To feel not worthy for a relationship?

10 replies

rosalindophelia · 13/04/2018 21:03

Logically I know that’s stupid but I feel too ugly, thick and boring for a partner. I always have! Can you ever get round this?

OP posts:

TenancyTroublesAgain · 13/04/2018 21:39

I also do. It changes when you do meet someone. Because you will. Everyone does, eventually.

Until you do, it does seem impossible, but it's not!

Going through the same thing right now.

CelticSelkie · 13/04/2018 21:42

''I also do. It changes when you do meet someone. Because you will. Everyone does, eventually. ''

Well that really aint true!

OP, I'd think about what you like doing. what did you do between the ages of 8 and 14. Do those things with NO view to meeting a single man because I think hoping to meet somebody is boring but indulging in your own passions with no view to meeting somebody makes you interesting.

I'm interesting and funny and worthy of respect, affection and love, but also.......single. Not every body meets somebody.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 13/04/2018 21:48

@CelticSelkie ok, so a small minority may go through life having never had a proper relationship. But in GENERAL, isn't it better to focus on the fact that you probably will meet someone rather than give up and be miserable for your whole life?!

TenancyTroublesAgain · 13/04/2018 21:49

Trying to make the OP feel better here (and myself as I'm in the same boat) and I do believe it to be true!

JacquesHammer · 13/04/2018 21:52

You don’t need a partner to have self-worth. You need to find your own self-worth first.

Having a relationship isnt about being worthy.

You sound desperately sad - have you spoken to anyone about your feelings?

Gabilan · 13/04/2018 22:00

It changes when you do meet someone. Because you will. Everyone does, eventually

They don't. The vast majority will have some sort of relationship of some sort during their lifetime. Not everyone will meet someone who loves them. Plus, if you don't feel worthy of a relationship, even if you meet someone you're unlikely to get it together with them. You may be trying to cheer the OP up, but that pie in the sky stuff just seems unhelpful to me.

Plenty of lovely people don't get to meet someone suitable. However, I am sure the OP is far from ugly, thick and boring.

Lellikelly26 · 13/04/2018 22:10

You all need to write lists of your good attributes, give yourself credit for all the good things you do however small. You need to watch negative thoughts about yourselves it’s not true. What you think affects how you feel. Start to appreciate the things about yourself you like. We’re all just people at the end of the day.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 13/04/2018 22:16

@Gabilan I wasn't trying to be unhelpful or "pie in the sky", I was literally of the opinion that people generally don't end up alone forever. I didn't say everyone gets a fairytale relationship, just that people generally do have one, eventually. Didn't say it had to last.

I personally don't know of a single person who hasn't been in a relationship before, hence my view...

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 13/04/2018 22:17

I love what @CelticSulkie said. Do what you enjoyed doing before relationships were ever on the cards. Do what makes you happy. (Cliche warning) Happiness attracts people. Its contagious.

DalmatianSpots · 13/04/2018 22:38

If you are ugly thick and boring I don’t see why that would make you ‘unworthy’ of a relationship. There are lots of ugly thick and boring people out there you could click with.

Thinking of yourself in those terms is certainly a barrier to having a good relationship though. You don’t want to meet someone who agrees with your self assessment.

Flip