DH and running obsession

[Greekyoghurt83]

Arghhhh just had a silly row with DH. On way back from restaurant with DC, whilst walking home I was just saying what a lovely time we all had, we see someone running and DH says wistfully "I wish I could go running" I perceive this as quite a passive aggressive thing to say since;

• he ran a half marathon on Sunday (6 weeks Upto this run he was going on 3/4 runs a week)
• did a circuits class on Tuesday
• he knew I had managed to squeeze some exercise in today whilst he had been at work

I am a sahm with no family nearby, I get to go to one exercise class a week (on a Friday hence me thinking his remark was a little dig). Before kids we were both really in to our fitness, so I definitely don't do enough, for what I need to stay happy and sane, but my kids take priority. Anyway I just thought why bloody say it unless he was having a little passive aggressive dig that he has been at work all day and he hasn't exercised since Tuesday! ? (FFS) AIBU?

Unless he usually says snide PA things then I can't see the problem. DH often wistfully looks at push/motor bikes wishing he was out on his. I don't begrudge him that and support him to get out as much as is possible, but then he supports me to do things that make me happy too including staying fit. It doesn't sound like there's much two way support in your relationship and it's become about petty competition.

As for staying fit, could you go to a gym with a creche?

Oddish I think you are right, probably me sniping because I feel
frustrated that I don't get much of a break.

Can you both make a little bit more time for yourselves?

DP is a cyclist and loves getting out - I finish work later than him (no DC at home) so he has the chance to go out then, and then we both have dinner together when I get home.

Why do you only get a chance to go to one class a week?

I don't know him, obviously, but when I've run a big race and have to rest a while after, my brain doesn't want to 😂So maybe that's all it was?

Thanks everyone. I think you've helped me realise iabu to some degree. I am going to look at trying to get more exercise in for me and will probably help me cope with DH and his constant running .

Yep. Thus I'd why I would never date someone who is overly keen on fitness. I really don't think he meant anything by it, he probably just genuinely would have rather that he had gone for a run.

I think he was just voicing his internal feeling that he was itching to go for run. I love running only get out 2 times a week mainly due to work and kids evening sports but everytime I'm driving anywhere and see someone out running I wish it was me

My husband goes running every day. It annoys me because after a 6-8 mile run, he doesn't actually really want to go for a walk or a hike with me. Even if we are on holiday in a beautiful place with incredible hiking, he would rather go for a run than do a big walk with the family (kids are almost grown up).

That sounds like something I’d say. I wouldn’t mean ‘I wish I wasn’t hanging out with you losers’, it would just be an observation that I’m quite fond of a good run.

Saying that though, I can see why you’d be bothered by it - it doesn’t sound like your leisure time is very balanced. It seems like your reaction is more tied to feeling that he doesn’t appreciate how much time he gets to indulge his hobby and you feel pissed off that you don’t get the same opportunity.

Could you fit in some more exercise in the evening once he’s back from work?

Windmyonlyfirend thanks think you articulated better than I could. I was pissed off with the fact that he said it in a hard done by way, when the amount of exercise he has managed to already clock up this week is far more than I could ever hope for. Now the evenings are getting lighter yes I can try and squeeze more in, he normally leaves at 7:30am and not back till just before 8pm.