To talk to DH about alcohol smell?

[jamoncrumpets]

In the last two weeks or so I've noticed a definite alcohol smell coming from DH, particularly at night (from his skin, I'm guessing). He does drink, probably more than is recommended, but v rarely to the point where he is drunk. But recently I've noticed there are more empty beer cans and wine bottles going into the recycling bin.

I don't drink much at all really, maybe one a week. And not even that atm because I'm pregnant. DH has a lot on at work atm, and is trying to quit smoking. I think he's using it as a crutch, but the smell is bothering me - he's never smelt like that before.

I want to discuss this with him but am unsure of how to approach it without sounding rude or judgey. The most unhelpful thing would be to get him in a huff about it because then nothing would get solved. AIBU to talk to him with the 'Listen, I need to talk to you about something I've noticed...' approach? Or does anybody else have any suggestions for ways I can talk to him?

How pregnant are you? My sense of smell went into overdrive so that might be why the smell. Keep an eye on the empties for a week, to judge whether it's an excessive amount or not, rather than relying on sense of smell.

I'm 31 weeks. And I know my sense of smell is heightened generally but this alcohol smell thing I've only noticed very recently.

It's not a huge surprise that if he's drinking alcohol in the evening, he smells of alcohol at night.

Could your nose be finding it worse than usual because you're pregnant?

It sounds to me that you are actually concerned about the quantity he is drinking, and the smell is just a hook to hang it on, as it were. If that is the case, I think you should begin a conversation on cause, rather than effect. Tell him you are worried about how much he is drinking, because you care about him and his physical and mental health. Prepare for him to huff though, problematic drinkers are very defensive (voice of experience). Best of luck

I can only smell alcohol on my husband after he’s had a heavier night of it.
I agree with keeping an eye on the empties, do you always know where he is though? Could he drink after work for example?

Is he planning to make sure he’s safe to drive from when you’re about 37 weeks? If so I’d maybe just wait and see how it goes then.

I got a very heightened sense of smell in my pregnancy.

Drinking due to stress but not drunk is ok in the short term.

I think the 'sober to drive me to hospital' aspect is nonsense. DH wouldn't drive me either time as he'd had a single glass of wine. A taxi was easily called and there was no effect on his behaviour because of the small amount of booze in his system.

In my experience you have to have been on a bender for alcohol to smell on your body, out of your pores.
If he smells like this every night, I would be seriously worried.
It's usually spirits that do this and it's a sort of sweet smell.
He might not be appearing drunk because his tolerance has been made very high by the amount he's drinking.
Could be be drinking before he gets home from work as well?
Only suggestion would be to check the empties and mention you're worried he drinks every night. Not the easiest subject to broach as he'll probably be very defensive! But again, this would be a bad sign. Best of luck!

It’s not just about driving in labour, it’s about them being in a fit state to support you - and not feeling awful when they are semi drunk semi hungover and going to miss a whole night of sleep!

My DH can't drive anyway, so that's moot

I noticed a smell of alcohol on my dad a number of times, during the day. I convinced myself I was imagining it as I didn't want to believe he was drinking spirits in the day. He NEVER appeared drunk.

Turned out he was a massive alchy who was drunk driving. I very much regret doubting myself and not saying anything sooner. Not that it would have changed much presumably. It has severely affected our relationship, even though he claims to be sober now.