Bitching at work

[TrainsandDiggers]

Someone I know (but don’t work with) accidentally sent me a message that was intended for a group of their work friends, which read along these lines...

“Anyone know if that idle cow is in tomorrow so I can prepare myself? 😂😂 I’ve been thinking, do you think she thinks [boss] won’t notice the stunt she pulled on [colleague’s name] today because she’s not in tomorrow??”

What are your thoughts on this? I find it quite shocking and almost bullying behaviour. My friend is in quite a low paid role though and I wonder if sometimes people who don’t feel particularly valued or well supported at work, sometimes resort to this sort of behaviour to have their feelings about things that frustrate them validated?

(NB: I fully appreciate that not everyone in a low paid job would feel this way).

Have you made a thread just to wonder if poor people are bitchier (I hate that word) than rich people? Because it reads that way. Which is pretty bitchy in itself tbh.

Gosh, no, not at all. I thought I might have worded it wrong when I posted it. Genuine apologies to anyone who reads it that way. Honestly wasn’t intended. I wrote my post very poorly. Sorry.

I really meant about feeling valued at work. The pay is irrelevant. I guess I just hear the people I know in lower paid jobs speaking out more about not feeling listened to at work. It’s a silly generalisation though that is probably inaccurate and deflects from what I was actually trying to ask.

To be honest, I’m judging you more for being so invested in some text message that doesn’t affect you.

To be honest, I’m judging you more for being so invested in some text message that doesn’t affect you.

It may not affect OP, but I would be shocked to receive a text like that, which was not intended for me.

OP, some people are bitches, regardless of value/pay.

Fair enough. It certainly did shock me as this doesn’t happen in my work place and I hadn’t seen this side to my friend before (so I know she doesn’t always speak about people this way). I think it’s good to be interested in things that surprise us though so I don’t take offence at your comment.

I agree that it sounds like bullying behaviour.

I've actually come across worse bullying in my professional career than in my lower paid roles, but it was more subtle and harder to spot.

Of course, that's a generalization just based on one person's experience, thought.

Mind you, is Idle Cow an Idle Cow?

The only way - that’s interesting that you’ve experienced that. Thanks for sharing.

Cert cert - Ha! Maybe it is?! 🤔

It does sound unpleasant, yes. That sort of thing is why I avoid the gossip networks where I work. I don't think it's about having frustrations validated, though - I just think there are some people who thrive on power-games and being unpleasant; behaviour learned in the school playground continues into the workplace.

It's best not to get drawn in; if I'm on the receiving end of bitching-session overtures at work, I simply say I don't really know the person or anything about whatever has supposedly happened, and change the subject.

I think it’s probably more to do with how many people you work with. I would imagine that a retail store (Tesco, Asda etc) has more bitching in purely because there are more people there and thefore more people to potentially get along with/not like rather than pay/feeling undervalued

OP,
We only ever know the side of people they "show us"

Idk, sometimes I would love to send a message like that because I feel very frustrated that poor performance in our work isn't really tackled at all, so there are a lot of people who capitalise on that, do fuck all, and everyone else picks up the slack. Managers don't deal with it because they can't be arsed. Seeing this day in day out is really corrosive to morale (and imo it is worse at middle management level in terms of taking the piss).

Having said that, whilst I might think it, and bitch to my DH about it, I wouldn't actually send a message like that.