To think late 20s is a confusing and weird time of life?

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This, really. Of course different stages in life present different challenges, and late 20s is still very young in the scheme of things. However it doesn't seem as forgiving as the early 20s, especially as 30 approaches - my single friends are focusing on their careers, my married friends are starting to have babies. I feel paths starting to split between those friends with mortgages and babies, and those who are still very much focused on themselves and their careers and gym and travel etc. I'm somewhere in the middle, married but no children and I'm feeling this invisible pressure from nowhere in particular to be swept along the children and mortgage path, but I know I'm just not ready for that. However I feel too old to be out being wild and reckless like in my teens and early 20s - no one my age seems to be doing that anymore. Things seem to have gotten very serious and 'adult', so to speak, and I'm not sure I feel at ease with it.

Does/did anyone else feel the same way at this age? There are plenty of movies about the push and pull people feel at this age between 'adult' life and the life they had just a few years before e.g. The Lifeguard, The Last Kiss so I'm interested to know where you were at at this age and how you reconciled it.

I was pretty settled by my late 20s tbh, but then I never followed a standard path through life. I had my DS as a single mum at 19, got a secure council tenancy at 20, so I was living in a place of my own since then. Partied a lot, travelled a bit, and had flings through my early 20s, then met current DH at 28 which was when I started to feel settled. I started a second degree when I was 27 so I had a bit of a career change as well. I think it's less about age and more about the choices you make. I often felt more mature than my peers because of the responsibilities that I had. I think it also depends on where you are in the country - I moved back to London in my early 20s and most people don't start the whole mortgage and children thing until mid 30s at least.

I felt like this, didn’t know how to be young when I was young! Somehow ended up married with mortgage, kids, decent job by my late twenties and feel like I’ve finally got it sorted now at mid thirties. DC are older so have a lot more freedom and a lovely life with lots of exciting hobbies which encourage travel etc whereas a lot of my friends are just getting married and starting to think about babies. I don’t envy them now for the record.

A lot will happen for you in a few short years I’d expect, same as it did for me so don’t worry too much about where you’re going, it all falls into place somehow.

It is a difficult transitional time and there is no right path.

Try and focus on what you want to do, invest in career, friendships, your relationship and most importantly - yourself.

I actually really loved late twenties but my friends were all firmly in the ‘career and fun’ camp not the marriage and babies camp although most people were in serious LTRs.

We were all happier and had more confidence in ourselves than early twenties. Our careers were taking off. We still had loads of energy. We looked good. We had more cash than we’d ever had before. And we had London at our disposal.

I mean, we still look good etc but mid thirties I do find I’m rather more tired and not so keen to go out out!

I agree OP!

I was a teen Mum but still managed to get some nights out with friends. Approaching mid-late twenties everyone was coupling up, settling down, establishing careers, having babies. My babies were already well out of baby stage so not interested in softplay while Mum chatted with a friend. I got a bit panicky and started doing list of different courses and trying to find a career. Really wasted far too much time and money on them when I could have done far better sticking to a minimum wage job in retail and maybe working my way up. Ah well. I’m 31 now and feel a lot more settled in myself even though my job prospects are no better than they were 5 years ago. Finding out a lot of people feel the same helps!

Early-Mid 20s were a car crash. Still a teen inside, end of uni weirdness, no clue on job front and crashing out of a career, hideous break up/subsequently dating tossers, struggling to just try and get a foothold on grown-updom and thinking I'd never bloody afford to move out. Mid-late 20s more responsible so in a way more scary but seemingly going better. DM has promised me I'll like my 30s, they're like late 20s but better. I bloody hope so. Most people I know seem happier in themselves than they did a few years ago although we do occasionally realise we've got excited discussing hoovers. although I'd like my metabolism back

I'm turning 28 this year and I've loved my late 20s. I live a pretty unconventional lifestyle though - I married and had a baby in my early 20s and got divorced at 24. As such I'm kind of living the life now that most people live in their teens/early 20s - travelling (with DS), going on nights out and dating casually (when DS is with his dad!)

I think it helps though that my circle of friends are all pretty similar, none of us is anywhere even close to having a mortgage or getting married. Only 2 of us have children and we're both single parents now so none of us really feel very "grown up."

The reason it can be quite a weird time, imvho, is that it's around the first time that the paths you didn't take start becoming very obviously different to the life you have now. You've had long enough as an adult that the people around you start having very different lives depending on choices. The job you didn't take, the decision to have a baby now rather than later etc.

I’m 29, have two children, partner, mortgage, happy in my job.

But comparing myself to my child-free counter parts, I’m skint because I work part time and all my wages goes on childcare, house and family stuff, there’s no extra left for me.
I haven’t travelled much, holidays are family resorts (which I do enjoy) whilst friends are going on regular city breaks and weekends away. I sometimes feel really bloody lonely because I’ve grown so far apart from all of my school and uni friends we just have nothing in common anymore.

But I look at some of the people I work with who are the same age and just starting out as couples, homeowners, parents etc and I feel really glad to be settled and have it all ‘out of the way’ soon.

@Bettyfood see this is what scares me...this sense that it's somehow already getting to the time where fertility comes to mind. I know a few friends of mine have started having children already for this reason, because they're scared they won't be able to later. But I can't make myself feel ready to have a child now and of course many people do have children into their late 30s and early 40s too.

@PaulDacreRimsGeese that's exactly it, you become very aware of what you didn't choose. For example an ex of mine who is a couple of years younger is still very much living the party lifestyle and it's a strange thought that if we'd stayed together I may have stayed on that path longer too.

It's a strange time. Some friends and colleagues have middle management/senior careers, spouse, 2 kids and a mortgage. Most have a mixture. I still feel and look(!) very young.

Definitely find its a time of comparison like never before. Achieving X by 30 seems like the be all and end all.

hideous, i hated mine. mind you I'm 31 now and I'm no longer dating I'm a married, home owning, mother of one and I'm still absolutely fucking useless.