To feel like a rubbish parent?

[Teachtolive]

DC2 is 6 months old. Here is the list of things I can't get her to do:

• get off the breast and onto formula
• eat any food without making a face like I'm feeding her arsenic
• self settle

-fall asleep in her father's arms

• fall asleep without a breast feed

As a result my other dc (Age 2) is suffering cos I'm at my wits end since I have no real time to myself and am frustrated. I can't do anything with dc2 alone so we're losing closeness. I adore my children but I'm angry, sad and tired. Am I just crap at parenting?

You are not a crap parent! I would let some of the things you mention go straight away such as - going on to formula, worrying about how much solid food she has. Maybe try some water or ebm in a cup when you offer her food but don't stress about it.

I understand about wanting to.spend.time with your older dd. It is an important thing to keep in mind, so again 6ou are a good Mum for recognising it.

You can do things with her between feeds while her Dad holds or looks after baby. Baby won't be adversely affected even if she does make a fuss about this! You can do things with her with baby in a sling. You can give hee some time.adter baby is down.for the night .

But you sound a lovely parent.

It's good to know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. It's very tough at the moment though, particularly when my one success of the day with her (getting her to take 3 oz of formula) has been completely marred cos she took a breastfeed in the middle of it and so when she finished the formula promptly threw it all up. Some days I just feel so beaten by the whole thing.

At 6 months I’d expect to be starting weaning and maybe reducing breast feeding, 6 months is still a very little baby. Can you get someone to babysit for a few hours, maybe you just need a break?

Spartacus I was actually really looking forward to the faces. DC1 just ate everything with a permanent "Yes, this is acceptable" face. But DC2 makes "bleurgh" face for everything and then starts to cry :(

There is light at the end of the tunnel! I think it's hard because you had an 'easy' baby the first time! What you are going through is totally normal! It's a phase which will pass.

I agree about the pouches, Aldi do pretty good organic ones for 50p.

@Lightsong just out of interest, how did you going back to work with a bottle refusing child work? I'm in exactly the same situation!

I went back to work two days a week when DS was 6 months, fortunately my work is a 5 minute drive away from home so I popped home to feed him on my lunch break until he was 9 months when I returned to full time. After this he managed with just morning feed and then straight after work. I know this only worked because I was lucky living so close to my workplace, but looking back I could probably have dropped the lunchtime feed earlier on, say when he was 7 months. By then I knew that if he was truly hungry he could have a bowl of porridge or a piece of toast until I got home.

My 11 month old can't do most of your list, he has literally only just started eating really well. My 2.5 year old can't self settle either and never took a bottle, I could get her to come off the breast until she was 2 either.

Stop being hard on yourself- you are doing a great job. Keep persevering with the bottle or try a sippy cup instead.