To not buy DH an anniversary present?

[ToBuyOrNotToBuy2]

DH and I have been together for 8 years, approaching 2 years married.

We've never been a couple that goes OTT on gifts and we prefer to go out for fancy dinners/ have experiences rather than spend a fortune on material gifts.

Saying that, every anniversary I've bought him a token gift, think along the lines of aftershave or a wallet. He's never bought me anything, except dinner. (Bare in mind, it's paid from a shared account so as much my money as his).

For our first wedding anniversary I bought him a framed print that was personal to us (don't want to give too many details as it's quite outing) and despite him saying that he would celebrate "the big anniversaries" I got a big fat nothing. Our "fancy dinner" was at the local Italian as I was suffering from awful morning sickness and didn't FEEL up to doing much more.

WIBU in not bothering to get him something this year? I never normally give to receive and I usually enjoy watching him open presents but I feel as though I'm not worth the time or effort from him IYSWIM.

God, no. I wouldn't get him a thing.

Is it the same on birthdays?

Birthdays and Christmas are more of a "want do you want" situation. Twice in 8 years he's bought me something off his own back. The annoying thing is, those two gifts have been the best and most thoughtful presents. That's why I feel like he just can't be bothered.

DH and I agreed that we wouldn’t buy presents for each other on anniversaries.
Instead, we sit down and agree something we’d both like to do. Usually it’s a restaurant or theatre tickets or a night away somewhere.

My DH was shit with birthdays at first. He would pop out on the actual day and buy me something that was really easy to get ahold of. So one year I didnt bother. He suddenly got thoughtful.

DH and I never bother with anniversary gifts, usually just get each other a card.

If getting him something makes you happy then get him something.

If not getting anything makes you miserable then sit him down and tell him (4 weeks in advance, so he has time to get you something good).

I don't really see the problem. You're buying a gift (using joint finances) and he's planning/buying dinner (from joint finances).

@poptart of we had agreed that it wouldn't be a problem. It's the promise of celebrating the big ones, and any "big one" we've had has been ignored.

@meantangerine I've tried telling him, that's where the big anniversary promise came from. It's not been seen through.

@hunter I use my money to buy him a gift. We both have separate accounts and a joint one. He uses our joint account to pay for dinner.

I wouldn’t bother. Birthdays and Christmas, yes, but unless it’s a significant number, no to anniversaries.