AIBU to let 6 month old watch tv

[whoopsiedaisies]

AIBU letting my 6mo watch kids tv whilst I tidy up and make a cuppa? Feel guilty, not sure if I should, but means I get ten mins to myself to get sorted a bit!

We don't ban ourselves, just always seem to have other stuff to do. It wouldn't occur to me to sit down and watch TV during the day, unless a film.or similar in winter. Obviously with #1 I would watch CSI while feeding for hours, but with #2 and #3 I don't sit down for long enough. And if we did sit down to watch something it would be kid focused I guess.

My older two (6 and 7) have free rein over the TV, and probably average an hour a day. Normally half an hour in the morning and then again in the afternoon. They're home educated so home all day, but they're busy doing other things. They tend to go on Netflix or YouTube and find stuff related to their interests...so we have a lot of Lego, horse riding, skateboarding, Cupcake Gemma etc 😁😂

I’m struggling with this at the moment. DD is almost 5 months, and ideally I’d be in the ‘no TV before at least 2’ camp, but turns out she has severe reflux, so can’t lie flat for long, barely naps during the day (although fortunately sleeps brilliantly at night) and isn’t content to be left with toys/in front of the washing machine etc (believe me, I’ve tried!). So there’s virtually no downtime and during the day I get very little done other than interacting with her.

I caved quite early on and let her watch a bit of CBeebies. She loved it, but I felt it was a bit too frenetic. So we’ve ended up buying DVDs of some nature documentaries and old kids’ series like Trumpton and Bagpuss, which are slower and less visually full-on. She happily watches 10-20mins of this a few times a week, and it gives me a much needed break when I get desperate. Probably still not ideal, but I refuse to be a martyr and need to keep my sanity for both my own and DD’s sake!

I have a friend who believed in no TV and constant stimulation. Her children have no ability to be independent from her. We have never limited screen time and use it as down time, particularly now she doesn't nap and she's doing well. Programmes like Cbeebies (Alphablocks, Numberblocks, Go Jetters and Do you Know) are all educational. Even at 6 months we played songs and nursery rhymes. Sometimes I just needed 10 minutes to clear my head.

Just out of interest what exactly happens to their brains on their second birthday that makes TV OK?

I chose not to have the tv on at all whilst my child was awake until he was 18 months. He also had no screen time at all until after 20 months - although he knew that tablets/phones take photos!

He now watches a particular 20 minute long children's show every couple of days, if he shows interest. He does enjoy it, but doesn't seem to want to watch every day.

My decisions were based on neuroscience, psychology and neurobiology research (I have a degree in this field), and suited our lifestyle.

The whole no TV under X age thing is completely impossible when you have older children.

It doesn't harm them. The "harm" is simply the fact that they could be doing more enriching things with their time. Of course if you compare a baby sat in front of a TV for 10 hours a day vs a baby who is read to, interacted with, explores textures and motor control and so on for those 10 hours, the one not watching TV is going to be better off developmentally, but it's not the TV which has damaged them, it's the lack of other things. A baby who is stuck in a cot in an underfunded orphanage and ignored for the 10 hours is likely to be even worse off than the TV addict baby.

For ten minutes at a time? Give yourself a break and do nice things with them for ten minutes another time to make up for it. Job done.

The AAP recommendation, it's recently come out, they made it up. They pulled the figure out of the air. They have admitted this because now the research backs it up - but it makes me sceptical. There is no magic switch as others have said. Be sensible and if you're overly reliant on TV for an excessive amount of time then maybe look into whether you're depressed or something but a small amount of TV used in a controlled way in order to get a parent a break is absolutely no problem at all, do not feel guilty about this.

We didn’t let DD watch tv until she was 2. At 3 she is allowed maybe 20 minutes on weekend/holiday days when baby DS is napping. We do have children’s music on a fair bit and god awful children’s audio books instead.

I don't think anyone disbelieves that a parent can make a conscious choice not to use TV, if it works for you that's fine.

What people get narky about is the sanctimonious tone people (not everyone!) use about this decision as if to express how superior they are and how if they can do it, everyone can do it!

Well, sure, but people have different priorities, you know? I never let my baby cry or sleep trained him but I know other people do this and their parenting is fine. Some people don't use nappies and watch their baby for every wee and poo. Some don't put the baby down until they start to crawl. Some people have vast reserves of patience and manage their children's behaviour effectively with nary a raised voice or a punishment. Some people adhere to a very strict diet with no processed foods or refined sugars. Some home educate. Some introduce a second language to their children whether they themselves speak it or not - there are a whole enormous pool of possible things you can do with your children, but not everybody finds the same things as important or easy as each other or decides to dedicate the same amount of time to goals. Certainly you can't do ALL of these things or you would go utterly and totally mad, since a lot of them require quite the investment of a significant amount of mental energy.

My first didn't watch much telly at home till I got Pg with my second really, so he was about 2.5y.

My second knows the names of all the telly tubbies at 20 months!

I went back to work when mine were about 1 so it's quite easy not to have the telly on on weekdays when you are not around all day. It ends up on when I have to get up early with the baby at the mo, just gives a bit of time to wake up!

DD loved Bert & Ernie and Elmo at that age. She used to giggle like anything at Rubber Duckie. I'm pretty relaxed about TV to be honest and DD very rarely watches more than I think is good for her and often goes days without even mentioning it.

Don't give yourself a hard time OP.

To be honest this is one of those 'only on Mumsnet' things for me - I don't know anyone who's that strict about TV with their kids in real life, and I know lots of very middle class, organic food, studied developmental literature, home crafts-types.

DD was a tv addict from the moment she sat in front of it. She suffered from terrible colic until she was 14 months old, didn't sleep through a night and my life was one of just surviving until the end of the day. If her watching TV meant I could keep going, then it was the right thing to do. She continued to watch TV mornings and evenings until she was a teen.

She's now 18, doesn't have a TV in her room and never comes down to watch it. She will only occasionally watch programmes on her laptop. She will be on her way to study medicine in September. I think I can conclude that watching TV as a baby and child didn't do her much harm!

Anecdotes aren't evidence btw. If neuroscientists are suggesting there may be a negative effect for watching tv as a baby I'd rather follow the science personally than some random anecdotes on the internet.

I have put the odd Caspar Babypants video on though as it's the only way to keep her still long enough to cut her nails

It is to do with attention span as much as anything isn't it? The more bright, noisy, fast paced stuff you watch the more dull real life looks.

To be honest this is one of those 'only on Mumsnet' things for me - I don't know anyone who's that strict about TV with their kids in real life, and I know lots of very middle class, organic food, studied developmental literature, home crafts-types.

Ditto. What universe do these people live on!

A very normal one, most parents I know don't allow unlimited screens and keep it to a minimum when little

Theducksarenotmyfriends - the link that AfricanPlume posted to is well worth a read. The science really isn't as robust as people seem to think.

A very normal one, most parents I know don't allow unlimited screens and keep it to a minimum when little

I’m not referring to limiting screen time, but prohibiting all tv until 2yo.

I had my DS strapped into a bouncer facing the tv when he was only a few months! Sometimes a girl needs a break and those lights and sounds shut my DS like nothing else! Definitely don't feel guilty, most baby/kids channels quite be quite educational anyway - teaching shapes & colours etc. I have the tv on all day anyway on itv or something as i like background noise and only switch to kids channels when I needed a shower or uninterrupted food/brew. Now DS is 3 he demands certain shows on as his background noise even when busy playing with something else or if we're in a different room asks for smooth radio!

Crap mom here. Ds spent at least half his first 18 months in hospital and they have their own telly for their bed once in children's ward. It was on sun up to sun down except meal times (nil by mouth for months so we made that nap time!!) . Obviously we turned it off / away when we played, read etc but after each op when he was flat on his back there was a limit to how much of just me he wanted. He loves certain shows now at 3, will rifle through his kids DVDs for the right one but also rarely sits and watches it for long, he's happy playing. Given option of water and garden or telly he'll pick outside in any weather!! And we do the dreadful telly on during dinner because if he has to sit and eat with just us talking he loses interest / overthinks it and won't eat. Everyone involved is fine with it and he is developing ahead of expectAtions-for him (additional needs so not a stealth brag at child genius, just observation that we clearly aren't screwing him up)

I wouldn't be sane without my morning brew and a bit of GMB. So yeah, baby is exposed to that each morning. That's about it.

TV was something we generally avoided and only watched sometimes until I got pregnant with number two (when DD was nearly 1 1/2). I've had a difficult pregnancy with lots of bed rest, and we have no family around so honestly it sometimes felt like the only choice. I'm doing better now, but still allow DD to watch some TV.

I think it's important to limit TV somewhat, (as I don't think it's good for it to always be on), however a bit of TV is fine imo. I encourage DD to play independently when I want a little break which she's pretty good at now, but when I'm cooking dinner she's always getting herself into mischief so I let her watch some then.

Both of mine watched night garden and the like from babyhood.

Both speak 3 languages. The 4.5 year old still watches In the night garden. No lasting damage

Hello, just wanted to share this little video about a report on Screen Time from Children in Northern Ireland - I think it raises some really interesting points. You can watch here: youtu.be/rhI_F3X2Oa0