, tell him to rinse his fucking beer cans out before putting them into the recycling...it's his fault the smell of beer is in there!

finnmcool · 18/04/2018 10:19

I gave an ex a second chance after similar behaviour. I effectively gave him permission to keep treating me like shit and it continued to get worse.

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 18/04/2018 10:23

When he finishes work I’m going to text him what would be an appropriate text one that’s short sweet ans gets to the point.

OP posts:

veggiethrower · 18/04/2018 10:29

Are you living at your mum's at the moment?
Don't really understand how she could hear. Are you in the new house that you have bought with this twat?

Get rid of him. Sounds like he has other problems not related to the bins. He's taking out all his frustrations on you. It will only get worse.
He should clean the bins himself if he is not happy with your standard of cleaning.

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 18/04/2018 10:32

Living at home house is just going through should get it end of the month deposit all paid

OP posts:

veggiethrower · 18/04/2018 11:06

Do you really want to live with him?
He's only going to get worse.
Is he having second thoughts about moving into the new house - it's a big decision.
How old are you? He sounds infantile.

Gottagetmoving · 18/04/2018 11:14

All this over bins?
I doubt the bins are the issue. He's probably stressed over his job?
Whether or not, tell him if he wants the bins done his way, tell him to do it himself.

Idontdowindows · 18/04/2018 11:26

house is just going through should get it end of the month deposit all paid

Right. I would suggest a long discussion with him about acceptable behaviour. Because this is not it.

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 18/04/2018 11:57

He is super stressed at work I know that I told him last night not to bring the stress home. He claimed he didn’t but silence huffyness is brining it home. Most nights he comes home straight on the work again beer open and no dinner. I make him dinner he dosnt eat it due to stress so empty stomach and beer dosnt help. He’s only eating lunch at the moment. His dad died 8 years ago around this month it’s edextibg him to I caught him crying last week and I know it was over that.

OP posts:

stayathomer · 18/04/2018 12:17

You need to have a serious sit down 'this is it' talk and try to figure this all out. I think you have the signs though to be honest. You haven't even got into your new house and he's treating you like shit. Obviously the bins aren't the problem but he called you stupid. How is that okay? I always say to give people a chance to explain but to be honest I'd be afraid he'll talk you around. You're better single than living with someone who upsets you, and if you ever have kids, then what? You'll end up tip toeing around him in case you stress him out. Maybe it's his dad, maybe the buying a house things is worrying him, and maybe this can be fixed but on the other side of it why would either of you stay in a relationship where you're both unhappy? Life is for living and enjoying. Don't feel you owe him because he was a rock for you.

Bunbunbunny · 18/04/2018 12:24

Sounds like he needs some professional help and he needs to see someone for therapy. How long have you been together and has there been any other occasions he’s been like this?

Frequency · 18/04/2018 12:25

How new is the new house? Could it be a case of new house neurosis? I suffer from it badly. I threatened to throw DD's shoes in the skip yesterday because she didn't unpack them immediately. The dog has some slippers on the way because he keeps leaving paw prints on the white floor and I had a massive tantrum with my mother yesterday because she wanted to bring the xmas decorations from the old house and I'm not ready for them yet, dammit!

I did apologise to my mother once I'd calmed down and realised I was BU.

If he's been fine up to now and it's a relatively new house, give him chance to settle in and see how things pan out. If he hasn't calmed down in a few months, it might be time to start re-evaluating the relationship. You're not his skivvy.

Sparklesocks · 18/04/2018 12:47

There's a lot of issues here OP but the main one is that stress/life difficulties does not justify being abusive or treating you with disrespect. We all go through tough stuff but it doesn't mean our partners should bear the brunt.

You need to have a very open, calm conversation with him about how he speaks to you and handles his stress, if he isn't receptive or willing to listen then I'm afraid you might have to re-consider your relationship.

5foot5 · 18/04/2018 13:31

house is just going through should get it end of the month deposit all paid

Not too late to back out. Even if you lose a bit on the deposit it might be worth it in the long term rather than finding yourself tied to this bullying twat.

It won't get better. Get out while you can

Idontdowindows · 18/04/2018 13:33

Really, what Bunbun says. He needs professional help and he needs it now, before you two live together.

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 18/04/2018 13:54

I’m going to suggest therapy to him see if he agrees.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread