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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flowers two year too late

18 replies

wellthatwentwwell · 15/04/2018 21:01

Mmm, I left a charity board over two years ago, and I received flowers today!! When I left as I'd moved out of area and could no longer support as too far away - didn't get any form of thank you - I didn't want flowers or anything like that - just a verbal thankyou would have sufficed.

Long story short - don't think they actually believed i was leaving. I found a replacement and trained for two year years & travelled the distance to do the cover - I did not leave them in the lurch in any shape or form.

So not to drip to feed, we provided flowers and thankyou for everyone over the years who spent a year supporting the charity (they earned it) - no it was not me that organised it.

I did 11 years and it was worth it, great cause, great people, and yes I did a lot - I just moved too far away to be effective. I did weekends, evenings, sorted accounts, negotiations with site leases - loads of boring stuff but necessary to keep the charity going (not a small charity, 12 paid staff and over a £100,000 a year turnover).

Am I being unreasonable to think the only reason I've suddenly been sent flowers, conveniently around the site contract negotiation time ... is that they need my help. AIBU to feel a bit like putting the flowers in the bin, I'm a bit mwaaah about it. I've not even put the flowers in water.

Or do I take it as an olive branch and go and help them? I feel I'm being a bit unreasonable.

OP posts:
CaptainMarvelDanvers · 15/04/2018 21:04

Have they asked you for help?

I wouldn’t go back if I were you, you’ve moved on.

wellthatwentwwell · 15/04/2018 21:07

No they have not asked for my help - but the flowers arrived today????

And it is time for the major site contract negotiation time.... maybe I'm just suspicious - nothing, not a thankyou at the time - & then at this time a bunch of flowers arrives?????

OP posts:
RavenclawRealist · 15/04/2018 21:09

You take and enjoy the flowers and if they ask for help you politely decline! Unless you want to help then feel free

Starlight2345 · 15/04/2018 21:09

Enjoy the flowers you earned them . But yes wait and see . It would eat at my goodwill

Dailymailisshite · 15/04/2018 21:13

Ah go on - put the flowers in water and enjoy them for themselves .
But do not contact the sender to thank them.
Maybe thats what they are hoping will happen so there will be a natural' follow on conversation .

wellthatwentwwell · 15/04/2018 21:15

I've stuck the flowers in a vase with water.

You are right can't see them wasted.

No I'm no contacting them, the door that would open - and my goodwill went a couple of years ago on this one..

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2018 21:26

Maybe they’re doing the negotiations and belatedly realising how valuable your input was. Just say you can’t help if you can’t/don’t want to.

deste · 15/04/2018 21:34

If they do ask tell them you are starting work soon and unfortunately won’t have the time.

Juells · 15/04/2018 21:35

12 paid staff and over a £100,000 a year turnover

Is there anything left for the charity from that turnover, with 12 paid staff?

WeAllHaveWings · 15/04/2018 21:39

What did the card with the flowers say? Belated sorry you are leaving?

lottiegarbanzo · 15/04/2018 21:44

You trained the replacement for two years before you left? Not two years from then to now? As the latter doesn't make sense practically but would, of the flowers.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 15/04/2018 21:46

I would feel awkward not acknowledging them, even though it’s a blatant attempt to soften you up. Is there anyone you could contact to pass your thanks back to the board without you having to engage? If so you could make clear to that person your unavailability (and maybe the fact that they overlooked a thank you when you actually left!)

You earned the flowers anyway, so enjoy them!

LellyMcKelly · 15/04/2018 22:08

You could write them a pretty thank you note, expressing your surprise and telling them about how busy your life is now.

picklemepopcorn · 15/04/2018 22:15

I think I remember you from a previous post. What a turn up for the books! Cheeky lot.

frasier · 15/04/2018 22:31

Wait and see whether they come cap in hand asking for help...

Meanwhile enjoy the flowers in case they are string free!

(It is odd though!)

wellthatwentwwell · 15/04/2018 22:34

Yes I did post about it at the time - as I was I little but "wow" to the no thank you. A verbal thankyou was want wanted and not received. So these flowers 2 years later have thrown me.

In answer to the other question / Charities and not for profits can have staff - and the work the staff do is the charity - but people don't have to pay for the services - I can't say much more or I would out myself.

I await the message or phone call 😱

OP posts:
wellthatwentwwell · 15/04/2018 22:35

I trained the replacement in the two years before I left. I had moved several years before then, but didn't want to leave them in the lurch - so I trained the replacement and then left

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 16/04/2018 06:18

You went above and beyond the call of duty! Their lack of appreciation was shocking!

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