To think this is the start of it!

[Andsoitstarts]

So... primary school offers day today.
Up pop the Facebook joiners group for different schools.
As not to miss anything I join mine.
And so it begins...
“Let’s all introduce ourselves... my child is Tarquin and you may hear us speaking Russian in the playground as we believe it’s good to immerse him in a second language at all times”
“My daughter is Sophia, she is so ready for school as she’s been reading literature for 10 year olds comfortably for the last year”
Please don’t tell me this is the start.
I feel like commenting “My son is billy, he still picks his nose and wipes it in annoying places and only mastered using a knife a couple of months ago”

For the people going on and on about reading shaming language shaming and what is normal etc that IS NOT the point of this thread.

The point is that instead of saying hello my son's name is x the parent feels the need to insert a glowing reference/boast about their son. Who likes people like that really?

Slightly different but related...I went to a "posh" uni and in our first week we had to introduce ourselves. I said hello my name is Mary, said where I was from etc, most of the rest of the class introduced themselves as my name is something posh followed by "my daddy is a lawyer at xx company". Will never forget it a real eye opener!

This sort of thing was so bad at my eldest two sons’ school that I unintentionally ended up bragging about stuff like being able to wipe bottom by themselves (left handed! They are right handed) and cross the road by themselves. It was ridiculous and the OPs post is totally believable.

I think that maybe people can’t help themselves.

Yes Tarquin’s full name, as I presume it’s double barrelled with his Dad’s name, as his mum only has a single surname so she introduced him by his full name.
And yes, it stated the preschool he had been to, where they had moved from and his siblings names who have been at the school for a few months.
So very outing if I was to screen shot a photo.
Like I said before, believe me or don’t. No odds to me!
Also I’m not bragging about how normal I am! My child cannot use a knife or a tissue! Doubt that’s something to brag about!!!

You do sound a bit sneery OP. The first opportunity to meet your sons classmates parents and you've already got them down as twats.

You're a long time at the school gates, best not to make enemies before you've even got there

Thankfully I know most of the mums already as we have a large sibling intake this year (small school) and most of them are lovely.

Like all life situations, you'll make your own group of friends and steer clear of others.

Good luck

Jesus this whole school thing sounds like a minefield. And that's before we get on to parties.

My antisocial DP will be the one navigating all this as he's the SAHP, so my kids have no chance!

I don’t think OP was mocking the linguistic or literary capabilities of these kids, just the boasting of the parents. Didn’t have FB groups when mine were starting school, thankfully, but these are the kinds of posts I’d expect from the over competitive parents at our school and we’re nowhere near London. OP please, please, please post re nose-picking etc as there will be a load of parents out there desperately hoping that someone will be brave enough to x

Please don’t mock the small child glued to a book.

By all means have a crack at parents who insist little Reuben is superior to your billy because they flog him round ten extra curriculars a week but there’s really nothing unusual or weird about being able to start primary school with a love of, and ability to read, books. That’s a good thing surely?

Thank you for saying this! Being able to read and speak languages is a good thing. People aren't lapping up the OP as an excuse to jump on other imaginary parents with a nasty reverse snobbery because it's a nasty thread. Instead of being a dick to other parents who, if they exist, are likely trying to share a bit about their kids in the hope that they'll find other mums whose kids have similar interests, why not join in with what you posted here?

It's just a nasty thread and extremely unlikely to have actually occurred in the way OP describes.

I was a real bookworm and reading well before I started school, no doubt if social media had been around back then and my mum or dad dared to post a bit about my interests to introduce us they'd have been lynched for showing off.

It's just nasty. And funny how you didn't mention the extra details about Tarquin's mum's post in the OP eh, when your entire point was to point and laugh at how ridiculous it was. Only when people asked for screenshots.

I just find it strange.
You wouldn’t introduce yourself in a new job by saying “Hi, I’m Sarah and you may hear me speaking Russian at all times as I like to immerse myself 100% into a new language”
Or “Hi, I’m Lydia. I’m so glad I’ve started here as I can stretch myself now as I’ve been doing advanced accounting since I was 9”
It’s not about having things in common, or you would say “my child loves drawing, Lego and gymnastics”
I find it braggy and quite honestly I worry about being judged by them as my child can barely cut up their dinner!

Likewise, if I was Sophia’s mum I probably would have written “I’m Sophia’s mum. Sophia is really excited to be starting school, as she absolutely loves books and reading and I think she’ll enjoy having a library to use”
Rather than stating the aged books that she’s been reading.

I find it braggy and quite honestly I worry about being judged by them as my child can barely cut up their dinner! that much is clear, everything you've said is blatantly from a place of deep insecurity. There really is no need to try and tear others down to feel less insecure/less accomplished/less than the other mums.

You wouldn’t introduce yourself in a new job by saying “Hi, I’m Sarah and you may hear me speaking Russian at all times as I like to immerse myself 100% into a new language"

In your OP you said the mum said you may hear them speaking Russian as he's learning it. That's a perfectly fine thing to say and a bit different from starting a new job and saying you'll only be speaking Russian, come on now.

Likewise, if I was Sophia’s mum I probably would have written...

You're not Sophia's mum. People do things differently. If this did happen then people are just sharing trivia about their kids, which is a bit more interesting than 'my kid is named Sophia and she's four', which could be said of every parent (changing the name of course).

The way you would do something doesn't have to be the way others do it. I think, in the nicest way possible, it might be worth having a think about your self esteem and competitiveness and insecurity re your child's progress before he begins, as this attitude will be apparent a mile off and just give the impression you have a chip on your shoulder and are sneering at everyone else whose kids have any kind of skill or talent you deem unusual.

DS2's in yr2 and still has trouble with a knife! 😂

Knives are tricky things!

I was nine before I learned the 'correct' way to use cutlery, fork in the left hand, because my parents never taught me.

I only know what my DC tell me about their friends. There's one girl in DD's class whose DF used to read her reading books to her "because she took so long."

I also find the parent I voice my pride in my DC with most has a DS with LD. She knows that sometimes I just have to tell someone. I also love hearing about her DS's achievements.

I knew there was a good reason not to be on facebook or twitter etc.