AIBU big birthday

[Hellsbellscockleshells]

When it was my significant birthday two years ago my small team at work 5 of us knew it was my birthday but I didn’t make a ‘big song and dance about it’. Two of my team based in the same location as me bought me a bottle of prosecco and sent me a card which was nice. Anyway now it is one of their birthdays in the next few weeks. This person who has been going on and on about her big birthday since before it was my birthday and what she isn’t going to do to celebrate it isn’t worth talking about. She has been droping her birthday into almost every conversation she has had and bragging about her celebrations since before my birthday and is still going strong with this!!!
I just had low key celebrations (due to a major health scare) and wanting a quiet celebration appreciating the people that mattered most to me DH and DC and my family. Also had a lunch out with a small group of friends including that work colleague who is part of a small group of friends (we still get together regularly and all used to work together previously) and the group insisted on doing something (this colleague made an excuse on the day and didn’t turn up). I also had a night away with DH and we had a 3 days abroad with DC. Anyway the two work colleagues (including the one who didn’t turn up) in my small team out of 5 (we aren’t all based in the same location but all speak regularly) both bought me a bottle of prosecco each and gave me a card which was a nice gesture and appreciated. My other friends each gave me similar small presents ranging from £5 to under £10 earnings wine scarf (one wasn’t working at the time and was really feeling the pinch) etc.
Anyway for this work colleagues birthday so far I have been asked to put into three separate collections but nothing has kicked off yet. One from the group of friends/ex work colleagues they are suggesting putting in between £15-£20, another today from my small work team suggestion is £10 and another collection was suggested a week ago from nearby colleagues on our floor who are arranging a buffet party for her in work of whatever anybody wants to put in. When it was my birthday we didn’t work in this location. Sorry for this long rambling AIBU but AIBU to just buy her a bottle of prosecco and a nice card and declining the other collections or will I look stingy not contributing to one of the two larger collections? AIBU for thinking that she is more well liked than me at work or is it because she has gone on and on about her birthday celebrations that no one has an excuse to forget? What would you do?

It’s not possible to say whether she is ‘more liked than you - more likely the birthday activities/presents are because of the constant reminders. Surely nobody expects you to contribute to every collection? Perhaps you could contribute to one collection, or buy a bottle and a card. Either would be just fine.

Well one of the collections is for buffet food, not a gift, so if you want to go to the party then obviously you need to contribute. For the others I would either contribute to one or just sort something yourself. I really wouldn't take it as a sign she's more liked than you, just that she's obviously made it clear that's it's a big deal for her so people want to do a big thing to celebrate.

I hate this kind of shit. 'Big' birthday, big fucking deal once you're past the age of, say 18. Very silly to expect work colleagues to fork out for birthdays of any sort. I wouldn't bother contributing to any of these collections or going to the buffet. Just get her a card and a bottle of fizz.

The other colleagues from the bigger team that are putting the buffet on for her are having a collection for a present for her and in addition to this people are bringing in cakes and nibbles (they do this for others in their team sometimes but usually only if someone is leaving). As I work pt and opposite days to her I won’t be there as It’s not on a day I work.
The colleague in my team of 5 who has sent the email re a collection is now our manager and she and her only bought me a bottle of prosecco (so I think it’s a bit much expecting me to push the boat out for her and the other two colleagues from other sites didn’t even get me a card. So naturally I feel a little bit miffed.
I wouldn’t be contributing to all the collections just one or getting her some fizz and a card.

No I wouldn't contribute either I'd just say I'm buying my own gift for her and leave it at that.

I would contribute to one thing, or do my own thing, and no contribution to the buffet I wasn’t attending.

Thanks feeling quite pressured and feeling like I might need to justify myself. She’s also suggesting we go on a spa day with afternoon tea (have put a lot of weight on and I declined that due to not wanting to spend time in a bathing suit at my current weight with work colleagues and some of her friends) which she wasn’t suited about.
In addition to this she is planning a big party with four of her friends who have big birthdays this year none I know, in a large venue which she has invited me to but it is a couple of months off.
She has also invited me and ex work colleague/friends to pay for an expensive meal out and cocktails (but she hasn’t decided on the date yet) and she is having a house party for everyone, this doesn’t include her big birthday holiday with her family. A Vintage tea party with her other friends, hotel stay for her and DH in a £300 a night hotel and a tea party at home for her family. Plus weekend away with another friend. I am so sick of hearing about it all I don’t want to go.

I never contributed to office collections and made it widely known that I didn’t want any for me, including when I left.

I always put in for others collections when people’s dads have died or someone got married etc. But due to only getting a bog standard bottle of Prosecco (Morrison’s own). I begrudge spending a tenner or more in similar circumstances for her.