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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the children .....

62 replies

siblingrevelryagain · 16/04/2018 20:56

I’m canvassing opinion, as I am really torn about whether my idea is ok or madness.

I’m a single parent of 3 children; 11, 9 & 6. I cant exercise regularly due to working full time and childcare, so I thought I could do the following safely; wake the eldest (abt 7, when he’s usually up anyway), he comes downstairs whilst the other two either sleep or watch tv with him (what they do each morning anyway), and I walk around the block for approx 15-20 mins. He has his phone, with instructions to call me if I’m not back within 20/25 mins. If he can’t raise me he is then to call my parents or sister who live nearby.

The children are all sensible and well behaved and wouldn’t attempt to cook or do anything other than sit watching tv until I came home.

My radar is probably not the best to judge; I’m usually overly cautious with safety, but equally I think I’ve mitigated the risks?

OP posts:
CurlsandCurves · 16/04/2018 21:32

Can you plan a route whereby you can’t stick your head round the door after 10 mins or so? Bit boring for you, but it’d give you peace of mind.

CurlsandCurves · 16/04/2018 21:33

Can’t? Can!

thanksamillion · 16/04/2018 21:33

Can the 6yo cycle? You could run/fast walk with them cycling along.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 16/04/2018 21:36

Take them with you. Kids that age can manage 15/20 minutes walking. My DCs at previous primary ran a mile each morning round their pitch.

Mydoghatesthebath · 16/04/2018 21:37

Mine were capable at looking after siblings at that age but you can home exercise. Blimey at 6 we all used to play our by ourselves with other kids but hey ho times change

Fundays12 · 16/04/2018 21:42

I don’t think it’s a good idea as your youngest is still only 6but you could do a home dvd work out such as Jillian Michaels in 20 to 30 minutes before they get up or after they go to bed. I did this for a couple of years before I could afford to join a gym.

Ellapaella · 16/04/2018 21:42

Agree take them with you. Go to a field/park and take a football and run round with them. Play chase (games like bulldog etc), get them on bikes/scooters with you while
You run, you'll all benefit and now summers coming it's going to be much easier to do. I think 11 is young to take on such a big responsibility. Maybe at 13, but personally I wouldn't do this to an 11 year old.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 16/04/2018 21:43

Has the 11 year old ever been home on their own? If not It's quite a big step from never being home alone to being responsible for 2 children on a regular basis. could you take the kids? or at least the younger ones, maybe with scooters/bikes if they have them so you aren't stuck at child speed.

RedSkyAtNight · 16/04/2018 21:45

Take the DC to the park and run/walk laps round the playground while they play?

Odoreida · 16/04/2018 21:45

You know your kids - if the 11 year old is mature then it really should be fine. If you think the little one would worry then definitely not.

WatchoutDSisdriving · 16/04/2018 21:45

I wouldn’t as the oldest is too young to be in charge.

I’d look on your local Facebook selling site for a treadmill or cross trainer. There are quite a few available at a decent price usually.

TheFishInThePot · 16/04/2018 21:46

I would, 15 - 20 minutes when they would probably sleep anyway, I'm surprised at the response tbh.

NorahChangedHerName · 16/04/2018 21:52

There are some brilliant yoga clips on YouTube and you'd be surprised how quickly they help you tone up and lose weight. You could buy some dumbbells and exercise with these. As a pp mentioned also, HIIT at home. Resistance bands brilliant too!

kaytee87 · 16/04/2018 21:55

6 is too young to be left.

Can you not exercise with the children? Or do a dvd work out at home?

Carriecakes80 · 16/04/2018 21:55

Just a quick reminder though, HIIT isn't for everyone, and if done by someone who isn't used to exercise can cause more damage than good, so actually, a 20 minute walk here and there to build up her fitness is perfect, then she can do more, until her body is more ready for HIIT.
My best friend is a trainer, has been for years and the amount of people she has seen who have ended up far worse off than before because they have jumped into this. Condition your body first with longer walks, playing with the kids outside more, otherwise if people jump into intensive exercise without gearing up first, it can cause damage to the immune system, cause insomnia, mess up your appetite and even release cortisol, which in turn can make you more likely to put on fat. And so endeth the waffling. :-)

Suzietwo · 16/04/2018 21:55

It depends on kids and area (eg I send mine to park alone aged 6 and 8 but I live in a village and they can get there without crossing roads).
But there’s no need. Plenty of at home videos to do and if you’re bored of body weight stuff but a kettle bell

wowbutter · 16/04/2018 21:59

Younger children asleep, older child can call if they wake and need you?
Yep, why not do it. Would you go in the garden and exercise? Same thing.
Go and get some head space. As long as eleven year old is awake and knows to call, you're fine.
All these people freaking out are being a bit precious. In my opinion.

FittonTower · 16/04/2018 22:03

My parents used to leave me at 11 with my 3 and 7 year old siblings for short periods. I was a very responsible 11 year old and it was all absolutly fine. I think it depends on the 11 year old.

LittleMe03 · 16/04/2018 22:09

Do your children have bikes op?

Could they have a bike ride whilst you walk/jog/run with them?

slippermaiden · 16/04/2018 22:11

I think it sounds fine. But what about using skipping rope in the garden? Takes 5 minutes and burns a lot of calories!

Catspaws · 16/04/2018 22:11

I would think that would be ok if they are sensible children and if you're only ever a few minutes walk away in case of an emergency.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 16/04/2018 22:12

I'd be fine with the 11 & 9 year old for that length of time, probably not the 6 year old.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 16/04/2018 22:14

It does depend on the 6 year old I suppose. I currently have 6 year old twins who have taken to having surfing competitions on the stairs and one got their leg stuck in the banisters which we had to knock out! Don't want to put my 13 year old off looking after his siblings for life so we're holding off for a while!

Sara107 · 16/04/2018 22:14

I really don't see the problem here. You know your kids and you don't seem worried that they will be rioting when your back is turned. You say the two youngsters would likely be asleep anyway and 11 is perfectly old enough to phone you. I have started leaving my 8 year old for short periods ( eg 20 mins). I've told her to turn the key in the lock after I go and don't open the door to anyone she doesn't recognise. Also, she is not to go and play out if her friend knocks! If you do a brisk walk or run first thing in the morning it will give you a bit of peacefulmtime to yourself and get your circulation going - I think it will set you up for the day, so go for it!

MothQuandary · 16/04/2018 22:17

You know your kids best and if you think they will be OK, they probably will.

However, HIIT is much better. I did it for only ten minutes a day every day and really noticed a difference within a couple of weeks - honestly!. I think, if you are a total beginner, every other day is plenty. You will see a difference quite quickly if you keep at it.