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Objecting to weird people lecturing my 3yo about not asking their name??

39 replies

flightattendant · 12/05/2007 12:57

We were in town this morning and sat on a wall for a rest. some women walked past (elderly and middle aged daughter). DS (3) is in a phase of talking to strangers, when I'm there. I've tried to stop him but usually people just smile or talk to him, he's really sociable.
Anyway he says to them, politely, as they pass, 'Hello, what are your names?'
The younger one turns round and says, @you really shouldn't ask people questions like that, we are nice ladies but we aren't going to tell you our names'.
DS looks upset and comes and puts his head on my lap.
Elderly woman then asks DS how old he is. I look at them both and say, 'You really shouldn't ask people questions like that'. DS continues to hide his little face, he's totally ashamed.
Younger woman doesn't go away but continues sprouting about 'I hope he doesn't feel rejected, but I don't think it's a good idea to ask people their names...blah I am not aware of the dangers of talking to strangers.
Is it me having odd notions about children not fully understanding the usual social inhibitions, or could she just have smiled at him and said something like 'I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours'..? After all I was right there and FGS he is TINY!
I can't work ut why she was so bloody threatened by it.( maybe this thing with the little girl who has gone missing, but I doubt it...)

OP posts:

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 12/05/2007 12:58



flightattendant · 12/05/2007 12:59

btw it took me asking them to 'leave it' three times before she finally shut up and left me to give him a cuddle...she wasn't a 'nice lady' at all!

OP posts:

rattleskuttle · 12/05/2007 13:00

some people are just bizarre. no you are not being unreasonable.


flightattendant · 12/05/2007 13:02


OP posts:

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 12/05/2007 13:02

Hmm i knwo what you mean

maybe its time he stopped talkign so freely ot folk htough


flightattendant · 12/05/2007 13:06

Wish I could stop him but he won't listen. I do worry that he'll get himself into trouble somehow or mainly, annoy people - but he is pretty incorrigible. Any ideas?
(Probably why it upset me so much - I know it's not really Ok but he is SO sociable - little Gemini, which makes me believe in all that astrology cr*p - he can't get enough of other people)

OP posts:

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 12/05/2007 13:10

yes the fear is that you coudl be paying at a till and turn your backa nd he woudl go off chatting
it is sweet thought isnt it


flightattendant · 12/05/2007 13:14

Very sweet - I'm starting to think I must be very boring, as he won't just walk and talk next to me, but goes and 'adopts' some other family walking nearby - to their surprise! I keep calling him back but he is far too interested in finding out about them.
It really could happen, what you said!

OP posts:

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 12/05/2007 13:16

enid had this wiht her dd nad it was gettign really embarassing at soft play cnetres

so i rekconed that ehr dd was just inquisitiev and clever and she shodul teach her to read

so she did
and she is clever


rattleskuttle · 12/05/2007 13:23

my dd, 3, is the opposite. she won't talk to strangers and i'd love her to be more chatty. perhaps those women he spoke to are from net curtain twitching land where no one speaks directly to anyone. maybe they found your ds' directness difficult. but that's their problem, not his, isn't it?


powder28 · 12/05/2007 13:25

The younger woman should have let it lie.

Sounds like it was just a one off, people do normally react kindly.


fuzzywuzzy · 12/05/2007 13:28

I think your ds sounds adorable, I wouldn't discourage it he'll grow out of it, the women were mad..... reminds me of a little boy who decided to have conversation with me on a flight out to Dubai once, his dad came thundering down the aisle apologising profusely, I told him his son was lovely and I didn't mind at all speaking to such a wonderfully articulate little boy.....


edam · 12/05/2007 13:34

Your ds sounds lovely and the women sound like miserable baggages. Don't stop him, he's just being curious and friendly, both good traits IMO.


flightattendant · 12/05/2007 13:46

Thanks, I feel so much better now! Most people seem not to mind at all and some really feel flattered at being approached by the little chap - I was quite proud that today I managed to stick up for him, as often I'm not sure and tend to apologise for it (usually people laugh).
Think I need some kind of lead for him though, just in case...! no news on that little girl I suppose yet?

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 12/05/2007 13:53

Ds says hello to everyone we pass in the street

what on EARTH is the problem or danger with a child saying hello to two people and asking their names when he is out with his mum?

Complete idiots


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 12/05/2007 13:54

god how annoyying!


FrannyandZooey · 12/05/2007 13:55

what that he says hello? or was that a cross post?


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 12/05/2007 13:57

nice once in a hwile but every day
every peron?


FrannyandZooey · 12/05/2007 14:05

Who is it annoying for? It won't last for ever, he has had phases like this before


FrannyandZooey · 12/05/2007 14:06

I secretly like to watch people's non plussed expressions I must admit so I do not discourage it


sorkycake · 12/05/2007 14:22

My Dd is 5 and frequently does this still.
I don't discourage her because I want her to be confident with coversing with people of all ages, but then I'm somone who says good morning to complete strangers when walking to the shops so she probably gets it from me. She isn't ever out without me or Dh but does understand not to do it when we are not there, but that's in part due to worry that she'll hold them hostage verbally.
Leave him to it he's learning valuable social skills and you were right to reprimand the fools


obimomkanobi · 12/05/2007 16:12

My 3 year old son talks to everyone too.

Flightattendant, you are not being unreasonable at all. They were a pair of miserable bitches, I am visualising them as the 'laydee's' from Little Britain.


stleger · 12/05/2007 16:47

No, names OK, but not 'how old are you?'


flightattendant · 12/05/2007 19:56

Stleger, it was them who asked HIM how old HE was, after telling him it was wrong to ask them their names!!!

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 12/05/2007 20:00

And it's hardly like a three-year-old could be expected to understand that age can be a delicate issue!

My DS1 is, and was, a bit like this. I never did anything about it, why would I? Now, at 5.5, he's still very happy to take up with anyone. He knows there are situations (like shops) where he has to stay near me, or where I've asked him to be, and situations (like playgrounds or the swimming pool or a party) where as long as he stays in a specified area, he can do what he likes.

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