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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for simpy being fed up with poopy pants, sigh

55 replies

3andnomore · 12/05/2007 18:47

My ms is 4 1/2 years old now, and is pottytrained for wees for a year....we are a year on, and he still has severe issues in the poo departement...I often have to clean up 2 or more poo accidents a day for a year now...I am soooooooooooooo fed up...fricking star chart, doesn't work, nothing works, tried it all, and just the thought of yet another pair of pooped in pants to wash make me feel physically sick....I have, in the past weeks thrown a fair few pairs out, because the thought of washing them just was to much...but of course can't do this all the time.
To be honest, I am sitting here in tears, because I can't take this anymore. Tjis just can't be bloody normal....surely there comes a point when a child just bloody learns....never had these issues with es...however, ms did have some constipation issues and is on Movicol, but poo is nice and soft now and doesn't hurt, or anything...so why can't he just use the toilet all teh time...he does occasionally, however it's a drag to get him onto it and he cna sit on it and not do anything, only to present me with yet another pooped full pair of pants just minutes later.
I am definately loosing my cool, I am frustrated and to be honest, htre are moments where I just want to walk out on them...! (pooing obviously not the only issue, lol)....
just needed a rant really!

OP posts:

MuminBrum · 14/05/2007 14:52

Re hiding pants, a plumber once told me that the worst thing about having to do any plumbing work in a public toilet is that people take the lid off the cistern and chuck their skiddy undercrackers in to get rid of them!

Original poster

3andnomore · 14/05/2007 15:23

HI Lucie, I know....making an issue isn't the way to go...and I know I need to grow up and get over myself here...it's just so damn hard at times...if you know what I mean!
Oh, and by no means do I make him sit for hours on end...but when he has an accident he tends to need some more, and I tend to let him sit a while to encourage a larger poo....if I don't he will soil the next pair of pants within minutes...!so, him soiling tends to be when he actually needs to go...well, I assume....I think I need to keep a diary to really see what is going on....!
FF...do you think blowing bubbles with a straw in a cup of water would work, too...my ds loves that....!

Oh, I just sooo hope that we get this sorted, sooner rather then later, sigh!

OP posts:

frazzledfairy · 14/05/2007 16:58

keeping a diary would help i'm sure, might help you spot a pattern, although my ds is completely random!

don't see why blowing bubbles in water wouldn't help too, it's the same kind of action isn't it?

it's not a case of you needing to get over it, it is bloody hard, it's years of wiping bums, and carrying changes of clothes and being aware of smells etc etc etc!

think i mentioned before that i found it easier to think of it as a medical thing that he had no control over, you know, like excema or something. a friend of mines lo had cystic fibrosis and has to do hours of physiotherapy a day, another friends son has severe excema and has to be wrapped in bandages every night. we just have bottoms to put up with!

Original poster

3andnomore · 14/05/2007 17:06

FF, yes, I suppose it's best to see it as a medical thing...and then when you look at the big picture....I can maybe even appreicate just how lucky I am that that is all I have to deal with!
Could have been so much worse.

OP posts:

luciemule · 14/05/2007 21:42

I had an appointment card arrive today for an appointment with a different paediatrician and the 'poo nurse'. I want to explore other avenues and check about perhaps having a scan or similar of her abdomen (preferable not a camera) to rule out things such as Hirschsprungs Disease etc. I know it's unlikely to be anything other than constipation but I just don't feel comfy just agreeing to the Movicol without an end without questioning other possibilities.

Original poster

3andnomore · 15/05/2007 08:43

Luciemole, hope that they will listen to you
My friend was really surprised that my son was prescribed Movicol,she is a paediatric Nurse and used to work with prem Baby's, etc...and apparetnly Movicol is quite an extreme measure...hm...

OP posts:

Original poster

3andnomore · 15/05/2007 08:44

luciemule even, lol...sorry...not implying you are a mole or anything like that, lol...defiantely not a freudian slip

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 15/05/2007 09:18

What kind of slip is ? Sorry very rude to criticise people's spelling but couldn't resist.

Original poster

3andnomore · 15/05/2007 09:52

rofl...osrry me ...I always get definitely and defiantly muddled up when typing away...duh! LOl! Mainly because I always want to spell definitely definately...lol

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 15/05/2007 15:57

Just remember that it's de + finite (meaning has an end). You wouldn't want to put an a in finite would you?

Original poster

3andnomore · 15/05/2007 16:22

certainly not in this case...lol...urgh...just imagine...

OP posts:

luciemule · 17/05/2007 18:25

Aaah -I'm quite mad today after supply teacher told me in a very negative way in front of DD that she'd had numerous accidents today. I told her "let's be more positive please!" Then she asked me in front of DD if she was on medication (and in front of everyone else in the foyer!). She obviously hadn't been told about DD's problem. She was so insensitive. I just said no she wasn't on medication but then nodded implying she was. She then said "oh doesn't she know?" I just thought I can't believe you and walked out of the school. Talk about no compassion towards my DD. She heard every word and in front of all her friends. I'm probably over reacting but her usual teacher is never like that and always mouths things to me when DD is there or asks me to stay behind for a chat and gives DD job to do so she can't hear us. Sorry - had to rant.

Elasticwoman · 17/05/2007 20:11

Luciemule - I think you should speak to the Head about medical confidentiality, ie that your dd's medical condition should not be spoken about in a crowded foyer, but SHOULD be told to the supply teacher before she teaches your dd. Yes the supply teacher was insensitive, but if she had been apprised of the situation in advance this would not have arisen.

beccav · 21/09/2007 11:52

So relieved to discover this conversation. I am going through very similar problems with my four and a half year old. Sick to death of pooey pants. All been exhacerbated by starting school this week. Even more irritating than pants is not being able to walk down the street without stopping every five minutes so he can sit down (preferably behind tree or in someone's front garden!) to clench his muscles to stop the stuff coming out. He is so desperate to control when and where he poos (happy to do it on toilet - but just not when he is busy, interested in doing something else, doesn;t "feel like it" - I am now worried he is going to become the "smelly kid" at school.

He can go five days without pooing - the energy he is putting into it is impressive!

Oh and he blocked the school toilet with a huge one on his first day!

ps never done a hard poo in his life.

yummymummy33 · 03/10/2008 15:50

Has anyone potty trained a child born with Hirschsprungs? This is my first post on here so not sure I'm doing this right but thought I'd try! My DS is 3 this month and was born with Hirschsprungs, we're having a few problems with the potty training so am looking for any one else who has experience with this?

ciyoa · 19/06/2011 21:30

o my god this is SOOO good to read! I have been in tears twice this week with our dd who is 4 in aug as she is literally driving me insane!
It is the same as you guys, movicol for last year and half, always soft poo, she can recite to me what to do and why, and has had 2 2week episodes of doing most poos on toilet, just to let me get hopeful, then BAM straight back to pooing 4 times in pants in bloody lounge!!!!!
I feel like my hands permanently have faint whiff of poo due to rinsing pooey pants, star charts rewards, shouting, calm, bubbles etc, no apparent winner.
arrrgh! if i find a magic cure i'll post! am going to start insisting i shower her down after each time and hopefully she will find it such a drag she stops, as am completely convinced it is now behavioural.
good luck all!!

youarekidding · 19/06/2011 21:40

another with a constipated DS of 6yo here. On 2 movicol a day since May (thanks to MNers) but only just getting back that feeling of needing to go now. He can't hold it still.

Its to with the bowel being stretched apparently.

youarekidding · 19/06/2011 21:41

Oh old thread.

HerHissyness · 19/06/2011 21:46

OK, this was a zombie thread, but ciyoa, I had similar issues.

This was DS thing, his stress thing, if he was worried, he would hold the poo till he couldn't hold it any more. You have to be attentive, watch for the signs and tell them to go to the loo, tbh in the end I got a great big jar and said, £1 if I catch you and tell you to go, £2 if you go all by yourself. It worked! before that I did toys, match box cars etc, then we learned to save up his poos and buy a bigger toy at the weekend for £4.. I'd let him off £1 every so often, or if he wanted to buy something for £6, I told him he owed me a poo!

OK so X left in the middle of all this and the stress lifted from DS life, but it was all about positive reinforcement, regardless of where the poo was, even in the pants you have to say well done for doing it, better out than in, and next time we'll do it in the loo eh?

The tricky thing is when they get a tummy bug, and have no control at all, then it's vital that you are really supportive and say we all do it. Last sickness bug I got, I had an accident (sorry, TMI) and had to tell him I'd had one to reinforce that sometimes it happens, but it's OK.

They will get it in the end. They really will. Keep going, it'll happen.

HerHissyness · 19/06/2011 21:47

DS was never on movical or anything, but lots of tomatoes etc helped!

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 19/06/2011 21:49

Ciyoa - have you had a paed referral? My DS (now 5) has been on Movicol for a few months, no better for it and has had a paed appointment and has a 3 month follow up in July, and is seeing the GP every fornight and has also seen the continence nurse (I booked that myself - google a local one - you will have one!) After such a long time, I doubt it's constipation. Trying a non wheat and then non diairy diet is usually the first port of call. We are at the movicol stage, so no idea what happens next but have heard talk of x rays etc. Its tough, isn't it?

scrappydappydoo · 19/06/2011 21:58

I hear you! I was just going to post about dd2 - 6mths we've been at it and no poos on the potty/toilet - she is def not constipated. In fact this evening she did a poo in the bath much to dd1's disgust. We tried putting her back in nappies but her wees regressed so now I just buy cheapy primark knickers and if its bad I just chuck em.
I really feel your pain - there are days when I feel like crying as I truly can't understand it - she knows and tells you that poos go on the potty, we've read all the books, she's had star charts and bribery but nothing works she just smiles and tells me her nappy needs changing.
No advice just solidarity :)

perrinelli · 19/06/2011 22:04

Just wanted to add my sympathy - DD1 (now 3.4) will have been trained with the wees for coming up a year but we still have poo issues - think she has only done about 2 in the potty or loo in that time towards the beginning (I keep looking back to see what we did wrong but don't think we could have been more encouraging or positive when she did them!).

Long story short - after many pooey pants she now asks for a pull up when she needs to go. It sort of works and is not too stressful, but she NEVER goes at nursery which surely can't be healthy? And I do sometimes feel a bit embarrassed when we are with other people and she asks me for a pull up.

Now have such a dilemma - decided to just 'give it time' and totally take off the pressure but it's been months and she seems no closer to deciding she is ready herself. Should we continue to wait or do we need to take some sort of action and get firm about it/try treats again (don't think this will work - opposition to & fear of doing it on the toilet is too strong)?

She will start nursery at the school in september mornings only so will prob be ok holding it in there, but what about when proper school starts? And if she doesn't even do them on the loo yet, how much time will she then need to learn to wipe herself etc?

ciyoa · 19/06/2011 22:06

thanks guys for responses, really good to know theres more of us!
yes she is under paed, and i have just spoken with hv last week (on a bad day!) and they are referring to constipation clinic. however, maybe i am too hard on her, but i really feel like she can do it when she wants to. i know i am putting adult logic on a 3 yr old and it isnt fair but you end up frustrated and taking it personally.
incidentally, she barely had any "accidents" the couple of weeks when ballet shoes were the prize, and reverted rapidly once got said shoes! torn between constantly having much wanted prize and thinking "just bloody do it"! also not fair on poor 5yr old son who goes normally witrh no big fan fare/prizes!

ciyoa · 19/06/2011 22:10

perrinelli, we did the asking for a pull up route and it was a total blessing for a while. she would ask for pull up or even just go up and get one, into bathroom in corner, then call to be changed!
however, i felt needed to move on to toilet as she starts school in sept, really feeling the pressure at the mo!
if i had more time i would stick at that for now, and just still sit her on toilet for 5 mins (with bubbles etc ) every am after breakfast. at least she has control of it!

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