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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friends happy to steal from a restaurant

138 replies

shanefolan29 · 15/04/2018 23:04

A couple of nights ago, myself and an old friend along with 2 of his friends were eating in a restaurant/bar in London. We had drinks too and when we asked for the bill the restaurant mistakenly only charged us for the drinks. The three I was with felt great about it and when I tried to point it out to my friend that we should say something he said no they'd screw us over if they had the chance [as if he personally knew the restaurant which he did not.]

I felt too pressurised to go against the crowd so went along with it and secretly returned later and paid for the food as my conscience would not rest. However it sort of upset me of their morals here, I am no saint but has anybody else ever experienced this sort of thing in a restaurant when out dining?

It baffles me too how we often cite such behaviour to criminals or poverty stricken people from council estates etc when infact all of my friends that night had good jobs and came from comfortable families. I have seen similar behaviour too when at uni when 2 people [both of whom attended private school and came from 'good' families] both fleeced our landlord and ran out on paying their bills.

OP posts:
Qwertytypewriter · 15/04/2018 23:41

I remember in a small cafe, my DS aged about 15, went to get a second drink, and then I saw him say 'this isn't the right change'. The woman looked a bit annoyed and drew breath to answer, and he said 'you gave me a pound too much', and handed it back to her.

I was pleased, she just looked stunned - which is suppose is a bit sad when you think about it!

The only time I'd make an exception is when I've pointed out the error, and the member of staff argues its correct - I have given up at that point and let them undercharge.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 15/04/2018 23:41

I think it would depend on my position in life. There have been times when I’ve been really panicked about restaurant bills and this would’ve been a massive relief... nowadays would I do it? Probably not. But it’s not something I’d lose friends over.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 15/04/2018 23:42

Well as the OP was returning and paying, presumably they were, and why wouldn't they have been? What would you have done, called the police? Doh

Because the group had already actually left without paying the full bill?

Restaurants frequently call the police if a group of diners leave without paying. They might have already done so, having clocked the error.

Going back to pay later doesn't always make it right, no. The theft has already occurred.

Doh.

starsorwater · 15/04/2018 23:43

The waiting staff would have had to make up the bill. I know, I've had to, thank you for paying.

Original poster
shanefolan29 · 15/04/2018 23:45

''Do 'we'? Are 'we' really putting 'criminal or poverty-stricken people from council estates' into one can't-be-trusted box?

I think on that, you speak for yourself, despite the rest of your OP, OP.''

well no I was not speaking for myself here, I am speaking on the view many in society hold-that all criminal activity or unsociable bad behaviour is carried out by the lower classes because of reasons like poverty when this infact is not true. As somebody who has worked in schools and hospitals over the past 2 decades, I can tell you this view is too often used to justify all bad behaviour these days by those in authority. If a school has students from mostly council estates the school will unfairly instantly get a bad reputation and managers will use it as an excuse for everything that goes wrong.

OP posts:
Qwertytypewriter · 15/04/2018 23:45

Because the group had already actually left without paying the full bill?

Restaurants frequently call the police if a group of diners leave without paying

But they did not leave without paying! They paid the bill they were given - the restaurant making a mistake and undercharging is not the same as a group doing a runner!

EveningHare · 15/04/2018 23:46

Not stealing exactly but I have a group of fiends who don't tip! If their food comes to say £31.75 they will take their 25p change

nothing at all like stealing - tipping should be outlawed

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 15/04/2018 23:48

But they did not leave without paying! They paid the bill they were given - the restaurant making a mistake and undercharging is not the same as a group doing a runner!

Of course, I realise that. They still left the restaurant knowing that they hadn't paid for the food eaten.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/04/2018 23:49

I didn't pay for a train ticket the other night. The ticket machine on the station wasn't working; I went onto the other platform to seek another machine and there wasn't one; I was ready and willing to pay if there had been a guard on the train, but there wasn't, and then when I got off the train, there was no one to ask or tell or offer to pay... So I just went about my general business and didn't bother.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 15/04/2018 23:49

yes it's stealing (if you notice) and no sugarcoating will change that.
op you did the right thing and it would be a cold day in hell before i let the group forget or go out with them again.
lying and stealing are particular pet peeves of mine.

UrsulaPandress · 15/04/2018 23:50

We used to eat out very regularly at a local restaurant. Three times they forgot to put the second bottle of wine on the bill and three times we told them. The fourth time we thought nah, can't be arsed. Next time we went in they mentioned to us that we hadn't told them but they would let it go.

🤔

makeitalargegin · 15/04/2018 23:52

Well done op for going back and paying!

I used to be a waitress many moons ago. I had a table, for some reason when I took them the bill, there was a previous bill from another table. The books we used to hand the bill over in had pockets for cards. So the table left the money and I had a big table so was dealing with them. So didn't get chance straight away to sort the bill out.
What they did was leave money from the previous bill, they must have known as it was a lot cheaper!
It was horrible, I ended up having to pay for it myself. Still makes me angry to this day, whole day wages gone.

AngelL7 · 15/04/2018 23:55

That’s awful, you done the right thing OP! There have been times I have been given too much change or given goods twice by mistake - I’ve always corrected them as it’s the right thing to do.

A friend of mine told me he was standing behind someone at the ATM and they forgot to lift their cash (£20) so he pocketed it before the machine could take it back in. Only a week later he drunkenly forgot to take his £100 from the ATM and someone pocketed it. Karma is a bitch 😁

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2018 23:56

Restaurants frequently call the police if a group of diners leave without paying. They might have already done so, having clocked the error.

It wasnt theft and the police would not be interested. They asked for the bill and paid the bill they were given, they didnt do a runner.

And from what the OP has said, it doesnt sound like the restaurant even realised what had happened.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/04/2018 23:58

How did you do this?

You must have admitted leaving the restaurant without paying? The restaurant staff were okay with that?

I've returned and paid before. Friend got sloppy drunk and we had to remove her. She tried to kiss me and all sorts. There may have been attempted dancing on the tables. Everyone thought everyone else had paid. Went back the next day and the staff thought it was hilarious. Properly pointing and laughing. We paid. We frequented the place again (without that friend).

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/04/2018 00:00

They still left the restaurant knowing that they hadn't paid for the food eaten.

No, they left knowing that they hadnt been charged for the food eaten. Totally different.

Morally I agree it was shitty, but if the restaurant didnt charge them for the food and they paid hte bill presented then they have done nothing legally wrong.

kungpopanda · 16/04/2018 00:04

This reply has been deleted

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FrangipaniBlue · 16/04/2018 00:05

Typo but yes @mintkat !! Lol

and to those saying not tipping isn't stealing, I didn't say it was, I was likening the situation to eating out with friends with "questionable" behaviour....... Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/04/2018 00:14

Frangipani tipping is a very emotive subject on MN!

Pleasebepolite · 16/04/2018 00:16

As a restaurant owner I can tell you that this is normal. Not only that but we have to deal with people that eat 99% of their meal! only to tell the waitress/waiter that there was a problem with it, steak under/over-cooked etc, too salty blah blah blah. If you do nothing about it you suddenly come across a tripadvisor review about the poor food or "tinned" soup.

We used to put nice things around to add to the ambience but they only improved customer's homes as that's where they usually ended up. They even take pictures off the wall and the hand soap. This is not a rough area but an affluent Norfolk village.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/04/2018 00:17

Frangipani tipping is a very emotive subject on MN!

It is. I judge people very harshly who don't tip. One of the management team at work stated she doesn't normally and I really feel differently about her as a result. I do now live somewhere where tipping is basically mandatory, but I always tipped.

NellythePink · 16/04/2018 00:21

Haha, it's very obvious who doesn't tip on this thread! Tight as a duck's arse, the lot of you

Freyanna · 16/04/2018 00:26

Shane Are you going to tell your friend you went back and paid the bill?

I woudn't go out with the other two again.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/04/2018 00:27

I find that people who have done the job are the ones who always tip, its the reason I always do unless the service is terrible. Those who have never served , never tip because "no one tips me for doing my job!" without considering the irony that (in the place I used to work anyway) most of them got performance related bonuses would no doubt raise hell if they didnt get them!

Gwenhwyfar · 16/04/2018 00:33

I thought you meant stolen glasses. I was at a restaurant the other day and they were talking about stealing glasses. I was scared they were serious because stealing glasses from pubs seemed to be the only acceptable theft when I was a student.

I don't think not correcting a bill is theft though. It's more like finding money on the street and not going to the police - and I even think the police don't handle lost property any more anyway.