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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To of dumped this guy

15 replies

Chillyegg · 15/04/2018 19:41

So I’ve dated this guy for a little while he seemed pretty perfect . Any way he told me that he got arrested when he was very young for assaulting his ex partner and was arrested and charged. His story did not make any sense and I believe he massively downplayed it. So basically as soon as he told me I dumped him. he got arrested for (throwing something) but I don’t think it is the full story or even excusable I’m a bit dissapointed because I thought he was great but also feel well . I’m a domestic abuse survivor so I jut don’t need that

OP posts:
Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2018 19:42

His turn of events was that his ex called the police to maliciously hurt him although he admits what happened happened.

OP posts:
Coolaschmoola · 15/04/2018 19:43

You can dump simeone at any time for any reason, or for no reason at all.

Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2018 19:45

I suppose my question isn’t AIBU maybe to give myself reassurance that I did the right thing. And that I’m not self sabotaging

OP posts:
Mightymucks · 15/04/2018 19:45

No, you have done absolutely the right thing.

Mightymucks · 15/04/2018 19:46

You are self protecting, not sabotaging. Ending a relationship with someone with a history of violence is the only sensible course of action.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/04/2018 19:47

You have 100%, absolutely positively done the right thing. Never doubt your instincts and NEVER lower your standards.

DairyisClosed · 15/04/2018 19:48

I would have just got up and we'd out at that point.

Springtrolls · 15/04/2018 19:49

You're not self-sabotaging. You have ideals that you expect a potential partner and throwing his fist something is a deal breaker.

AngelL7 · 15/04/2018 19:50

You definitely done the right thing. Big hugs to you xx

Teateaandmoretea · 15/04/2018 19:53

No, it's common sense not self sabotage.

KurriKurri · 15/04/2018 19:54

People who have done something horrible usually downplay their own guilt and try to shift blame to the victim.

As someone who has experienced DV - would you ever have felt safe or comfortable witht his guy ? I doubt it. You have made a very sensible a decision - good for you for knowing your boundaries and prioritising your own safety.

Relationships are not the be all and end all of life but if you do want to be in one, know that there is someone far better than this out there for you Flowers

PrettyLittIeThing · 15/04/2018 19:58

Did he go to prison for it? This sounds scarily similar to what my ex said. Only he went to prison for it. Violence towards his ex but that he had just threw something in her face but the story didn't add up at all. I've tried to find out what actually happened but it seems impossible. (I have children with him and didn't find out till after.) but no you did the right thing wish I had known sooner. My ex went to prison for it despite apparently never done anything like it before. And she just wanted revenge apparently and even the judge "thought it was stupid"

Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2018 20:06

Erm I don’t honk be went to prison . Not sure he smutted was had a criminal record. Who knows . I know I’m well rid. Deep down but sometimes it’s easy to doubt your self

OP posts:
Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2018 20:07

Admitted he has a criminal record

OP posts:
himynameiss · 15/04/2018 20:09

Well done for protecting yourself x

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