Cancer and work

[bie1]

My husband has terminal cancer stomach and liver. On Friday he started choking which we later found was due to the stomach rumour bleeding. He had a transfusion. Then he started bleeding from his bottom. He refused to go back to hospital. My son and I are taking it in turns to monitor him through the night but my son and I work. I can’t leave my husband in case the choking thing happens again. My employers have refused to give me paid compassionate leave (I have taken about 16 hours compassionate leave over the course of 4 months). I don’t know what the guidelines are, any advice?

Thinking of you OP Hope you have managed to get some help.

Thank you for all your kindness! Husband had a severe haemorrhage last week and we were given the advice that should the same thing happen again they will not be able bring him back so husband signed a DNR. He is still in hospital so I told my employer all this and the reply was that they will refer this to HR. It’s a nightmare

bie

JESUS CHRIST what a bunch of sociopathic twunts they are.

Im so sorry you are going through all this.

Get a sick note for stress.
Your employers sound horrendous.
💐

Wishing you well OP.

Employers can be awkward. When my H had cancer, my employer allowed me to take unpaid leave - is that an option? Financially it was difficult but at least I kept my job and could be with him.

Agree with getting finances in order - does your H have any entitlement to sick pay / critical illness cover that would ease the financial burden if you did have to take unpaid leave? Speak to your mortgage provider to maybe give you a payment holiday? Macmillan can give you useful financial advice (parking at hospital, benefits you / your family might be entitled to).

As others have said get signed off with stress! Also I know from my aunt recently passing away from breast cancer that if you have terminal cancer that you are automatically entitled to PIP (possibly the higher rate for both) and they do somewhat back date it so if you haven't already applied I would do so immediately as it will really help with any financial strain!!! So sorry you are all having to go through this!!

We are getting PIP and UC but I think if we go for more benefits they will put the onus onto my son.

I hope UC arent being awkward. Im sorry i cant be more help

just reading what they are putting you through makes me so bloody angry.

The equality Act I believe Cancer is an automatic condition and the court has been tested and carers (you) have been deemed as indirectly discriminated against due to a condition of a loved one. Go off sick with stress and then hit them with this if they start to be difficult about sick pay.
Caveat:- employers only have to make reasonable adjustments and if the business can't afford your sickness then they can sack you and then the onus is on you to then test this in the court. Which obviously would be very stressful and likely you will not want to do. I worked in ITU for years I was always amazed how many employers would sack staff who's immediate family member was critically ill, the second thing was the amount who got burgled mostly because they would advertise the fact which meant house empty.
Positive for you, employers don't tend to like to test the equality act it never makes for good press.

Words fail me, love. Not much in the way of practical advice but thinking of you and yours

You can also get carers’ allowance.