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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with DS's teacher

31 replies

Gingerninj · 16/04/2018 11:04

DS is in year 1, his teacher left just before the Christmas holidays and a new one started. He's very dyslexic and was diagnosed about a year ago, he's struggled with this but his old teacher was very understanding and made sure he had a lot of extra help with his reading and literacy. On one of the first days of having this teacher he was very upset at home time because she wanted everyone to stay in class rather than having some children go out with the teaching assistant in a smaller group for a bit of extra which had always happened before. DS said he didn't understand what was going on and couldn't do his work which caused him to get in trouble. When the same happen the day after I spoke with his teacher and she said she wanted to see for herself who needed the extra help, I understood that but also made it very clear DS really needs the help. We had parents evening a few weeks ago and she commented on how he's not trying with his reading and writting. I know I'm not there to see him during school but I honestly don't think that's the case, it's just going to take him a lot longer than the other kids. He still struggles to write his name for god sake and she still can't see this isn't just him not wanting to try. The other day she kept him behind at break for not finishing his work so I asked to see how much work he had done (It was a task where they fill in the missing words) and he'd done half of it. that doesn't sound great but I'm really happy with that. It's like she's not listening to a word I'm saying and simply assumes he's badly behaved child and I'm in denial of it

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 16/04/2018 11:07

How old is he? She sounds absolutely AWFUL! In your position I would be making an appointment with the SENCO and the Head Teacher immediately.

Fruitcorner123 · 16/04/2018 11:09

I agree speak to the SENCO

pudcat · 16/04/2018 11:11

You need to see the SENCO as soon as possible. The new teacher should not ignore intervention methods put in place and nor should she make a child miserable.

digestOfDigest · 16/04/2018 11:12

It sounds like she wants to see him working for herself, see where he struggles and where he doesn't.

I agree with her approach.

Dyslexic children can be badly behaved.

Gingerninj · 16/04/2018 11:14

@AjasLipstick He turned 6 last December

OP posts:
ILikeMyChickenFried · 16/04/2018 11:15

Its one thing wanting to judge the children's abilities and difficulties by herself, another punishing him for struggling.

I assume he's not messing around, just taking a while over the work because it's difficult?

digestOfDigest · 16/04/2018 11:17

I agree ChickenFried but why are you assuming he isn't messing around?

Nemophilist · 16/04/2018 11:19

Get senco involved.

mummyof2boys30 · 16/04/2018 11:19

Have you spoke to the senco. That would be my first port of call. Though the senco at my sons school isnt much help

Spikeyball · 16/04/2018 11:20

Does he have an iep? Is the senco already involved?

Wheresthebeach · 16/04/2018 11:39

Presumably you have an Ed Phys report that outlines what support he should have, and what his issues are.

Ask for a meeting with Senco and the Teacher to go through the report and agree how your son will be supported in class and the best ways for him to be encouraged. Ignore the past - focus on getting change for the future.

peacheachpearplum · 16/04/2018 11:39

So she has been teaching him for a term? Surely that is long enough to work out he needs help, it is 1/3 of the year for heaven's sake. I'd be asking her if she has a problem assessing children and does she need some help.

I would definitely take this higher, SENCo or Head. I think the trouble is if he is getting into trouble for not doing things that he can't do he might give up because what's the point of trying. One of my GC is dyslexic and he has caught up but it took till year 5 for him to find his way and that was with lots of help.

Hope you get it sorted.

Bekabeech · 16/04/2018 11:39

Speak to the SENCO urgently. Is this teacher new to teaching or been out for a while? It sounds as if she needs someone speaking to her asap.

GnotherGnu · 16/04/2018 11:40

Is he on SEN Support? If not he clearly should be. You may need to point out that punishing him for his dyslexia by keeping him in for unfinished work is clear disability discrimination.

Juells · 16/04/2018 11:46

Dyslexic children can be badly behaved.

FFS! They can't do what other children do, and need help. Because I moved a lot when my children were small, younger daughter wasn't diagnosed with dyslexia until she was sixteen. Head teacher claimed it was used as an excuse by middle class parents who couldn't accept their child wasn't a high achiever. That attitude is still around.

holiday101 · 16/04/2018 11:46

OP please go to the SENCO or head of KS1 and speak to them. Very sadly we learned from experience that some teachers do not believe in certain SEN and deem them lazy or not making enough effort. This teacher sounds like one of those. My ds had a terrible year with a teacher once and ended up being referred to CAHMS for anxiety and school refusal (he was Y3) Funnily enough he had been doing really well the year before and the next year also got back to his normal self.

A friend of mine is a SENCO and said it is astounding how many teachers have reservations about dyslexia/ADHD/ASD and think it is a 'bad behaviour' or laziness issue.

FairiesVsPixies · 16/04/2018 11:47

He shouldn't be punished for not being able to keep up with the work. This is the whole reason kids with dyslexia get extra time in their gcses fgs.
It doesn't take much for a child with dyslexia to become despondent, give up and start mucking about, my teen ds is one. Maybe the teacher doesn't believe in dyslexia - I've had a couple of those in my time.
Definitely speak to SENCO, you need to nip this in the bud.

KurriKurri · 16/04/2018 11:52

I would be very annoyed to - I had similar with my dyslexic son. Some teachers will not accept dyslexia and will not implement any plans you have in place to help your child in school. Sounds like this woman is one of them.

For the poster who said he may be messing around and dyslexic children can be badly behaved. Yes he may be but that too may be because of his dyslexia, he will be totally at sea not understanding what is going on, struggling, possibly bored, probably tired (dyslexic children have to put so much more effort in to do things that they tire easily). he's six years old - at that age children who are struggling often present with poor behaviour.

He needs specialist help - the teacher has had since just after Christmas to do any 'assessing' she needs to - more than enough time, especially since he has already been assessed and was on a plan to help him which she has disregarded.

As for not trying with his reading and writing - he is probably trying harder than any other child in the class - but because he has a learning disability he is failing, She is setting him up to fail which is appalling.

I had to fight very hard for my son to get the help he needed (it was all a question of cost) I had hoped things were better now (my DS is now 33) but it seems not. I would definitely take it higher OP - your boy deserves better than this teacher.

Sad to see there is still so much ignorance regarding dyslexia.

Vangoghsear · 16/04/2018 11:56

I would write a letter to the HT setting out your concerns and specifically commenting on your view of son's progress in the first term when he had extra help and his lack of progress in the second term. The teacher's behaviour is odd given that she will be held to account for his progress. Personally I would skip speaking to the SENCO and go straight to the HT if this has been going on for some time and your discussions with the teacher have not resulted in any change.

VimFuego101 · 16/04/2018 11:57

I understand wanting to make her own assessment of him, but she's had an entire term to do that now and I would expect there to be a clear plan in place for how to support him. Sounds like the SENCO is your best bet.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 16/04/2018 12:00

@digestOfDigest - I think your comment "Dyslexic children can be badly behaved." is truly awful and not at all helpful to the OP.

Dyslexic children, if they are not given the support they need to keep themselves occupied during class can get distracted and lose interest in the topic at hand. I would not consider this being badly behaved. They are just not getting the necessary help and support to keep them busy and focussed.

fuckingjournocunts · 16/04/2018 12:04

My dd was assessed for her EHCP in one afternoon so if the teacher can't assess him by now then she's useless.
Go to the SENCO as this teacher will be undoing all his hard work if she is allowed to carry on with what she's doing. Poor boy.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/04/2018 12:10

@digestOfDigest - I think your comment "Dyslexic children can be badly behaved." is truly awful and not at all helpful to the OP.

Why is it truly awful, I assumed it meant that just because the child is dyslexic it doesn't mean they don't behave badly rather than they behave badly because they are dyslexic.

BertBert · 16/04/2018 12:25

I'm surprised that your son was diagnosed a year ago if he has not long turned 6 - they usually wait until they are at least 7 (might be different in different areas).

Dyslexic children can be naughty - sometimes because they are kids and sometimes to avoid admitting or to cover a difficulty.

Has the teacher been given a copy of the Ed Psych report? If not, they may well be wanting to assess what issues your DS has.

DS1 is dyslexic and his main issue is coding which needs a different approach to someone who has words moving on the page.

sirlee66 · 16/04/2018 12:34

OP, perhaps you could have a look at the work produced with the old teacher and compare to the new? If half was acceptable last term, with the progress he needs to make this term, just over half with the new teacher would be acceptable? Could the amount of work he needs to complete be in an IEP?

Obviously, if DS was completing all work before, but is now only completing half, the new teacher may see it as behaviour or not trying hard enough. So I'd suggest ruling this out?

Could you speak to his TA? She knows how he was before and after the change in teacher and the quality of work he produced.