Is he just trying to put me off?

[limoncello84]

I have a male friend at work that I see as purely platonic. He's married, but even if he was single, he's not my type. About 5/6 months ago I had a little dalliance with another guy at work and as soon as I told my friend about us, he was really down on the guy. It was nothing serious, just a flirtation/chatting etc but my friend kept on about all his negative traits and he's heard this and that etc. In the end I'm not sure if he even warned him off but it fizzled out anyway. It did make me wonder about my friend though, and I saw him in a slightly different light. I was more guarded etc around what I said to him.

Fast forward to this week. I mentioned one of the men we work with in conversation work related and he started on about how he's getting married etc (to my 'okay...' ??) response and started with the negative comments again. I really want to be paranoid, but it just seems so coincidental. I was telling a friend who knows work man outside of work and he isn't getting married at all, so that was really weird.

I don't really know what I'm asking but don't want any drama at work so don't want to vent to anyone there. AIBU or does it sound like he's just trying to put me off these guys? There's a semi attraction to work man, but he's gut a girlfriend so not an option so it just seems bizarre

I genuinely dont understand how anything other than what I wrote wasread into

Some of these replies are shocking! OP I think it’s that he fancies you but can’t have you, but doesn’t want to see you with anyone else. I would step back a bit if I were you.

I think no matter what his motives, you alread know he's lying to you so you're wise to pull back a little bit.

I think it's probable that he fancies you and doesn't want anyone else to have you. (Which is a bit shit - he gets to be married but you're not allowed anyone?!)

Also, men are weirdly competitive. It MAY be less about fancying you personally and more about not wanting another man to have you because you're a bit of a catch and it will make that other man look better than him (if you see what I mean...)

I've come across people like that guy before, if I had to guess he secretly has feelings for you which he has suppressed because he wouldn't cheat on his wife. At the same time though he can't stand thinking of you with someone else either.

Don't talk to him about romantic relationships anymore is the only advice I can give.

Ridiculous responses on here.

OP, make this simple. Guy friend is acting slightly weird. Weird co-worker dynamics are unhelpful. So, steer slightly clear of co-worker. Forget categorising him as friend/platonic/whatever, just see him as a person you work with who is potentially gonig to make life a bit awkward at work, and stay polite but very distant from now on, with no chats about other people or personal stuff. If he does, be vague and distant. It will soon resolve itself.

Well you see the problem is, if women insist on being treated the same as men having "conversations" and "jobs" then people are bound to talk. It's simply uncouth.

In all seriousness - maybe he's just got protective man complex. If you're close enough to him ask him why. If you're not then find someone else to talk to about that stuff!

Thanks for all nice /actually read what I wrote responses. Absolute best case scenario is he's being protective over me but it's still bizarre considering there was nothing to instigate being that way!

Still not quite over the office bike comment though...it does make me wonder if people think before they type :/